<p>According to the Doctor, her mono is in the starting stage. It started somewhere between 3 days and a week. She’s still in the infectious stage and the doctor told her that it was going to get worse before the mono got better.</p>
<p>A few of you said one of your children has/had mono? Did they all of them have a sore throat? </p>
<p>D just started her hs Sr. last week. She’s been out of school twice this week. Dr. tested for strep, pneumonia, and bladder infection. Her spleen was normally sized so he didn’t test for mono yet. If she’s still feeling sick at the end of the week, he said to bring her back. Her fever comes and goes (seemingly unrelated to the Tylenol she’s been taking), general achiness, and very tired. Her throat isn’t really sore, and she’s not coughing. I’m hoping is just some strange virus going around. (at least one friend has similar symptoms–but it’s not one she sees daily.)</p>
<p>Deb - one way to work in another year without financial aid is for her to take as many non-engineering requirements at another school as possible. Could she take only the engineering seminar and caculus this semester? Can she take her English or history or other social science classes next summer at a CC close to home? yes that will cost something, but shouldn’t be terribly expensive.</p>
<p>Hopefully she will do well and have a mild case of mono, you are there with her and can see how she feels, and you know your child. Having been through this personally, I would counsel my D to take a refuced course load, and it sounds as if that will be problematic for her.
None of these alternatives are what she planned, but they are better than finisheing her first semester with a 2.0 GPA and maybe losing her financial aid.</p>
<p>rrah—take her back to the doctor and ask for the monospot test. I can’t believe they did not do it when she was there! The spleen is not always enlarged enough to feel in an exam and also depends on how thin she is. With a very thin person it is easier to feel the enlargement. The sore throat is not always a given; our D’s was gone in a day or two but the low grade fever would not let up…kept coming back day after day…take her in. If she is contagious, you’ll want to know. Good luck. So sorry for all of us dealing with this!</p>
<p>one more thing: our pediatrician told us she is contagious until the mono completely leaves her body…so it could be weeks, months, or more…all that means is to be very careful not to share water bottles, etc.</p>
<p>Here is a link, and I know there are more if you google them for mono…
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/552752-mono.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/552752-mono.html</a></p>
<p>Son had mono last fall as a freshman three weeks into the semester. I know of a local girl that came down with mono last week and should be leaving for orientation at school today (same college as my son). Don’t know if she made it.</p>
<p>As you can read from the numerous posts, mono is one of those unpredictable illnesses. The acute stage is awful. Such a high fever, flu symptoms, swollen glands, and horrible sore throat. Many kids can not swallow. Strep is not uncommon at this time too. The contagious stage is for many months. No contact sports until cleared from the doctor, even if feeling better due to swollen spleen. My son quit his intramural teams he had joined. </p>
<p>In my sons case, he remained at school. Was horribly sick for the first week, then as the fever came down he started to feel better. Slept and slept. Woke up to take advil and tylenol. Once he could stay awake, he attended some classes. Took a couple of weeks to return to class consistently, but the profs were all understanding. When he came home for winter break, I took him to the pediatrician for a post mono check up.</p>
<p>Mono is very common in college. After I told a friend of my sons mono, she told me she had mono in college and then came down with chicken pox after that. She did not leave school or go home but spent a lot of time living in the infirmary.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, you will not know if your daughter will have a speedy recovery or slow. The acute phase will end and then it seems its just how tired she is. Some kids can’t get out of bed and others can function moderately well and improve steadily. </p>
<p>Definitely call the dean and adivsor. Sons then contacted all his profs for him. Total support. I called roommates Mom (we met up on CC and not to our doing, our sons were assigned as roommates) and asked her to have her son make sure he had water bottles, etc…) Call the music dept. to have her audition delayed. Missing the first week of classes is not a catastrophe although it will seem that way. If she is up to travel and can stay awake and alert for some time, she may be able to go to school but her body will dictate how much she does and if she can make it to class. If she can’t, you will need to delay longer. Unfortunately, I don’t think there is a way to predict the recovery phase. Try to set up different plans of actions depending on the scenarios. </p>
<p>Sorry this happened.</p>
<p>My sympathies… </p>
<p>My son tore his ACL this spring which has a 6-8 month rehab (fortunately things are going faster). After talking with admissions, he was able to defer everything (including Financial Aid) for a year. He is attending a local CC and doing some core classes - History, calculus, Poli Sci - that kind of thing. 9 units each semester - which leaves time for a part time job and for rehab. I think of it as sort of a gap year. The school is helping to pick the classes - he picks 4-5 options, they tell him which ones will transfer properly.</p>
<p>Even though he could have gone at mid year, we talked it over and decided that a freshman experience best starts in the fall when everyone else is going through the same process. So he will be a freshman - who just happens to have (counting AP) 24 units the first day of school.</p>
<p>Hope that your D heals quickly and she is able to go off to school - but keep the “modified gap year” in mind.</p>
<p>I really hesitated to say so, but I would not consider putting her on a plane period on Saturday. She ought to be home at least 10 days or 2 weeks to get through the illness phase with rest and no compromises that might lead to complications…although there are plenty of people who get diagnosed mid semester, and although it is a Trail of Tears they muddle through. Fact is that I can name a couple of my own peers whose parents failed to realize that they should have forfeited a semester, money or a summer rather than allowed a 2.0 GPR semester to ever be part of the equation…my GF from years ago…with one such semester from illness…did not get into where she wanted to go later on…and there was remedy if they had contacted the Dean and accomodated or done one six week summer school…
I think you also have to consider that her roommates/suitemates are not going to be thrilled if she arrives ready to sleep, sweat and complain that she is “not herself” and can’t possibly concentrate or upload data. My son was flunking Calc at Duke in his return semester after a month of rest…and he could not memorize as well post mono until he got out in the sunshine, started exercising again and started forcing himself to bed by one am daily…his brain was fuzzy but then it is all so hard to sort out from Freshman Follies, excessive socializing, 2am Facebook and texting and chatting with people you are excited to meet into the wee hours.
As a parent, you have to view the long road for her, and this is going to be hard for her to do when faced with the immense social excitement of meeting her new college family of new best friends. DO help her protect her GPR by making sure she either reduces her load, only takes composition, music and whatever else arty she can pack in to meet requirements…and go on and think One Summer School session for some of her engineering requirements. Many premeds and engineers do this strategically anyhow…tons of them take a hard course solo in the summer on purpose. Duke is quite picky about which institutions…but know premeds who did organic in their home cities commuting to accepted colleges for such things as Organic or Civil Engineering basics…while living with parents…you just have to get preapproval on this if it is too pricey to do summer sessions at her own college.
If she returns and tries to catch up after missing 2 weeks…make sure she has the support from the Dean to withdraw. Even dropping one course at Duke for health reasons cost us big bucks…but his GPR was basically saved and he aced that course the fall semester when his mind had cleared from mono/or he had matured from Freshman follies…who can tell these things apart when one is 18/19 and away from home…I dunno.
I do want to urge you to avail yourself of talking ASAP with the Dean in the Engineering school…you may be unaware of accomodations and you may feel tons happier when you realize that there are people there who want her to succeed and will do extra things to make sure she has a fair start and a fighting chance…also…they may allow her to start late, and if it doensn’t “sing” for her…they may work out Plan B…to her best advantage…as they should. That is why they are there…to make this girl they are proud to have admitted…get a strong start in life.</p>
<p>Thanks again, I have received great advice and I appreciate it so much. I took her to the doctor today and it seems that she has caught a stomach virus on top of the mono. They are putting her on a short course of steroids today and the doctor thinks that should help some.</p>
<p>My D saw another doctor today and she said that my D was in the acute phase of the disease and she should be this way for the next 4 to six weeks.</p>
<p>My H and I talked about things and both of us don’t see how she will be well enough to go to school on Sunday. My H says its very unfair to her roomate when she is contagious and sick. He thought that maybe my D could study from home and return to school when she felt better. I know that she is taking Calc II, Chem I which could be done at home but she has an engineering seminar which I don’t know how that could be completed at home as it has group projects. Although it’s not the best plan, cc or the local u might be an alternative, although they both start Monday.</p>
<p>Right now we are scrambing for ideas. I need to call the school and see what our options are. I am also wondering about health insurance if she takes time off from school. Is there a medical leave option so she could still stay on our insurance even if she’s not in school.</p>
<p>25-I was a bit surprised he didn’t test also as I read about the monospot test before we saw him. I guess my thinking at the time was that a test wasn’t going to make her better any faster if she does in fact have mono. She’s up and moving now, just had a smoothie with lots of healthy stuff in it, is emailing her teachers, and ready to shower. I’ll see how much energy that takes out of her. She’s so up and down. It’s strange. </p>
<p>We’ve been extra careful not to share glasses, etc–generally we always are.</p>
<p>Re Health insurance, it will depend on your employer/provider - but in our case, kids are covered until they turn 19 regardless of student status - and then they must be a full time student to retain coverage until 23.</p>
<p>it is amazing on how many levels this illness hits you just on logistics of life like insurance, airfare and staying on the track in engineering…I am so sorry. I talked to the head nurse at Duke and got good info over Christmas…I was very concerned that the roommate who was in very hard engineering courses would be impacted or that his family would resent our son being contagious but they were rather great about it all.<br>
Call the Dean’s office and the nursing division and ask for Call Backs…so you know your options before you decide…so sorry@!</p>
<p>I just got off the phone with academic services. They just want me to fax documentation to them that she has mono and they will notify her professors that she won’t be in class. That was all the information that she would give me. They need to know when her doctors will release her to go back to class.</p>
<p>I keep forgetting but my D is not going to fly to school. We have planned that we would drive her and all of her stuff in the fall. This does make things a little easier. </p>
<p>Insurance is tricky as my D will turn 19 in November and they do need to be full time students to retain coverage. </p>
<p>Academic service were not as helpful as I had hoped. They did not give any options to defer for a semester, just that her professors would be notified. In their defense, they are really busy today with orientation starting tomorrow.</p>
<p>Call the dean of her department and her adviser. Your doctor has no way of knowing when she will be able to return. All depends on your daughters recovery and progress. Tell them you’ll keep them posted and need to know the last date to obtain a medical withdrawal and to get $ back) just in case. </p>
<p>Keep us posted.</p>
<p>I would do what I was told re supplying documentation as a staring point, then get online and find names and a face, and contact someone in engineering who could direct you on how to come up with Plan A and Plan B…since you can’t predict her recovery or any setbacks she might have. They should rally behind her even if it takes a day or three for the right people to put their heads together and come up with her options. Our son had a mild relapse but it was hard to sort out from his choosing to attend frat rush parties after being “well” for about ten minutes…he however lost ground fast and could not make it to early morning anything and had a very hard time saying “no” to the millions of social invitations and options on the hall. In other words, the amount of time it took for him to make As and Bs first semester became much longer post mono…and he failed to stay in his room and do nothing but homework and sleep. Lots of life lessons there for him as he then had to anticipate failure, admit defeat and go see the Dean himself and devise Plan B. He claimed that he would read a page and not be able to upload it until the mono cleared, or he could understand a lecture but not really somehow take it to the next level without an urge to go to sleep for a while.</p>
<p>This advice has been so helpful! I am really, really grateful. I will get the documentation and call the dean of engineering in the morning. </p>
<p>I really hope that the school does not think that I am overstepping boundaries by contacting them myself instead of my D. At this point, she is having problems eating, drinking or going to the bathroom. She is in no shape to advocate for herself.</p>
<p>Unless things change dramatically, I don’t see any way that she can start school next week. I can’t imagine going to school a week or two late and starting off college that way. I hope that we can work something out. My H thinks that she can do the work from home but I wonder about her concentration as you have attested to Faline2. Right now I think that putting her behind and starting out college just seems to be a recipe for disaster.</p>
<p>In my experience with mono (junior year of college, diagnosed within 2 weeks of the beginning of the schoolyear), once I was able to eat again, I was ready to attack schoolwork. I was still exhausted, but it was good to have something to think about and work on as I laid in bed. Looking back, I wish I had dropped a few credit hours (I took 17 hours that semester) - I kept my grades up (same GPA as previouis semesters), but it was a lot of work and exacerbated the social isolation that is common with mono. I didn’t have any trouble getting good grades during the semester, but my absorption of the material wasn’t as great as normal so my final exam grades suffered a bit.</p>
<p>If your daughter is feeling up to going to school within the first two weeks of classes, I would let her. The first week or two is most likely a drop/add period anyways, so there would be other students starting out a little late in some classes. Most professors are great at accommodating students with mono, and technology makes it much easier to catch up than it used to be.
Check with the school regarding transportation for her to get to classes - it would have been a long walk for me to get to class with mono, but there were a few options for me to get to campus (campus bus, city bus, and a van run by security that catered to students with disabilities, injuries, or longer term illnesses such as mono).
Moving into the dorm late and being laid up with mono presents some challenges for making friends. It might be a good idea for her to host movie, video game, card/board games shortly after she moves in so she has a chance to meet people without exhausting herself.</p>
<p>This is so hard. I know you must all be torn up about it. </p>
<p>If we were facing this (our son heads to college in a few days, too), I’m not sure what we’d do, but when I think back to my own experience, I really wish some adult had said, “You can’t do this. You are sick and you will stay in bed or rest until you are well. School can be made up.” I would have been furious, but I would have saved myself (and my boarding school, and my college, then my job, and then my husband, and always my insurance company and checkbook 
so much suffering!</p>
<p>{{{hugs}}} I hope you will all be able to come to the best decision for your family soon and that everyone will cooperate (univ, daughter, doctor, etc).</p>
<p>I know just how you feel re being reluctant to step in and advocate for your daughter when you know if she was well she would only see you on Parent Weekend…and she would use her friends to get advice from and handle her own issues.
The key words though are IF She Was Well. She can’t think or plan or even weigh the negative consequences to taking engineering courses with a fuzzy mind and behind her peers.
I think you need to shake out the attention you need, and realize that the adults at the college need to have Plan A for her return if she suddenly is better in a week or so…and Plan B for her potential relapse. Plan A should be a reduction of her hours this semester with some thought to a summer term…most colleges run two summer sessions.<br>
She will be well, in charge of her life and your time talking to people on her behalf will be ancient history soon, I promise! I know it feels weird though …to negotiate anything on her behalf.<br>
If she is suffering, I would consult her doc as well for consideration of any secondary line of treatment…aren’t steroids sometimes used, sometimes antibiotics, too for complications to the viral illness…our son had a very uncomplicated illness that was all about excessive sleep and lack of clear thinking. He did not need any meds, only time, sunshine and a return to activity. Oh…and stopping going to late night parties, talking till 2am and basically carrying on like he was healthy when in fact he wasn’t.</p>
<p>Deb, I have had you on my mind all week and hoping D is getting better. I would guess by now you have concluded she can’t leave on Sunday, but I might be wrong. Our D is ending week 5 of mono and her first week as a senior in boarding school, and finding it overwhelming and tiring but feels she is getting better. That first month she stayed DOWN and got her rest and I hope that it contributes to a quicker recovery.<br>
Faline, there are no antibiotics for mono…really nothing but rest and a healthy lifestyle and doing only what your body says it can do. Don’t we wish we could snap our fingers and it would all go away???<br>
Good luck in your decision, Deb. I know how hard it must be.</p>