D1, D2, S1, S2--what to call one of those "forever ours" kids that just ended up joining our family?

Parent Cafe
1

Many of us have a kid that we have “adopted” due to our own S or D being friends with them.
What term to use on CC for this kid?

In my case I have been posting about a friend of my D’s who is truly “ours” more than any other family in her life.
Now that she has an H (from Boston) and a baby–well, they see us as their main family. And they hang out and eat and help fix things and so on. And count on us to be there. We love them dearly–so this part is great!

But I have needed to post some things and what to use? I started using 2D–as a designation that she is not D2–

Anyone? Is something established and if not, please let us!

2

The kids call them Brother from Another Mother and Sister from Another Mister. Hmmm…we do need a good name for us to call them as their “parent” by choice, not blood.

3

oh Gads --so BAM or SAM–

But, thanks! as you get what is needed…

4

In HI, the term is “Hanai” when someone is like-blood relative to you, so Hanai aunt or uncle, Hanai S or D, so HD or HS.

5

Not sure why the distinction is needed here. But I was going to suggest HS or HD, too. But my H was to indicate Honorary

6

Alternatively, we could all just stop using so many acronyms.

Newbies are often puzzled by DS and DD anyway.

7

I agree with Marian.

8

Personally hate DS and DD. It sounds sarcastic. D and S always seemed fine. I like that HS and HD, if you want a distinction, especially the Hawaiian version. or just add another number. If you have a D1 and D2, then D3 (added last.)

9

We have a “hanai-sibling” (to borrow Himom’s term) on my H’s side. When he talks about our kids, he uses the terms, neice- or nephew-at-heart, which I really like, though not so abbreviatable.

10

I’m in the camp of hating all the acronyms. I occasionally use H but never the DH, DD etc. I just always thought it was stupid. I would probably just describe the OP’s (I will use that) person as “extra kid” or something.

11

What about “bonus daughter” ?

12

For several years now, I’ve been confused by people who use terms like D17. I never know whether this means “my 17-year-old daughter” or “my daughter who is in the class of 2017 at college.”

13

@FallGirl I’ve always used “bonus” child, but I like honorary as well.

14

Yes! This!!!

15

Love the “Hanai” concept. How lovely.

Agree that some of the acronyms are just confusing.

As we have an adopted son it doesn’t fit to call her the same.
So I have a D and a S and an extra or bonus D — will someone make that ED and BD 8-|

16

In the Godfather, they just called Tom their brother, or consigliere.

17

I like the Hanai concept! I might be wrong, but I’ve only heard the term “bonus” child used when folks are referring to a stepson or daughter.

18

“Bonus daughters” is what we call DD’s BFFs. They call us “bonus parents.”

19

oh–I just realized that “bonus child” can mean an unplanned baby

20

How about “close friend who is like a daughter to me” or CFWILADTM? (Just kidding about the acronym). :wink: