<p>As a dorm parent for a bunch of years in several places, sure. Know that the rules do vary by school, and widely, with respect to cross-gender visitation. In general, schools have hours when this visiting can happen and rules for it – standard ones would be door propped partly open, light on, no intimate behavior. And dorm parents typically drop in to check in. Can anyone assure the kids aren’t canoodling in the bushes when they’re supposed to be in the library/going to independent music practice/free on a Saturday afternoon? Um, nope, but I remember high school well enough to know parents can’t assure that at home either. When kids violate sexual intimacy rules, most school treat it as a health issue (i.e, they get education) rather than disciplinary, though the rule part (door closed during visiting, for example) will be the subject of punishment (i.e., a period of increased restrictions on freedom).</p>
<p>As for drugs and alcohol, it’s disciplinary, except for the use of sanctuary policies, which many schools have as a one-time way to get help for yourself or a friend without incurring discipline. It’s a safety measure (easy for kids inexperienced with alcohol to mistakenly go too far, for example), and there is follow up in terms of health care and evaluation and counseling. In terms of enforcement, it’s mostly a matter of being present, and doing so in an unpredictable way. I want the kids in my dorm to think they might see me whenever, so there’s no “safe” time when you can be sure you won’t bump into an adult. And we make them engage – no, ok, night, going to bed. They are forced to hang out long enough that we can make sure nothing is weird. Certainly, determined kids will still smoke pot. But I find boarding school kids often confine these activities to time away from campus.</p>