I don’t know whether ds2 Googles them, but I do as soon as I learn the name. This gurrent gf was someone he was set up with via a mutual friend, and, boy, he sure seems smitten. It’s been three months, and we haven’t met her via Facetime or anything. This is verrrry unusual for my normally open-book son, and I’m hoping that this is a great sign.
I have several (like, more than 5) widowed/divorced friends who met great guys and remarried.
In the late 1990’s, one of my good friends from high school had a whirlwind romance and got engaged after about four months. As she started to plan the wedding, she found out her fiancé was already married. It was awful for her. There have always been scammers and players out there . I think dating apps just makes it easier for them to present as normal and meet their victims in a vacuum so they can hide their jerkiness.
As for my friend, she was really shaken. She moved back to our home town and lived with her parents for a while. There, she reconnected with the brother of one of our classmates whose family was in the same school and church communities as my friend’s family. It still took her awhile to feel like she could trust that he was who he seemed to be, but they are happily married today!
So what do the guys get out of this? Sex, and feeling like a Big Man for a while??
I just don’t get it.
My S met his wife online, on dating app, as did 3 of my 4 nieces who married and my nephew. You have to be very careful and do your due diligence. My now DIL says before she met S, she asked him a ton if Qs and only met him at places that she knew staff who could help her if there were red flags, etc. The niece who is divorcing is the one who met her H in HS and law school.
It sends up red flags if they don’t want you to go to their place, meet their friends & coworkers & family, etc.
I don’t have proof of this but I think we should be conscious of the fact that both men and women (whether opposite sex dating or same sex dating) can be scammed by this type of thing - or be the scammer.
This is one of those occasions when I cringe a bit that we just diss men.
Agree that this happens and can happen through online dating or meeting I. Real
Life without an app.
Good advice to anyone is to do some online looking before meeting ANYONE for a date. Chances are you can find out some info by looking up their name, where they live, where they work, their social media or Linked In.
It can be a red flag if they’re not mentioned anywhere online or it it shows them with folks you feel are creepy or worse and look very chummy. Definitely it seems good to do due diligence, for anyone.
It’s fair game to do a digital search and see what you uncover.
When my friends and I were dating in the pre-internet days, we all had a couple of dates with guys who had, shall we say, “other things” going on. Without Google or the internet, these girlfriends, etc. were still discovered.
Which is all to say, not new behavior, just a newer way to connect with sleazes and to discover how they are sleazing…
It has always happened. The big difference is that today, it’s easier to find out if a person is lying about themselves. There are far more stories of men having two families who didn’t know about each other back before you could run a search on a name.
It’s possible, though, that, like every technological advance, the internet has allowed scammers to reach a wider set of victims. Back when people in their 20s and 30s would rely more on being introduced to friends of friends, a scammer had a more limited access to potential victims that you do now with online meeting apps and social sites.
So it’s easier for scammer to access victims, but it’s also easier for potential victims to avoid scammers.
So I guess that I would say the the naive, the innocent, and the people who are susceptible to self-delusion are more likely to become victims of a romantic scam because of internet dating, while most others are less likely to become victims because of Google.
Back in the day, at least 2 women I knew who were in long term relationships with guys (to the point that marriage was being discussed) were abruptly dumped and they guys quickly married other women that they had been dating.
One of the women met the boyfriend in college. She was very close to his parents. In the other case it was a relationship that started in high school and went for several years.
There have always been deceptive people. Unfortunately.
My son met his GF on a internet sports site. They are living together for a few year’s and will get married but…
I have a good looking nephew around 32 in Chicago if interested… and has a good job… Lol
But many people really aren’t on the internet. I for one am not besides my website for work. It’s just not my thing.
Even so. After 4 months even if not actively searching, I’d expect to see his apartment, meet his friends, get an IG follow request, something.
Some people want companionship so badly they ignore red flags.
You’re on CC!
Duper’s Delight (sometimes called Duping Delight.)
Neither do I. Neither does any normal person. But dupers enjoy it. It works for them. And unfortunately, it’s not that rare.
This doesn’t count.
Totally get it. 4 months is a long time. I don’t get why people just can’t be honest about dating. Why drag someone along if your not into them?
Sounds like you are blaming the victim, e.g., why didn’t she see the red flags, she should have known better, etc. I don’t know the specifics of what she knew or didn’t know (other than the info I shared) but I feel compassion for the victim.
I have a 29 year old niece in Madison with Epic, visits back home in Deerfield regularly, has been active with Chabad and YJP in Madison…
Wasn’t CC dating one of the monetization possible ideas?