<p>Yakyu…since D has always been insistent on finding the owner of the other vehicle, identifying herself and giving all the needed information and then following up until the problem is solved…I am curious as to how you have arrived at the conclusion that she is selfish, uncaring and unaware…please clarify.</p>
<p>Dietz Im not a parent. But Ive been a driver for 6 years. The first time I tried to park my car, I scratched another car without realizing because the music was too high (begginers stupidity), since it was my car I had to take care of it. The second time, making a U turn I hit the back light of a parked van. I even picked up the pieces because I refused paying for that, I glued the pieces and put it back. Those incidents happened the first month. Since then I havent had an issue. I think the whole dents and scratches etc etc, is normal, especially if the car isnt hers, she doesnt have the chance to feel confident, and at the same time take care of it, pay for it, etc. If I have to use my mom’s car I try to take care of it but when I force the clutch, gear, brakes, or even a sound I dont care to much as I would if it happened to my car. After all she’ll take care of it, and I have to take care of mine.</p>
<p>Sent from my X10a using CC App</p>
<p>Those red light camera tickets are big money makers and start popping everywhere in our area. I figure it’s a matter of time that I will be nabbed, much less a teenager, and I drive like an old lady! My daughter’s Achilles heels is parallel parking so whenever she goes into the city, I tell her to find parking garages no matter how pricey it is, still cheaper than scraping someone else’s car.</p>
<p>ccreader…funny you should mention parallel parking. I learned to drive in a congested and very hilly city. And, I learned to drive a stick! I can park anything, anywhere including our F350 with dualies. (and no, D never drives that truck!). </p>
<p>D is a suburbanite…bordering on rural. I’m sure this is one of the problems. Her fender benders are in parking situations. After having the afternoon to cool off a bit, and having talked to DH - the cool headed partner - I think it makes sense to take D out for a ‘day of parking’. This will include parallel parking with 6 inches to spare on each end!</p>
<p>I’m a cyclist. Y’know these adorable kids who aren’t quite sure how big their car is, and who keep hitting things, isn’t that cute-- you say it’s not life-threatening, but in fact it IS life-threatening. It’s threatening my life, if they sideswipe me. Hitting things is NOT ACCEPTABLE, and is not an adorable phase that they’ll grow out of. They need more and better driving instruction now.</p>
<p>I agree that a vision test may be in order. With an opthlomogist, explaining what your concern is. Once any medical issue is ruled out, I agree that she should pay for more behind the wheel training with an instructor. </p>
<p>My 19 year old daughter has had no tickets. Did rear end a car on very rainy day, but the policeman only gave her a warning because the conditions weren’t good that day and her rate of speed was very low. She was going slow enough that there was no damage to her car and minimal fender damage to the other. My 17 year old D has not yet a ticket, scratch or accident of any type.<br>
I agree with Cardinal Fang. I do not think these are cute and are not inavoidable. Distracted driving is one of the major causes of accidents. And that includes loud music and cell phones in addition to other passengers.</p>
<p>We have a rule that the driver should NOT be listening to music while driving (not sure how well its followed) and also not cell phone–texting or any other means. If they need to place a call or text, they need to park.</p>
<p>Whatever the reason, you need to be sure kids are NOT on the road until they can get these issues taken care of–those are a LOT of dings and citations in only three years. If there is a serious accident down the road, a good attorney could argue that you had notice that your child is a dangerous driver but continued to allow her to drive your vehicle, endangering others. Just another perspective, if the parking lesson isn’t enough and if your child has future citations, especially moving violations.</p>
<p>I think it depends on the kid. I didn’t have any “incidents” till I was 21 and accidently backed into a friends car (though she didn’t see me backing up either… she came out of nowhere around a corner in the parking lot). I paid and fixed her car out of my pocket because the insurance company would have totaled it and neither of us wanted that. No issues since (knock on wood). My little sister on the other hand, oh boy. She’s 22 and I still feel uncomfortable driving with her. She’s on and off the gas so much that it makes me car sick. She’s had two accidents - one where she got a flat tire, lost control of her car and hit a street sign on the other side of the road (thankfully nobody was coming…) and one where she thought the person in front of her was turning left but then he didn’t turn and she rear ended him. No tickets for either of us. My sister now drives what seems like at least 5-10 mph under the speed limit at all times because she is afraid of having an accident. It’s like pulling teeth when you are driving behind her.</p>
<p>I agree with everything ‘ucbalumnus’ said and agree - your D has definitely had more incidents than is normal. I wouldn’t blame her hits on ‘spatial awareness’ since she should be able to compensate for any deficiencies she has in that regard even if it’s more than is normal for a female 
. Your D is either careless, distracted, simply a lousy driver, or some combo of the three. </p>
<p>Chances are good it’s mostly the first two - carelessness and possibly being distracted. </p>
<p>On the distractedness, this can be related to the cell phone - either talking on it, checking her texts, or otherwise fiddling with it. She may also be fiddling with or distracted by the radio.</p>
<p>On the carelessness, she’s simply not being careful enough - no excuses. She needs to be more careful - look before she moves in a particular direction, and go slowly or even stop and get out to check if she’s not sure about the relative distance between her car and the object (referring to hitting cars in the driveway, hitting the fence, etc.).</p>
<p>You might want to require that she take some decent driving courses in order to be able to drive your cars or remain on your insurance or in this case - drive anywhere on your property. She could also practice parking and maneuvering her car between cones in a parking lot so she can get better at realizing the dimensions of her car.</p>
<p>On a serious note, you never know when rather than hitting stationary cars and fences she might instead hit a little kid walking near her car or some person crossing the street so she should try to be proactive in getting this corrected.</p>
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<p>The recent styling trend to high “beltlines” in cars and SUVs reduces driver outward visibility, particularly for short drivers.</p>
<p>Here is an [article</a> about rear blind zones](<a href=“http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/cars/car-safety/car-safety-reviews/mind-that-blind-spot-1005/overview/index.htm]article”>New and Used Car Reviews and Ratings - Consumer Reports) behind vehicles. Consumer Reports used a 28" high traffic cone to simulate a small child to check to see whether the “small child” would be visible to a driver in the driver’s seat of various vehicles.</p>
<p>How’s this for unlucky…D got into an accident. During her 2nd behind the wheel lesson! Thankfully it was not her fault, but the pain in the butt to get it removed from her record was a pain. She didn’t have a license, but somehow the DMV found a way to charge her a point for the accident. Many phone calls and letters from driving school and witnesses later, and it was cleared.</p>
<p>I’m honestly amazed at how many parents don’t care that their kids run into things with 2000 lbs of metal. Astounding.</p>
<p>Maybe teenagers would drive better if the parents cared when they got into accidents and there were negative consequences.</p>
<p>Who has been paying for the tickets, paying for the repairs (or the deductibles), schlepping the car in for said repairs? I can’t believe there has been no effect on your insurance (you are very lucky).</p>
<p>What other consequences has she experienced as a result of each of these events?</p>
<p>By the time S1 graduated from h.s., he had four bump-ups. Once it was car vs. tree, once it was car vs. ditch. Two were minor fender benders. There were never any citations. In college he got two speeding tickets. He hired a lawyer and got it taken care of. He also wrecked his roommate’s truck just before college graduation. He’s now gone almost two years wreck-free…knock on wood.</p>
<p>I know why my insurance is so high - my neighbors buy “safe” vehicles for their kiddos - like brand new Ford F250’s. The kids then try them to see how safe they are…</p>
<p>I have three children. Number of tickets for the 3 from age 16 to 25- 1. Son was speeding (42 in a 35 zone) at frontage road near campus. Number of accidents, 1. D1 pulled out into the directional flow from high school parking lot and hit a mom going contra-flow to pick up kid. No charges, although I thought the mom should have had a ticket.
Hard to get into much trouble in a 14 year old beige Volvo.</p>
<p>One of my friends reported that she had the insurance agent on speed dial when her daughter started driving. Like your D, she had little incident after little incident. Although in our jurisdiction, those traffic fines would be nearly $500 apiece…nothing to sneeze at.</p>
<p>Both of my kids–now 24 and 25–have had exactly ONE accident each, both of them a minor fender-bender while backing up in a parking lot. DD got one speeding ticket (80 in a 70 while passing a truck). </p>
<p>Starting at learner’s permit, we sent both kids to serious drivers’ education: skid car classes (beginner and advanced), high-performance drivers’ class, and in my son’s case, race-car driving class. I know what a difference the high-performance drivers’ class made to my daughter’s driving: when a high-speed accident happened around her, she was able to steer the car through a tiny gap and pull over onto the shoulder, while cars ahead and behind her were wrecked and the drivers injured. I’ve been in the car with my son when he successfully steered out of a serious skid on wet leaves. Good instruction does make a difference. (Incidentally, I took the same classes; I know they made a difference in my driving.)</p>
<p>And Cardinal Fang: you’re dead on about the dangers that inexperienced drivers pose to cyclists. It’s hard enough to watch the road as a new driver; watching for cyclists just adds to the difficulty.</p>
<p>I’ve had a chance to speak with D and look at our damaged bumper. Turns out the truck parked next to her had run out of gas and ‘drifted’ into the space at a very sharp angle. While trying to pull out D got her front plastic bumper stuck on the trucks protruding chrome bumper and tore it. The other driver was actually apologetic and assured her there was no damage to his vehicle. When I first posted, D had only spoken with H who in turn relayed very cryptic info.</p>
<p>As for past instances, the fence and one vehicle was in our own driveway. The dent in the bumper(s) were minor and ‘popped’ back out. The other fender benders were while pulling out of parallel spaces and again, at low enough impact that they did not require major repairs. Each time D stayed to inform the other driver and, other than the Lotus, the driver calmed her down and assured her there was no damage. </p>
<p>For those asking about the tickets…the camera ticket was dismissed, as are most which are challenged due to legal and technical issues. D attended traffic school for the rolling stop. </p>
<p>D has driven literally 1000’s of miles, many on a winding mountain highway, it was a 50 mile round trip to her HS. She IS cautious and careful. In retrospect, her problems are limited to parking lots. So, she will be paying for the bumper and she will be putting in some lengthy practice sessions.</p>
<p>And as for bicycles…I just witnessed a vehicle vs bike accident at our local CC. I was waiting to cross (on foot) at a red light, a bicyclist ran the light and was hit by a vehicle traveling with the right of way. The cyclist was livid - oh, and not wearing a helmet. I live on a winding road which is a popular bike route. The same STOP at which D received her ticket is regularly run by bicyclists. In fact, I have yet to ever see a cyclist slow down, much less STOP. If you are a cyclist… please, please follow the rules of the road. </p>
<p>I do appreciate everyone’s input and responses. I need to learn to not post when upset, and wait for all the info to be sorted out.</p>
<p>Dietz – I had one of those Highlanders. I got rid of it within 2 yrs. I have driven dozens of different cars and never one with such bad sight-lines. And I am of average height and with normal flexibility. But trying to see out the back, even turning myself around in the seat, was difficult. I had more ‘fender-benders’ in that thing than in any other car I’ve ever driven, since my first Cutlass (turning radius like the Queen Mary). Trying to judge where the front of the Highlander was also seemed unnecessarily difficult. It’s a nice SUV but it didn’t work for me at all. </p>
<p>I don’t think she’s necessarily a bad or careless driver. It may just be a bad mesh between car and driver.</p>