<p>DearestMommy said, “I have also talked to her about the emotional aspects of sex, which I think are often not addressed with the heavy focus on physical safety.” Very true. Very, very true. </p>
<p>Jm Mom: “Will you be my S’s goddess?” Um… if you mean by trying to drop that information into his brain, I would LOVE to try. Just not in a Mrs. Robinson way. Warning: I have a low success rate with that. 
How I wish that I could appear in goddess form to enlighten and guide… alas, such is not to be.</p>
<p>In it’s place, however, all I can offer is the “George” parable and the “Spencer” story (names changed to protect the… well, you’ll see) and some Cosmo or Glamour (forget which) polls. Cosmo first. They did a poll of men, ages about 20-40s, and asked what was better than sex. Typical mid-20s answers: “That, with a pastrami sandwich.” “More?” Typical 30s answer: “Spending time with my wife.” 40s: “Raising the kids that came about through all that sex, and spending time with my family and wife.” If I can dig that up, I’ll mail it to you and you can leave it on the kitchen counter. ;)</p>
<p>“Spencer” story - sadly, men can get caught up in the “sacrificing for the relationship” thing, too. Spencer’s an engineer who has been dating a girl for a few years, quite seriously. She moved about 300 miles from home to do a year-long research job… and dragged Spencer with her. Spencer gave up a job at home, moved with her, and basically is being used by her. She doesn’t have a car and lives away from public transportation, so she has him drive her around. (This whole “other city” stint wouldn’t have happened without him.) He can’t get a job, because there just aren’t many openings in his field in that city, so he’s quasi-employed, somehow, and fairly miserable, being 300 miles away from friends. Long story short: the “serious relationship” has him moved away from where he wants to live, jobless, and catering to the g/f. Yuck.</p>
<p>As I’ve probably mentioned a few times, I’ve had a lot of men dump me for not having sex. George was one such person. We were friends for a few years before dating. Three weeks (!) into our relationship, in one of those intimate moments, he brought up sex. For various reasons, I let him know that sex wasn’t going to be happening. George promptly dumped me - yes, while in an intimate moment! His reasons were that he really wanted to have sex “soon,” that he was hormonally charged and wanted to take advantage of it, and that he thought he would regret “not doing something about it now.” Well - three years later, George hasn’t had another girlfriend, let alone a partner. As for me… let’s just say that I met a wonderful man, but the evil faerie in me could not resist telling George (still a friend), with a deadpan expression, how good it (ahem) was with the new guy. Lesson: dumping a girl for that gets you nowhere. Nowhere!</p>