<p>I’m not sure how common this is, but do folks here have a lot of college friends in your network (social and professional), who don’t do their part and sort of “take” all the time? </p>
<p>I’m actually several years out of UG, but many of my friends who graduated with me or a few years behind (and just graduated) have seemed to really become what I think of almost as a “deadbeat” friend. </p>
<p>This is in terms of both professional and social relations. It’s been draining. One thing I’ve experienced a lot of are friends who’ve been really kind of irresponsible with their careers and personal responsibilities. They were the party people in college or people who for one reason or another just didn’t focus on career building. And so now they’ve really relied heavily on me (I wasn’t necessarily what you might call a super-achiever per se, but did take care of my responsibilties, in order to get good grades and a job later), while they are struggling and perhaps “paying” for their earlier mistakes. </p>
<p>I’ve had to spend an inordinate amt. of time teaching them interview tips, how to use Linkedin…how to write a resume…how to even search for a job, etc. And while I wish these people well and want them to succeed, it also seems like they’re somewhat deadbeat friends. They can’t give back to me much (on the professional side)…I guess they realize that and I guess I see that as well. But many have also been absent socially as well. It’s been a few years for some of my friends who didn’t land a job after graduating are now struggling. The’re not much social energy and communication and there’s a lack of professional development for them as well. And so a lot of our interaction is me just helping them through their problems. …And it’s gotten to a point of me feeling drained. I probably only have one or two people in my network who are the responsible type, that share my work and social values, that will/can hang out socially, who are proactive about things, and also can be of help to me when I need it as well. I guess I’m feeling a bit like the giver of my group mostly without much support when I actually need it myself. </p>
<p>But I guess it’s possible my friends don’t even recognize I need help/support, since I’m always doing the giving. </p>
<p>Anyone in a similar situation or have thoughts/insights?</p>