<p>I don’t have anything against my daughter dating a wealthy person for the right reasons, and those reasons have to do with the ‘person’ and not the ‘wealthy.’ Exactly the same way I would feel about a poor person.</p>
<p>I have no doubt that my daughter will have a career and if she ends up marrying a poor person of value, that she can support both of them. And since that is the environment she grew up in, I expect she will find that quite comfortable.</p>
<p>What is your point?<br>
What make you think your daughter could support both Of them? Do you have a crystal ball? It is nice when you corner the moral compass.</p>
<p>I can’t discriminate because I have been on both sides. It’s kind of like when my staff want to charge me with discrimination. I tell them that I am over 40, a woman and a minority, which point would you like to get me on?</p>
<p>Two people can live perfectly well on the average college graduate’s income - as a matter of fact, even with a couple of kids.</p>
<p>Of course, there may not be a new Lexus in the garage or a Caribbean cruise in the near future, but some people manage to live without those things - quite happily, in fact.</p>
<p>My kids are not at marriage appropriate age yet. I have no problem with them exploring a bit. At the end of the day, they will end up at the right place because of their upbringing.</p>
<p>We all hope they will end up in the right place, whatever that means to each of us. But there was this question about why we send them to college: Is it really for the pure sake of learning? Yes, that is a very large part of why we sent ours off. To round out their education, get more depth and breadth than they could have in hs- and do it in a context where others are similarly motivated and prepped. </p>
<p>I think we have to think about notions of living decently and living with tons of options. In between, if our kids have the right values they will get the richness in life- they just may not fly 1st class. Far worse to marry someone who won’t travel than to accomplish it on a budget. Just as easy to cook at home for friends who can’t afford to go out. Some of our family’s cherished memories are about times together and the “splurges” don’t sit as high on the list.</p>
<p>Long talk with D today about the dropout romance- actually sounds like a person I might like, a person who cares about my kid, who laughs and is open. We’ll see how the “aspirations” thing works out.</p>
<p>what? no lexus in the garage?-- sorry, then I can’t be friends with you.</p>
<p>I did not quite get the comment about the moral compass? Whose moral compass are we talking about? #182</p>
<p>I would rather be happy with a funny and loving partner, and if we never made it to Paris that would be okay.</p>
<p>In the end, you could end up married to your “dream” person (or your parent’s dream person, if that was the message) with the mansion, cars, degrees. And it could be an empty life.</p>
<p>A perfectly lovely life can indeed be had without a Lexus in the garage. I dont judge anyone by the car they drive. </p>
<p>I just happen to like a nice car myself and I am lucky my income allows that to happen. The fact that I do enjoy nice things and buy them with money I so hapened to earn doesn’t mean I am defined by them. And neither do I define others by their lack of interest in same, or the income to support it.</p>
<p>Capitalists are people too you know. </p>
<p>As long as the work is legal, ethical, and done without violation of international treaties or illegal handguns, live and let live in accordance with our respective values and interests. Its all good. Dont get the judgment that seems to come from both directions. It is just as distasteful to judge and be judged on the basis of what you have as it is to be judged on the basis of what you don’t.</p>
<p>When I met my husband he was employed in a much less “professional” job than mine and he had flunked OUT of college…twice. </p>
<p>My son was a dishwasher…he was and is a very polite and respectful young man, and we would have been delighted if he had met a college gal while he was washing dishes. OH…he does have his masters degree now…but he didn’t then.</p>
<p>To be honest, the OP needs to try to look at this from the perspective of someone other than herself. This young man could be a dream. Her daughter could be very happy. </p>
<p>I’m with Oldfort (a couple of pages back)…this will work itself out. Let it go.</p>
<p>I sympathize, but there is not much you can do about it.</p>
<p>I have a friend whose son got into a top college, but instead went to a community college in a different city so he could be near his girlfriend.</p>
<p>My point is that the value of the person has nothing to do with the wealth of the person. Hardly a radical idea, I think. </p>
<p>I think my daughter will be able to support herself and her husband, if need be, every bit as well as he would be able to support himself and her. Not sure why I would need a crystal ball or corner the ‘moral compass’ to believe that. </p>
<p>I am over 50, minority, female, myopic, immigrant, and successful in a significantly male dominated high stress field. I have been the bread winner in the family all of my married life. I expect my daughter to be every bit as successful (or not) as my son, and would never dream that she would, a priori, expect to be supported by her future partner.</p>
<p>Lexus and a Caribbean cruise! Hmm…something to look forward to. Sorry, when I think of Caribbean cruise, I think of Carnival cruise and it’s not pretty.</p>
<p>IhS- I think in today’s economy, it would be very hard to have one breadwinner in a family.</p>
<p>All you need to do to judge the perspective of the participants on this thread is check out how many of them, on other threads, indicate that EVERYONE in their family, incluind the HS students, simply MUST have an iphone, and EVERYONE in the family has an Ipad.</p>
<p>None of us do. We bought one last christmas for the oldest and she never really picked it up and it lay on the coffee table in the game room and when she went back to college, the youngest picked it up and then after an hour just put it down, and it lay on the coffee table until H picked it up and fiddled with it and put it down. </p>
<p>oldfort - DH and I just returned from a Carnival cruise in the Caribbean. It was fabulous! After the year we’ve had (mental illness struck two of our children), we needed the break.</p>
<p>Maybe if you live in a big city and have a fancy lifestyle involving flying to Paris for a w/e. </p>
<p>If one lives in the rest of America, it is very possible to have a very nice life on one income. And yes, my nice life does include passports and travel to Europe regularly, but for 10 days, and not a weekend. Too much trouble for a weekend.</p>
<p>Mainelongorn - glad you enjoyed it, but i am not one for crowd. </p>
<p>Consolation - you know nothing about my kids, but you are pretty darn quick to judge. Whether we have iPad, iPhone or any of those luxury goods, do not make us a better person or a worse person.</p>
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