<p>I find it really fun, but I did end up hearing from someone that I didn’t really want to be in contact with anymore. While it’s not hard to delete someone, it felt almost confrontational to do so. As I said to my friend, facebook is a great way to find people you’ve lost touch with, and then you’ll remember why you lost touch in the first place.</p>
<p>That said, I do find it fun. There is an article in the Sun. NY Times about the status updates on facebook and how fascinating they can be. I love that about it–those little snippets of somebody’s life. I also think that our kids are all so much more tech savvy than we are, and I don’t want to end up like my in-laws, who don’t even have a computer. I think if I use the technology as it evolves then I’ll keep up with it.</p>
<p>But you have the right to not accept someone as a friend in the first place, right? I know I will be very choosy about who I decide to be friends with. But I guess out of curiosity, it’s tempting to say “yes”.</p>
<p>One of my first “friends” was someone I don’t know! I thought she was one of my kids old teachers and someone I’ve served on committees with. After I accepted her, I realized that THAT wasn’t her first name and I didn’t have any idea who she was! Now I don’t want to unfriend her and she’s never said anything and seems pretty normal so, what the heck… My daughter has about 500 friends, I bet she has has some people she doesn’t really know in there too!</p>
<p>I was reading some Facebook “etiquette” type article recently and they recommended doing “housecleaning” of “friends” every once in a while - kind of like going through your email box/files and getting rid of unwanted stuff.</p>
<p>There are quite a few CC groups in Facebook. The Parents group is a “closed” group. I asked to join, but how does anyone know it’s missypie requesting to join the group?</p>
<p>We have a thread where people, if they choose to, can post their CC names. Most have done so, but some are not ready to do that yet. It’s sort of honor system- don’t blow anyone’s cover over here on CC. We really interact more as individuals (real names) over on facebook. It’s been fun.</p>
<p>Is it the closed CC Parents’ Group? How do you decide who to let in?</p>
<p>My favorite group so far is my law school class…it’s a closed group with one member…I keep thinking that she must have been friendless in law school so she is taking delight in rejecting everyone in the class who asks to join.</p>
<p>My point was this for instance. My D has had her Facebook account for 2 years. Started it in senior year of high school. Then, everybody and his bothered in the school friended each other. Now, she goes away to school as do some others. Of course, she keeps a couple of close friends from high school and stays in contact with many other HS friends that she just still “keeps in touch” with. </p>
<p>But there were some - maybe just random kids who were on student council with her, or someone who had a locker not too far from hers, or a younger student in a random class that now, 2 years later there is no connection to. There has been no real “conversation” on Facebook etc. I don’t see anything wrong with NOT wanting that group of people to know your status everyday.</p>
<p>When I initially signed up for FB, I didn’t use my maiden name. One of my HS friends found me anyway (through the HS Class of xxxx) and said she almost didn’t accept my friend request because she had no idea who I was. So, I did go into the account settings and added my maiden name as my middle name to make it that much easier for all friends to find me.</p>
<p>Melsmom Thanks - I never saw that feature. Now I have updated and maybe easier to find from old school friends.
I also saw that you can add a former name that is not displayed but can be used by searches. Interesting.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice. I have been married for 23 years, but was married with no kids previously. Should I include my old married name, too? So I’d have my first name, maiden name, first married name and current name. Is that smart or ridiculous? I wouldn’t mind connecting with people from that nebulous part of my past.</p>
<p>Also, what do you think about the articles in the papers today about Facebook? The New York Times article Facebooks Users Ask Who Owns Information says, among other things, . . .</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Does that mean that you can never actually delete an account?</p>
<p>I have facebook and get messages from D sometimes like the one I just got 15 mins. ago on my cell phone (a text):</p>
<p>“MOMMMMM! here’s ur chance go to my facebook wall RIGHT NOW to see a video of xxxx (my new gay friend) he just posted it. PLEASE it is the most outrageous thing ever.”</p>
<p>So I go there and watch this cute video of her friend singing to some song I don’t recognize. And I text her back that it is indeed funny… and we connect from 1,000 miles away and on a day when we ordinarily would not have.</p>
<p>It’s a glimpse into her life. What she finds fun, funny, outrageous. </p>
<p>I’ve also made contact with old friends from high school and it’s so fun to see their families and learn about their lives. I feel enriched socially from being on Facebook since September.</p>
<p>You can delete accounts on CC and on Facebook but the internet has a long memory (a cache storage system) and comments can be retrieved after the fact.</p>
<p>I elected not to sign up for facebook. If I did that then I think my kids would feel obligated to “friend” me and thus give me access to their facebook pages. I prefer to let them have their “space,” free from the potential of parental lurking. </p>
<p>Also, I know many adults are on facebook, but it strikes me as a place that belongs to high school and college age people. I think I’d feel as if I’m intruding.</p>
<p>Your kids will feel no obligation to friend you! Mine feel no obligation–one friended me, the other didn’t. </p>
<p>Maybe you should tell them that you don’t want to friend them. After all, you’ll want to put stuff on YOUR profile, etc. that you wouldn’t want them to see. After all, you deserve your privacy!</p>
<p>More and more adults are finding Facebook a great place to reconnect with someone from their past. In fact, just this morning, someone told me that the kids finally convinced him to get a Facebook page and he had reconnected with a dozen people he knew from 20 years ago.</p>