<p>Ok, so I’m in a similar yet completely different situation as arugula, I am 20, Female, and I am very attracted to a 40 year old man. He is well established, owns two homes, multiple vehicles, and two Harleys. He tells me every day how intellectually stimulating I am to him, and that he is attracted to me both physically and mentally. I am attracted to him because of his maturity and the fact that we can just sit down and have a cup of coffee and talk about just about everything and enjoy each other’s company. I have no idea if anything will ever progress past just dating with us, but I just wanted to get some outside opinions about this.</p>
<p>Opinions here will likely answer post 61 the same as the previous 4 pages.
Some here will say date and have a good time.
Others will say they don’t see how he could be interested in you other than physically.
Others still will say it will be an unhappy marriage when he is 65.
I realize the last one is a peculiar response based on a question of “just dating”, but many expressed their opinion about it anyway.</p>
<p>Reading past posts, some here seem to define dating as going out with someone to enjoy their company, and to see if/what might develop.
Others here apparently define dating as spending time with the one-and-only that is likely to become your life-long partner.</p>
<p>MusicalSoldier, I stand by what I wrote two years ago in posts 9, 13, 15, and 20. It’s nice to know that two years later I still feel the same way and wasn’t just shooting off my mouth.</p>
<p>How do you know this guy? I hope he is neither married nor a boss/professor.</p>
<p>Try this…forget this guy and think about when you are 40. Do you expect to be dating men 20 years younger than you are? If you do, is it because you expect that 20 year olds will be your intellectual peers? Or is it because at 40, a 20 year old is unchallenging, uncomplicated, easy to impress and will believe you when you tell them they are your intellectual peer? </p>
<p>Also, when someone of any age lists what a person has before they list the personality traits they like, well, I’ve noticed those relationships tend to be short lived.</p>
<p>He is a neighbor of one of my best friends. He is not married nor is he my professor.</p>
<p>I don’t see myself getting into a serious relationship with him, but I would really like to go on some dates with him and see where it goes. </p>
<p>I have read a few of the other posts questioning the balance of power in the relationship, and that is definitely a concern that I have thought about. I have also talked to others and they all think that I am playing with fire here by getting involved with a man so much older than me because it is borderline predatory. I also trust my instincts and my instincts tell me that when I’m around him, I feel completely safe and although I am careful about the situations I put myself in and am always aware of my surroundings, I feel that I know him well enough to trust him and trust my instincts around him.</p>
<p>^^^Sounds like you will do what you want so not sure why you bring it up here. Just one thing to keep in mind, and you may not care, but when I (and others your parents’ ages) see a 40 year old man going after a 20 year old, I feel a little bit of contempt for him. And believe me, it’s not jealousy that provokes it.</p>
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<p>It is, but hopefully he can take care of himself.</p>
<p>what’s the acceptable age gap???</p>
<p>^</p>
<p>You registered within the last 6 hours to ask this? Hmmmm…;)</p>
<p>MS13, I find it very revealing that the first things you say about the guy are how well established he is and then list things he owns. Very, very revealing.</p>
<p>IronMaiden, pretty sure the new poster is prob MS13, both just registering and no more posts since. </p>
<p>■■■■■ alert. Why else is this thread revived with yet another new poster? Nice try OP.</p>
<p>I think it keeps popping up because it’s a common issue.</p>
<p>This is a tangent, but whatever happened to the poster in the parent forum whose dd was dating her lecturer/prof?</p>
<p>I and many others have CC sons (24-30yo) who are well into their careers and without SO’s. You only have to ask :evileye:</p>
<p>Well the good news is that in the case of the OP, he is no longer twice her age!</p>