If you accept a coach’s offer at virtually every school but MIT you are getting something of tremendous value: almost certain admission. The coach wants something from you for this valuable thing, your promise to go to that school and play on the team. This is because he only has a few spots to offer; if one is accepted but the player doesn’t attend, the coach will be in a bind.
Neither party’s promise/support is legally binding, but they are morally and ethically binding. And without that understanding, the recruiting process can not work the way it does, which is generally to the benefit of both players and schools.
You’ve mentioned the University of Chicago. If your son were to accept an offer there, his chances of admission would be 99%, vs MIT’s 30 - 50%. Very different propositions.
Yes, the D3 coach is. Doesn’t look like the FCS coach is offering any support, but the kid has to clarify with the coach. Waiting to hear from Chicago coach.
But wasn’t that MIT and we all agree that support by an MIT coach is not a guarantee of admissions.. I don’t think the coaches are misleading the recruits, they just don’t have the power to admit the applicants. I think it is wrong of them if they can’t promise admissions to hold the recruit to a promise not to continue working with other schools and coaches.
Perhaps the other coaches would be willing to accept a statement from the recruit that “You are my second choice but to be honest, I’m applying to MIT and if I get in there I will go there. But you know my chances are only 50/75% (I don’t now the percentage) that I’ll get in.”
Or he can just apply to the other schools without taking coaches support.
I would have no moral issue committing to the MIT coach and then continuing with the other coaches because the MIT coach isn’t promising a done deal. The other coaches may expect a little more for help in admissions (promise for a promise).
The MIT coach is offering their full support thru the admissions process. And no, that’s not a guarantee, but the odds are much greater than without it.
Some might. And OP should absolutely tell them if they verbally commit/accept full coach support at MIT. But that would preclude OP applying ED elsewhere, which many coaches will want in exchange for their full support. One shouldn’t accept two offers of full support.
westwave: more facts would be helpful
–did your son attend I-AA/FCS Cambridge camp this year? if yes, how was it?
note: if your son has any interest in attending the I-AA/FCS cambridge school, i think he MUST apply early action for him to have any chance. (and ask coach to write a support letter, even if your son is not a legacy)
***let us assume that div-III/cambridge coach’s support means there is 40-75% chances of getting in. i find it hard to imagine, how you can “commit” to an offer of support where there is a reasonable possibility that he will be deferred even if he applied EA and then denied admission
–did div iii/cambridge school coach say that he must apply early in return for coach’s support?
percuriam: Yes, he did attend the 1-AA/FCS Cambridge camp as well. After the camp, his position coach told him that, with his academics, he might be able to get into the school on his own (meaning no support/offer) and that he will have roster spot on the team if he gets admitted. Later that week, we reached out to their their HC via email. He responded saying that they are not going to be able to support his application but advised us to strongly consider applying (restrictive) EA to see if he can get in on his own; if he were to get in on his own, they’d love to have him on the team. We wrote back saying that have offers from several strong D3 programs and that applying REA to his school would mean stepping away from those options, many of which require EA/ED application.
D3/Cambridge school offer only increases the chance of admission but does not guarantee it. Speaking to a current player on the team who applied EA with coach’s support, we learned that he was a Valedictorian at a private school near Boston, highest academic scores, all kinds of awards/honors, his dad works at at that D3 school, two start-ups, etc..yet he was deferred and admitted late in Spring off of waitlist. So, no guarantees.
D3 school from windy city: we were told that their policy is that they don’t offer until after you apply EA (they don’t recommend ED). Essentially application is a per-requirement for a potential offer. We don’t mind applying eary to this one as we can also apply EA to the Boston school.
We’re expecting an offer from a D3 school in Pittsburgh; pre-read submitted this week. But this one requires us applying ED, same as that for top-ranked LACs.
In our experience, different sport, HC said with his support 50/50. Also this school is a real fit school. S had an extended overnight, first staying with a friend from his HS before staying with team members. He attended a few classes. You need to be hardcore STEM passionate to succeed/be happy there.
If your kid is not recruited but is a walk on, you know he will be at the bottom of the depth chart initially. Is the time and effort worth it to ride the bench?
Unless your kid has NFL potential, the decision I would think should be driven by overall college experience. Is it somewhere that is a good academic fit? Is just being on a team good enough, or does your kid need to be a gameday contributor if not starter to make the training and practices worthwhile?
What you’re saying tracks with what we’ve heard as well. And also with the former football player I know at this school who was recruited as an ED applicant. This was a few years ago so things may have changed, but an offer after an EA application doesn’t sound like a high priority recruit.
westwave:
i think you are doing an excellent job learning and evaluating various options and choices. keep up your fine effort. as others have noted, i found info here on cc to most useful, especially OHIODAD51.
I-AA. you said in your earlier post that you were not familiar with “soft” support. today, you mentioned that I-AA coach said he cannot support your son’s application. i think he meant that he will not be able to offer one of the 30 slots. but can you email him and ask him whether he can give write a “support” letter? as you may be aware, the I-AA school has “athletics” criterion where all applicants are rated, included those who are not offered “slots” by coaches. as others have noted, at this school, legacy status and “soft” support go well together. note that this year’s incoming recruits list has 31 players. of the 31, 2 are legacies. even though your son may not be a legacy, perhaps a letter from the coach (if he is willing to write one) may distinguishes from the other EA applicants to this school.
WINDY CITY. as with others, i am confused by your report on what uchicago coach. i don’t understand it.
III-TECH SCHOOL. If your son wants to have a chance at getting playing time, this school may warrant a serious consideration. in 2010, ABSTRACT17 wrote several candid and sometimes anguished posts on how he ended up at MIT (football): ivies showed some interest in the beginning and then dropped him, and then he applied to amherst rd, and then got denied. his posts may be worth checking out. some of his posts discuss his rather pedestrian math sat #s. he says that strong football players get more help that people think. i think the current head coach was an assistant during that time. this player was an all-county lb from the suburbs of NYC (which he noted is not respected for football–but highly regarded for lacrosse). i looked him up. he got to play a lot, starting with his freshman year up to his senior year. with his LB physique, he played at lot at DL.
on the issue playing a lot v. playing little at a high level league, if you have not already done so, do look at JOHN T. REED, “college athletic recruiting lessons learned by a miramonte dad” (1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2008). some people have called it a “rant,” but i found it to be fascinating. there DAD, regrets sending his tb son to columbia, where he sat behind the returning ivy rookie of the year for his first 3 years, and then was mostly a backup his senior year. the rookie of the year was bigger, faster, and stronger than his son, and set school record for rushing. dad regrets not sending his son to ponoma, where he could have rushed for 1,000 yards all 4 years. DAD does not explain why he sent his son to columbia. (the son was 6-2, 170 as a freshman, and ran a 4.8/40. he was recruited by several ivies, and during college he lowered his 40 time to 4.7 and bulked up to 220 his senior year).
NESCAC. you said that your son may not be comfortable going to a school in a non-urban setting. yet, your son wants to be financiall comfortable in the future, and may consider studying economics. i can think of several schools in this league which may meet his goals. if so, why not consider some of these rural school (even for a tip)?
i think a diligent parents/student can gather very useful information from cc. note that the recently deposed ivy football coach (ithaca, ny) is now heading football oriented admissions consulting company. i think your diligent prep and information gathering is more than sufficient to guide your son.
I’m not sure that I agree with this, at least for football. If the coaches at the D1/FCS school down the street, which has pretty good football, have offered a roster spot for him, then he should be one of the top players on the D3 school. I don’t think the coach would not play him because he was a walk-on, especially when being a coach supported football recruit at this school is still an unknown for acceptance.
I recall a NESCAC football coach that had coached at this school telling me that they did not have all that much impact with admissions on who got accepted, very different from a supported recruit at a NESCAC.
IMO, I would select the school that is best overall fit, without playing a sport.
@percuriam Good input. @westwave Has your son considered, contacted or visited Tufts? It sounds like he could be a good fit.
I like Tufts as it is a bit of an outlier from the typical NESCAC in that it is a little larger university, not a small LAC, is closer to an urban setting, and has an excellent reputation for stem as well as economics. Also, Tufts typically has a good football program.
I have not read this yet though a few things jump out,
-the Dad stating that he sent his son It may only be choice of words but sounds like a Dad that would rant. I would think it would be a family decision with his son, and should be made with the best fit in mind if not playing football. And with open eyes knowing that there are a lot of good players at this level that he would be competing for playing time.
-170 lb. 4.8/40 is not something that jumps as has a college level RB recruit, even for good D3 programs. There may have been other factors, such as 6ft-2" allows for weight to be put on, which it was, but there are many HS RBs with much faster 40 times, so not all that surprising that he was a back-up. Perhaps unrealistic playing time expectations, by the Dad.
RECRUITPARENT
–i double checked what DAD said. he wrote, “Profound and bitter regret. No decision i have made in my 56 years give me more profound and bitter regret than my decision to recommend that [son] go to Columbia in feb his senior year of high school. if i had to do over, i would recommend Pomona college.” Then a few pages later, he said he regretting “sending” his son to Columbia.
2. regarding “speed”: you would think that a college back would have fast 40 times, and you note “4.8/40 is not something that jumps [for] a college level RB recruit, even for good D3 programs.” Dad wrote, “The DIvision III schools all said [son] was a running back. The Ivies said he was a running back or may be a safety.” Dad added, " Ivy League player are big, smart, and pretty good. If they were huge or better than pretty good, they would be Division I-A player. When I expressed surprise that Columbia wanted my then 4.8 son to be a tailback, Columbia’s recruiter David Patenaude said, ‘Mr. Reed, if you son were .2 of a second faster in the 40, he’d get a full scholarship to Stanford’" Reed then ran into Stanford’s coach Willingham who confirmed this and added that such player must have good football skills. as for the, the first season he got a chance to carry the ball, he had 39 carries for 219 yards (5.6 yards/carry) and 1TD. he finished his career with 76 carries for 367 yards (4.83/carry). as for DAD: he coached youth and hs school football coach and wrote several excellent books on youth and hs football coaching and clock management.
3. I think the record setting RB at Harvard who transferred in from NW and played 2 years in the NFL was listed at 5-10, and ran a 4.62 in the 40. So he was a div I-A player out of canada. i saw him play, and he was stocky and slippery with excellent vision. he was an excellent running back.
4. i think upper-echelon Ivy football coaches aim to get Div 1-A level players (3 stars and up) and mostly don’t get them, and end up with 2 star and no star players (whom they develop).
WESTWAVE
you are indeed rightly cautious about what you hear as “offers.” as you know, this board is littered with those who realize that “offers” were mere mirages. i think with excellent information available here, you can navigate often nebulous and choppy waters.
Dan Covell played football (OL-center) at Bowdoin in the 1980s. He grew up as a son of an assistant football coach at Colby. He is now a professor of sports management at Western New England. In his 2022 book, “NESCAC a history,” (McFarland), he writes of how recruiting has changed since the 1980s (pp. 204-205): “‘for me’ said the parent, ‘the biggest change from my experience was that my child’s whole recruiting process happened coach-to-kid on my kid’s phone. it was all texting from different coaches. half the time my spouse and i didn’t know who my kid was texting with or what texts my kid got, because it wasn’t coming in on the home phone or coming through us. my kid spoke directly with a coach on the phone only a handful times . . . when you are just texting back and forth, a coach never has to say anything but can imply enthusiasm with a couple of exclamation points or an emoji. and a coach can have a volume of texts going through but not say anything in a way you can’t get away in a two-way conversation. because more than anything, you have adults who do this for a living and their livelihood depends on it, and you have kids who are naive and haven’t been through this before, and it’s easy to read into a text what you want to from it.’”
Covell adds, “The parent observed that the schools 'my kid really wanted to go to never fully committed but never walked away either. and no matter how my kids asked or phrased the question, there’s a way over text that a coach could play it. there was a time when my kid was thinking, ‘okay, trinity likes me, trinity wants me, so may be i’ll just go to trinity,’ and then the amherst coach sent him a text with three exclamation points, and my kid thinks, ‘i guess i’m still in it with amherst, because the coach didn’t have to put exclamation points on there, and the fact that he did must mean the coach wants me.’ said the parents: 'what am i going to say? what i’ve learned from that process is if you ever finding you kid saying, ‘i think they want me,’ then that school doesn’t want you, because either you know it, and the school is very clear about it, or it’s just degrees of positivity that keep you hanging on. there was no one my kid dealt with who said, ‘we’re not interested.’ nobody said, ‘you’re not good enough.’”
Wow, this quote hit hard. 2026 recruit, different sport, and what a gut punch. The schools that wanted her were clear. The others just strung her along. The uncertainly and false hope were torture.
I was referencing his situation with the D1AA/FCS school where he was offered a roster spot but no formal support. I think he is being recruited and supported at the D3’s, and is going to be high up on the depth chart. I would also say that a walk on for football for a D3 has a better chance of starting given the more limited number of supported spots.