Just wanted to add that it’s not that easy for someone to take in a cat as a foster. Most people willing to do so already have a cat or more than one cat of their own. (People that don’t already have a cat either have cat allergies, don’t like cats, just prefer being cat-less, or live in a rental apartment or house that doesn’t allow cats.) Adding another cat to the mix can cause behavioral issues. I adopted a stray cat 8 years ago and it totally changed the cat dynamic in my home. Two of my cats now continually gang up on my third cat. I’m so tired of the cat fights and chases but I love them all so I just deal with it.
OK, almost 40 years ago, I went to a private school as an art major. It wasn’t a particularly strong school for that, but it was geographically close (I had to live at home) and familiar. I spent 2 years there and realized I didn’t want to do get an art because I didn’t think I had the talent and drive to be able to support myself afterwards with it. I was going there on a combination of grants, work study and student loans, along with a portion coming from my parents. After a tearful conversation with them, I withdrew at the end of the semester and planted myself at a local community college because I didn’t know what I wanted to do - just that I needed and wanted a degree. I spent a year there, then transferred to a state school, the tuition for which was less than 1/10 of what the private’s was. I wound up with a business admin degree with a concentration in marketing (I picked the most “creative” of the concentrations). It took 6 years to get out, and I was still paying off loans well afterwards, but it was absolutely the right decision for me. So grateful for patient parents who housed and fed me through all of this. I didn’t abandon my creativity as I did it in my spare time.
That is a very humbling feeling, having been so sure of a choice that you are not at all sure about anymore. However, there is nothing wrong in pulling back and regrouping when you have come to a crossroads. Yes, there is a lot of money already sunk into this school/degree, but it’s stupid to continue this course if OP’s daughter is miserable. She will have to rehome her cat, come home, and be realistic about what she wants and where she wants to go to get it. That is all difficult, but it is reality. Pretending it’s anything else will only result in more unhappiness for everyone involved.
“Rehome” seems like such a sterile term for separating OP’s daughter from her emotional support cat.
“Rehome” is a very nice alternative to “get rid of.” I hope the OP keeps us posted on what will happen next in this difficult situation.
It is unclear whether the daughter wants to continue with art, or with school for that matter. Between the mental health and COVID situations, who could be certain about anything? Keep options open if you can and discourage black and white thinking, which many young people are suffering from right now (adults too).
First off I feel bad for everyone involved and hope my comments don’t come off as insensitive but for others going through the process of picking colleges this is like what you don’t do. The art school she attends is excellent so she must be talented. That is a good thing since she will need that talent going forward. The degree is the less of the evils. Talent will win out here. Either you can or can’t. Many businesses love hiring Art kids.
But parents can’t let their kids get into this much debt and now their seeing why. Yes these students are young adults but their actually kids learning to become adults. Especially with mental health issues. I put the onus more on the parents then this student. There is a very strong word to use and it’s called No. We went through this with my art kid. She got into the number 1 school for theater design but the scholarship wasn’t big enough with our other kid coming out in 2 years. It hurt us to say no. She went to her number 2 on scholarship then as a junior took a gap year (really semester), transfered schools to enter a brand new career path, half scholarship, and just graduated so I get it.
The parents here should be making her payments since they are at fault for these loans also. Having a financial plan when picking a school wouldn’t let this happen.
If she is talented at this school she would be a Rock Star just about anywhere.
So, has anyone talked to her school about her dropping out yet and see where there are options for her?? I have heard this story before and since she is so close they might consider hiring her in their admissions part time so she can finish. Let them help her. Their high fees are part of the problem here and they don’t want kids dropping out. See if this is even a possibility now or in the future. It’s a great story for incoming students and again have heard of this happening at several schools.
. If not, start looking at the jobs sites like Indeed. She can find a job. She might have to submit some work samples (what kind of art?) instead of the experience they are asking for. Talent is talent. If not there are head hunters out there. Yes, the market is tough due to the current situation. My daughter couldn’t find something in her field so she pivoted and is making more money then she would of and back at home with us so she can save up some money. She doesn’t want to be here but it makes the most sense and will leave when she has accumulated some funds.
Her mental health of course is the most important thing. Didn’t read every post on the cat but focus on the kid. If possible have her live at home, if that is possible, so she has family support and not going further into debt.
In theory, there is supposed to be some government relief on student loan payments but we should know in the coming weeks to months. Look into other programs for debt relief.
My daughter is not doing her “art form” now but brings “art” and creativity into everything she does. Again, business likes art students. Might just have to be a bit creative to get there.
Good Luck.
Hugs to you and to her. Very tough situation and it is critical that you figure this out before taking on even more debt. I have a friend whose daughter did 2 to 3 years at a different expensive art school before realizing it was not for her. She transferred to out State U with a different degree but still loves her art. She now has a well-paying job in web design.
The loans are a big deal, which will just get bigger. Yes, having a degree is good but if she has an art degree she can’t or doesn’t want to use, not sure how helpful it will be. I agree with those that say she should take a leave and then figure out what to do. What is the net cost of getting a degree at to an in-state U (even if starting at community college) vs finishing at SCAD? Can you even afford to have her finish there?
You also need to level with her about the loans. How much of that is on you and how much on her? What can you afford to pay each month? And how much more are you willing to undertake?
If she won’t give up the cat, she will have to find a way to support herself in a cat-friendly home and start paying back her share of the loans.
Hope you come back to update and good luck!
https://www.cultivatingculture.com/2017/12/11/scad-scam/
Another former student wrote:
Stress, Suicide, and the Savannah College of Art and Design April 2, 2019 The author wrote: “SCAD is a beautiful nightmare.”
None of this is definitive, but is intended to point out some concerns.
My experience with artists is that there is a high incidence of mental health issues. Whether or not it is high compared to other fields, I couldn’t say … but MH was a huge concern among the students with whom I worked. Art school is tough. You have to create even when you have no ideas. Your work is critiqued … imagine a group of people dissecting and analyzing your work. It’s rough. Many students love art school, but others find that it is a different animal than they thought would be.