<p>So . . . I’m a HS senior and I’ve never really, well, dated. I’ve just never really met anyone I’ve been interested in dating. I’m from a small town and my options are sort of limited. I don’t party (nor am I really interested in doing so). My social schedule is the <em>very</em> odd movie with my friends (like 2x/year), watching movies at home, and reading. When I’m with my friends, we mostly worry about school, collectively. I spend most of my time studying and thinking about school. </p>
<p>I would like to date in college, occasionally. I’m not looking for an MRS degree, just for some good conversation, intellectual discussion, and a good time. My parents think that dating is a horrible distraction–“the less you date, the more you study” seems to be their idea of it. On one level, I sort of agree with them (why waste the time, should focus on degree/tests/career, could be doing work study instead) but it is an experience I would like to have. I may never be asked out, and, in that case, I might be able to distract myself from ever thinking about it. </p>
<p>So, what’s the opinion of all the veterans? Is it possible to date and still maintain a high degree of quality in schoolwork? Or should I just continue what I’ve been doing in HS (which has worked very well for me–good grades, club involvement, etc)? I almost wish I didn’t have any desire to date, period! But I do! Any guilt-free, partnership-free substitutes for actual dating? Feeding the homeless? Just working in free time? Not thinking about it? What if someone does ask me out? “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not dating until <em>after</em> I’ve landed my dream job at XYZ company, done this, studied abroad, made Dean’s List. Would love to, but terribly sorry. Naught to do with you, never fear.” </p>
<p>Ideas? Comments? Suggestions? Complaints?</p>
<p>Maybe I’m not the best person to be responding, but I’m pretty sure you can balance dating and studying, it’s not like you’re going to be glued to eachother 24/7.</p>
<p>I’m not a party person, I’m more of a hermit that likes to crawl out occasionally for a good time. I’ve made friends in classes, but don’t really do a whole lot outside of class. In high school all my friends were girls, and I didn’t date except 1 guy. In college, most of my friends are guys… a couple of them have made it quite clear that they want to date me, but I’m not interested in dating them (I’m just not attracted to them in that way you know?)… (but unfortunatly nothing ever really develops with the guys I am attracted to). Anyhoo… I study, I get good grades, and sucessfully balance my non-existant dating scene.</p>
<p>What to do when someone asks you out really depends on how you feel about the person asking… if you like the guy, go out, have fun… if the thought of being with that guy makes your stomach turn, it’s probably better that you let him down easy & not go out with him.</p>
<p>um, of course you can balance awesome grades and having a boyfriend (which is more involved/time-consuming than casual dating… b/c the whole thing can lead to periods of depression and ****edoffness when you two are having issues, and this becomes a time for total non-productiveness sometimes). it’s all about prioritizing. in my experience, if you date/have a boyfriend who’s as academically motivated as you are, then it all should work out fine 'coz each knows the importance of making the grades and being involved in the campus community, etc (i’m not in college yet–only two more weeks, but i went to a pretty pressure-cooker type HS, dated, and did just fine). </p>
<p>casual dating should hurt your grades even less (if it were to) b/c it’s just the same as hanging out w/ friends. you go out to the movies or have dinner or attend a college-sponsored event together and if the chemistry’s not there, you say bye bye. </p>
<p>i think that if you like someone and you have the opportunity to date him, you should go ahead and give it a go b/c in my experience obsessing over that person in silence takes waayy more time than actually being w/ the person. with that in mind, you should also initiate some of the moves (i.e. flirt, etc) if you’re into a guy, so you can get the hell on with life (with or w/o a bf) the sooner you find out if he likes you back or not.</p>
<p>besides, i think the whole dating thing is a good ppl-skill-building experience. you learn to let others know how you feel w/o freaking them out, and you handle real-life situations like finding out annoying quirks of another person and trying to deal with them; letting go of a relationship (not necessarily romantic) in a civil manner, etc etc. no book-reading can really teach you all that.</p>
<p>I’ve been in a serious relationship for two years and haven’t had a problem. Last semester I had two part-time jobs, 20 credits and my girlfriend to balance. I did more than fine. I’m sure you can handle casual dating–college SHOULD NOT be just about getting good grades–enjoy yourself.</p>
<p>I agree with all of the above. I’ve had several serious relationships, including a two year (current) one at college. In both HS and college I’ve taken challenging course loads, piled on the extracurriculars and kept a high gpa, all while dating.</p>
<p>Like ryanbis said, college isn’t just about getting the grades, but really getting yourself, which includes your dating personality/how you interact with men/balancing relationships, etc.</p>
<p>Both entertainment and distraction sound negative…
Entertainment sounds like it’s just random hookups and meaningless relationships. And well distraction is obviously bad. </p>
<p>I think for some people, dating is a very fulfilling addition, and they can balance it well with the rest of their life.</p>