Deal with it or look elsewhere for a job?

Parent Cafe
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<p>I’m off to grad school in the fall and need to earn money for rent, food, etc. Luckily, I have institutional funding for tuition and some savings, and it looks at this point that I will have a campus job when the fall semester begins. The earnings will be modest, however, and I’m trying to avoid having to take handouts from my parents for anything. </p>

<p>I applied for two summer positions at my mother’s place of employment, which employs about 2,500 people. She is a mid-level manager in a division other than the ones to which I applied, and I would come into contact with her but would not report to her in any way, shape, or form. Although I was offered one job, I had a highly negative experience with the hiring manager. She has a reputation for being abrasive (which I didn’t know until after the interview) and asked me unprofessional questions, telling me flat-out that people in her division would “trash talk” me because of who my mother is. I am not so naive to think that everyone I meet will like me, but I am wary of going into a situation with the knowledge that it will be poisonous. </p>

<p>The job pays minimum wage and is not related to my field. I have an (unpaid) internship this summer that aligns directly with my goals, so I need to make time for that. My father has a modestly successful business (it turns a profit but just barely) and is more than willing to have me work part-time for him, which would give me flexibility to do my internship and would probably provide me with the same earnings as my mother’s place of employment. It is also unrelated to my field. </p>

<p>However, I feel that the HR guy at my mother’s employer really went to bat for me, looking all over the facility to see if anyone else would take me. In some sense, I feel almost obligated to accept anything offered to me because of his extra help. </p>

<p>I’ve asked my parents and long-term significant other for advice. My parents say that I should do whatever seems right. My boyfriend thinks that I should just deal with it, but he also said, “If you don’t want it, just don’t take it.” Needless to say, that didn’t help my indecision. </p>

<p>I need to make a decision today, so I was wondering what CC parents would suggest. Any advice would be appreciated, and I apologize for my long-windedness. </p>

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<p>Finnlet, you seem to have a lot of reasons why the position with your father’s company is much preferable that has nothing to do with the hiring manager or a situation where things might be difficult. I think you should write and call those that went for bat for you and thank them profusely and explain that you have that internship that would impede with the time and commitment you would want to put into a job at that company, so you decided to let this go for right now and hope to have the opportunity to work there in the future. </p>

<p>This really seems to me to be a no brainer. If you needed the other job, had no other money making choices, you should just deal with it because such a job is better than no job when you need the money. But you have an alternative and it’s a better one.</p>

<p>My son’s friend took an internship at DH’s company, and then turned around with other commitment that he needed to fulfill that conflicted with those of the internship, and he had to be told that he had to work the time committed in full bar an emergency or give it up. So it may not be easy to get flexibility at many places. You are fortunate to have that with your Dad.</p>

3

<p>If you will not have direct regular contact with the abrasive hiring manager, take the job at your mother’s place.
If you will be reporting in direct line to the hiring manager, decline and take the flexibility your father will afford for your relevant internship.</p>

4

<p>It’s wonderful that the HR manager went to bat for you, but that doesn’t mean you’re required to take a position that will only bring you misery. You’re under no obligation to take the position at your mother’s company, and it doesn’t sound like it would be a good idea.</p>

5

<p>^ what VeryHappy said. You could write a nice note of appreciation if you want. Especially if you are not likely to want to work at that company after grad school, do not take a role just because of the effort someone made.</p>

<p>Another point…the nice thing about pt summer jobs is that even if you get hazed or whatever, it is gone in a few months and they are still stuck there being petty.</p>

6

<p>Having worked many summer jobs while attending school, my thought was always, “I can do anything for a summer”…and I always learned something from each job. Maybe it was how to treat people, many times it was how NOT to treat people… If you do decide to take the job at your mom’s place of employment look at it as a learning experience, maybe keep a journal. I guarantee you will hear and see things that will change your perspective on life. I say now that I believe everyone should work in fast food or be a waiter/waitress as some point in their life- it’s always good to walk in others’ shoes- and how nice to know it is for such a short time…</p>

<p>Also I agree that you are under no obligation to take that job and a great big thank you to the HR manager and an explanation about the flexibility with your internship would suffice to smooth things over.</p>

<p>Good luck with your decision!</p>

7

<p>I’m taking it that you’re a Finn, right? So am I.</p>

<p>First, you’ll never have to deal with that hiring manager if you take the job. She can kiss your butt for all you care, I wouldn’t worry a bit about her. But how can you take an internship and a job that may be inflexible at the same time? That could cause all sorts of problems. It sounds like the far better deal is to work with your dad, making the same amount of money and potentially having the flexibility you need. </p>

<p>As far as the HR guy goes, if he knew your situation, I’m sure he would NEVER want you to take the job just because you were grateful to him. You can’t choose to take a job that isn’t as good for you purely because you feel obligated. But don’t just send him a standard, “Thank you for your help,” letter. Send him something heartfelt, and I assure you that he will appreciate that more than you taking the job. Bring a smile to his face and be truly grateful, and have no guilt.</p>

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<p>The hiring manager is the director of the division, as well. Based on my interview yesterday, she sees her employees on a daily basis, and her mood won’t be improved by the disruptions to her operation posed by some building projects this summer. The internship people have certain set hours and are willing to be flexible with others, but I did make my commitment to them first and need to be cognizant of that commitment. </p>

<p>I think I will turn the position down, then, and write a nice letter to the recruiter, as well as thank him via telephone when I call. It’s highly unlikely that I’ll be looking to work there after leaving grad school, but I do want to do the right thing and also not reflect poorly on my mother. </p>

<p>Thank you all for your advice. I am still learning how to be comfortable with not always doing things to please other people. One would think that I would have it figured out by 22. </p>

<p>@busdriver11: Olen suomalainen! Well, half-Finnish. My family moved south from the Upper Peninsula before I was born. Nice to see someone else of Finnish blood on here. </p>

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<p>That’s also a great song, though I can’t understand a word of it, tis a weird language. I’m half Finnish too, which is probably a good thing because Finns are completely crazy, if you know what I mean!</p>

<p>That sounds like it could be miserable if you had to work in such a toxic environment, particularly for minimum wage and not related to your job at all. Definitely not worth the potential angst. Good luck to you!</p>

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<p>My son is a huge fan of Finnish metal music :D</p>

11

<p>Finnish metal music…can’t imagine what that sounds like!</p>

12

<p>Like metal music.</p>

<p>Yes it seems like you have 2 offers, one has the flexibility you need, other doesn’t, so it is a nobrainer even without all the drama that may or may not go with one. As a short term minimum wage employee I don’t really think how much money the business makes should be much a factor. You never take jobs out of false sense of obligation. I’m very surprised your mother didn’t have some insight to guide you with on this whole deal.</p>

13

<p>Agree about flexibility being the most important criterion here. Good luck!</p>