I would say there is a relatively even split in who initiates our between get together communication. We typically have a text/email conversation a couple of times a week unless we’re planning something specific.
You should do what YOU want with this relationship. If it’s working and you and he are both satisfied for now, maybe that’s where you need to be unless and until one or both of you decide you want to explore possibly more, IMHO. A solid friendship is a great base to have, whether or not you both decide that’s what you want to keep or if you decide you want to maybe grow it some.
The discussion might be harder to have. But what about small moves that indicate your interest in romance (more than friendship)…such as when you have him over for dinner, doing it by candlelight, romantic music in background, maybe silly touches if you cook together, fire in fireplace, champagne, etc. There is not a lot of risk with that, but kinda shows the nature of your interest. As well, if you are sitting on couch watching a film or in movie theater, for example, what happens if you lay your head on his shoulder, or touch his arm, or grab his hand while walking? Does he reciprocate? Small things like that may give a clue, as well as show your own interest in a romantic fashion, without much at stake or anything huge. Maybe he isn’t good with first moves and will welcome it. But it is nothing big that can’t be reversed.
Another idea is to suggest a little weekend getaway and see what he thinks of the idea.
Anxiousmom1, do you ever talk with him about your past romantic lives? And have you dated at all since you were widowed? If not, he might not think you are interested; after long marriages, not all women are. And as a widow, I’ve discovered that people sometimes have very definite ideas about how widows feel and behave.
Maybe ask him playfully if he’s ever done any online dating, and say that you’re thinking of it. If he asks you what you’re looking for, you can describe someone sort of like him 
Then he’ll know you’re interested generally in romance–and that somebody else might find you if he doesn’t make a move. But if he’s happy with the way things are, you won’t have to do any backpedaling.
^ I don’t know if I would mention that she is thinking of online dating. he is shy and he might just think she is not interested in him at all and for all she knows he may think that they are sort of dating now.
I agree with MichiganGeorgia. If she talks about dating someone else, it sounds like she’s not interested in him.
I think I’m glad that I’m married. 
Soooo complicated.
Ditto.
Another idea… you could say, “My kids asked if we are dating, and honestly I was not sure how to answer” . (Or say “friends” or “parents”).
^^^Wow, I could never imagine myself (an introvert) saying this to someone!
Things sound like they have been pretty casual - I don’t know if I would have even shared the “relationship” with kids, friends, or parents at this stage.
It was just a brainstorm. But usually if you’ve spent a lot of time with somebody (friend or significant other), people close to you know about it.
No, I could never say “My kid/friends want to know if we’re dating…”
I’ve never said a thing about this to my kid and have only mentioned it to one friend. It really has been a nice friendship and nothing approaching a capital R, “relationship.”
Personally, I think you should give things more time. Good friendships are hard to develop as we get older. It would be a shame to lose that. I think things will develop with time if they are meant to happen.
Apologies for sounding like a Debbie Downer, but I asked my DH his thoughts, and he thought if the guy was interested in a romantic relationship, he’d have indicated that by now. FWIW.
I have to say that what @jym626 posted in #111 has crossed my mind from the very start of this thread. I think it is unusual for a man who is interested in a romantic relationship, to not have demonstrated that by now. Truly, in the contemporary dating world, it seems unusual to me that six months could go by without a single physical interaction between the two parties, if a relationship were of interest. Honestly, even six dates may be a long time, just saying. However, on the other hand, this person may be very shy about these things, and it sounds like both parties are to some extent. If neither have dated in years, maybe it is starting out slowly, very slowly. That is why I think that if the woman is interested, there are ways to show interest that are not very risky or big, such as holding a hand or laying a head on a shoulder, or setting a romantic environment for a shared dinner, or suggesting a little weekend getaway. If no enthusiastic response comes back, nothing is truly risked and the friendship could continue if that is what both people are content with.
I think you should prioritize what is most important to you.
You can continue with the current friendship and maybe it will progress to something else, or maybe not. You can tell him what you want and it could lead to a relationship or a split.
Is your companionship with him more important, or is snuggling and sex as well as companionship more important? IOWs can you live with your current relationship and be happy or do you need more? If so, be forthcoming. You are not getting any younger. Time is a wasting!!
Posts 111 and 112 could well be right. It has been such a long time since I’ve been in a position to sort this out that I just feel like I’m not a great judge of what’s going on. Assuming they are correct I guess it’s a good thing I haven’t pushed the issue! The trick will be how to sustain a good male-female friendship should he get involved with someone else.
The time you’re investing in this relationship may be keeping you from finding true love elsewhere. That’s why I would say something. Better to know and move on, if needed.
Sounds like they see each other once a week or so and keep in touch a few times a week. That doesn’t seem like a time suck that would detract from getting involved elsewhere if the opportunity presents itself.
Gads, why not just have a casual conversation asking how he sees this relationship.
Over coffee. That is the entire question, “how do you see our relationship?”.
I guess I would ask myself “am I falling in love with him?” If you are then you need to somehow speak up.
If he starts dating someone else, I highly doubt you will be able to maintain your current relationship as is. I’d put it out there as oregon101 suggested. Why not be honest?