<p>It’s funny, having had two girls who danced their whole lives, that I never think of competition when I think of dance (though they also did sports which was competition).</p>
<p>As far as meeting girls from other studios/schools…the way it was for my girls is that due to living in a rural area, our dance studio was 25 miles away and drew girls from many different elementary, middle, and high schools and so they had friends from all over at dance (though this was true in other ECs they were in too). In fact, very few dancers at our studio came from our own community. So, this same idea of meeting new kids from outside one’s schools was true for my kids even though dance was not a competition in our region and was just classes and a select repertory dance troupe that performed regionally. For my girls, dance was one of several areas of the performing arts that they were involved in. I agree that performing in front of others is a good skill that carries over into other areas of life. Then again, my younger daughter is a professional performer and so it is her life.</p>
<p>My older D is in a dance company that does do a few competitions. They spend most of their time studying technique; they have a single jazz number that each age group prepares for competitions (the senior girls 2 or 3), and these are all local competitions. Some studios have kids compete in a half dozen or more numbers plus solo performances. </p>
<p>They usually place very well with their performance. I find the competitions help the girls learn confidence and teamwork. They get up on stage and really give it everything they have. Because they want to. They are proud of their accomplishments and the moms are proud of them - as a group. </p>
<p>We had an amazing time earlier this year when they were performing at a dance convention and were asked by a producer from a national TV show to audition. It was thrilling to travel to New York and watch them perform their number flawlessly and enthusiastically before the cameras, judges, and studio audience. They ended up not going to the next round, but it was an experience of a lifetime for them.</p>
<p>Some of the girls are better dancers than others, but there isn’t any drama or attitudes like you might expect. It’s all about the group, and everyone doing their part. And the moms are the anti stage parents. The girls all know that their school work and other responsibilities come first, and if they want to do dance they need to keep up with those things.</p>
<p>It just occurred to me why they’ve chosen dance parents rather than soccer/football/swimming/horse parents. While the show will focus on crazy moms, it’s true that there are crazy moms in all of those other activities. But this show will have the added shock value of the way the dancers look. We all know why our kids wear heavy makeup when they dance, but to the average viewer seeing dressing-room and backstage closeups, it’s going to look grotesquely over-the-top. Add in rhinestones, booty shorts, and some inappropriate choreography, and they can easily present it as Pageant Kids Gone Wild. Can’t find that at a Little League game!</p>
<p>Lafalum, I agree that one of the most valuable things that dance teaches is poise, and the ability to present yourself well. When D was little, I used to sit in the waiting room and watch the teenage Company dancers as they came in and out, talking with each other, parents, and studio staff. They were polite and respectful, well-groomed, engaging, healthy, and of course, spending their free time on a constructive activity. I remember thinking that if dance does that for a girl, I wanted D in it. </p>
<p>Performing and competing also teaches them to just keep going no matter what. I have seen dancers lose hair pieces, hats, and props; I’ve seen dancers fall; I’ve seen one dancer who kicked her shoe out into the audience, and another who crashed into the back wall; I’ve seen a dancer get a feather stuck in her teeth for the entire number; I’ve seen a dancer break a strap and complete the number holding her top in place. You could all give a similar laundry list of on-stage disasters, and I bet you’d agree with me: They just keep that smile pasted in place and dance on to the end. Not a bad thing to learn so early in life.</p>
<p>There IS a dark side to dance competitions, and we saw it when my D’s studio went to Nationals in Las Vegas. We came in with age-appropriate music and technique-oriented choreography. What we saw horrified us - we saw more sleaze in the competition than on the streets of Vegas! Little kids in 2 piece black costumes shimmying to “You Can Leave Your Hat On,” 11 year old solos in silver lame bikinis to Britney Spear’s “Slave,” etc. Our girls were excited because we had brand new sweatsuit-style warmups - that’s what dancers wear at competitions here in New England. Well one studio from CA had red silk dressing robes to wear backstage - with the girls in the hair and makeup they all looked like child prostitutes. And then there were the parents screaming at their 8 year olds who were shimmying on stage: “Work it, girls!” I think I know where the producers of this over-the-top-dance-mom show are going to find their subjects…</p>
<p>But that was not common here in New England - at least not at the competitions we frequented. My 7th grade daughter was on the verge of tears after the first day at Nationals when she asked me, “If our studio did that kind of dances would you make me do it?” I told her if we even SAW that kind of stuff on a regular basis she would not be competing. And NO - if our studio dipped a toe in the sleaze pool, we were leaving pronto!</p>
<p>^^^^
Yes, Lafalum, that is definitely what the shows producers are going for, IMO. Sadly those examples are the extreme ones but I have seen some of it at competitions. One of my memories is of a mom yelling “work it Brittney!” to her daughter on stage. Unbelievable.</p>
<p>Oh oh. Nobody here has a D named Brittney, do they? :)</p>
<p>You are spot on! I remember one year…the girls in D’s company were in 3rd-5th grade. In many dances the girls go without underwear (many layers of tights and booty shorts) but in one dance the teacher thought they’d want an extra layer, so she told them to wear a black thong. We all still laugh about roaming the stores looking for size XXS black thongs. Think about how THAT would play on TV!</p>
<p>Our studio has always danced very clean, from younger girls to older girls, but I admit that I’ve seen some comapany’s dances where I fear that the guys will go up and put cash in their costumes. (How do those dads sit and watch that?) One year, again when the girls were 4th grade-sh and all built like Gumby, one of their costumes had cutouts on the side. The teacher was horrified when a couple of girls developed curves by competition season; she told the parents that she would change the costume if they wanted, but it was really not all that revealing.</p>
<p>Just saw the promo on Lifetime. Yikes. The show is called “Dancemoms” and will be on Lifetime at 10 PM on Thursdays, beginning July 13th. Here’s a link to the preview:</p>
<p>Correction to above, it is Wednesday, July 13, not Thursday. I have set my DVR as I want to see what I have missed in the dance studio since my daughter left ;)</p>
<p>I set my 24 year old daughter the above link and asked if she was going to record the show; he response was she lived that life for years and didn’t need to watch it again!! She didn’t mean I was that type of dance mom, just that she has seen it enough in the studio with a few other moms. While I can name some of the moms that were pushy and demanding, I don’t know of any that resorted to verbal abuse, at least not in public. One young girl seemed afraid of her mother, so I always wondered about her; the others were just pushy stage moms.</p>
<p>Now, if you want to talk about my daughter’s ballet director, he is another story. I think back about his methods, and would call it verbal abuse; to this day my daughter and the other girls will defend him. As a Russian, his methods were not the sweet and sappy kind you might find in the little studios; the girls expected and accepted his rough ways, and all will say they would never be the ballet dancer they became without him.</p>
<p>Ballet studios have MUCH more subtle politics and stage moms than on that trailer LOL!
Lots of apple-polishing like making costumes, doing PR, big donations… Thee things really do keep the studios afloat, but they definitely tilt the treatment of the students. SUCH IS LIFE.
I am not going to watch this show. It is grating.</p>
<p>I definitely have seen some bad behavior in dancemoms over the years, but probably not to the extent that it will be portrayed on this show. I will probably give it a watch, though, at least one time…</p>
<p>Never really did dance with my kids beyond the early ballet/tap stuff, but we did do competitive soccer. I’m sure they could do a reality show on some of the rabid parents in this world, too. </p>
<p>I think every endeavor has these types of parents, including those in the academic world as well. In fact, my DH and I had to really pull ourselves out of the mentality of pushing our child. When they say they want something, it’s hard to keep your mouth shut when you feel they aren’t giving it their all. But shut up you must. Fortunately, we learned that lesson sooner rather than later. Wish it had been EVEN sooner, but you live and you learn.</p>
<p>Interestingly, in my experience the biggest “dance moms” had kids who weren’t terribly good dancers. They were angling for any way they could to get their daughters into more dances - whether it was shadowing the director and showering her with compliments, offering to make costumes or work backstage, or making snide comments about the girls who had the prime roles. (“I don’t understand why they play favorites! Lindsey has 11 dances and is always front and center, and my Katie has 3 dances and she’s in the back corner of every formation.” No one has the heart to tell Katie’s mom that Katie has terrible technique and is always a half-beat behind. And the director won’t cut her because she shows up and tries, and her mom pays the bill on time.) </p>
<p>The moms of the “stars,” on the other hand, were usually the most lackadaisical. They whined about having to go to more competitions, whined about the fees (and very often were way behind in their payments, figuring the director couldn’t toss their kid because she was a star), and barely set foot in the studio if they could help it. They showed up to see their kids compete, then went to the bar until awards started, returning just in time to complain that awards took too long and that they couldn’t wait to get home.</p>
<p>And all will get their own reality shows eventually.</p>
<p>I can see it now…Spelling Bee Moms! Math Competition Moms! Vocal Solo and Ensemble Moms! Chess Team Moms!</p>
<p>I will say that if the producers of a reality show want to hang around with our Class of '11 drill team moms, they would have a pretty darned nice time.</p>
<p>I remember one dance mom in our group who definitely brought a thermos from which she sipped frequently as she worked with costume changes during competitions. She did not have coffee in that thing. :)</p>
Next Wednesday it is!</p>