Dealing With Anxiety During This Time

Parent Cafe
1

How do you cope?

Almost a week into self ‘isolation’, I am OK most of the time, but I do have transitory moments of panic or terror (as I am sure almost everybody here does). I am trying not to obsess too much on the news, I don’t look at the stock market, the 401K or my 529s, although I confess I have had a few moments of weakness that has made my anxiety worse.

I am trying to get out at least once a day to walk or hike, although today I didn’t feel like it so I walked to the baker and bought everything that will give me the Quarantine 15!
I talk with friends on the 'phone, I cook, I garden, I read, I’ve started knitting, but there are only so many socially distancing activities I can do. I am vey social by nature and have a very active social life - I try to get out at least once a day while maintaining social distance, but still…I feel utterly helpless and afraid for what our collective future looks like.

Please share your tips and strategies…

2

@momo2x2018 I agree that exercise is helpful. Going outside and also things like online tai chi or yoga. I think it is crucial to step outside once a day, as long as it is sae, which it usually is. Netflix is helpful!

The real issue is how long this is going to be. I think that is settling in a bit.

Are you alone? One of my kids is alone, across the country, and I worry…

Here I am with one of my kids. I am not sure which is harder, isolation or dealing with risk brought by another person around. I would feel more control if I were alone but am glad to be company for my kid.

Our emotions are going to evolve with this.

3

I’m walking with my neighbor most days. We meet outside, and walk one person on the sidewalk and the other in the road. My husband and I take a walk around the block most nights, too. Yesterday the weather was so nice we were able to sit outside in the sun and read.

I’ve turned news alerts off on my phone. I’m reading two books and have lots of shows on Netflix to watch. I’m also a knitter! I’ve been baking like crazy, too.

Tonight at 7:00 I’m going to stand on my front porch and ring a bell - the whole town is supposedly going to start doing this every night so we can hear (and see!) that we’re all in this together.

I also saw where people said to decorate your sidewalk with sidewalk chalk. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow so that may have to wait until Saturday. Lots of people are walking in my neighborhood so that will be a little pick-me-up.

Hugs.

4

I am not alone; my H is here, but my S is at college across the country and I am worried sick about him. That said, I’ve finally convinced him to come home, so he’ll be here this weekend. I may have to send him to a B&B for a week or so to isolate; my H has many underlying conditions and I don’t want to compromise him.

5

I’m not watching the news at all - just skimming the NYT each morning. Getting out to walk every day with pup, riding bike in my basement, cleaning, laundry, online yoga, watching series on Netflix. Meeting friends for drinks over FaceTime. I’m alone all day and night because H works for Gov. Of NY and is essential personnel.

I found myself last Sunday feeling very anxious so called my PCP for a prescription for anti-anxiety med. Receptionist said lots of people calling in for one.

Just knowing I have it if I need it helped tremendously. I did need to take one last night - but that’s what they are here for.

6

I think this article about strategies for dealing with coronavirus anxiety is pretty good.
https://theconversation.com/7-science-based-strategies-to-cope-with-coronavirus-anxiety-133207

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I skim the WaPo, not reading everything in detail. I watch CNN some, but no news on TV or online after 7pm.

I sometimes get concerned about leaving the house at all, but find I do feel better after I’ve gone for a walk.

Getting photos and videos of my grandkids always helps.

Watching movies and TV shows gets my mind off what’s going on.

8

Our granddaughter lives just a couple miles away, and I’m used to seeing her, and her parents, a few times a week. But now we’re all being super careful and haven’t seen them all week and I hate this!

9

I like thinking about the numbers regarding corona to relieve stress. Our immediate family is in a moderate to low risk group (early 50s parents with no major health issues, teenage kids). Even in a virus sweep of 40% of the population the joint probability of both of us parents dying is vanishingly small. My best guess as to one dying? Less than 0.1%. Kids’ probabilities are much lower in my opinion. All that is comforting to me. I’ll take those odds, especially as i really have no choice in the matter :slight_smile:

I do not fixate on potentially serious but not fatal outcomes. I feel confident that we can survive and we have no fear of discomfort and pain. Life is too short to stress about what cannot be controlled anyway.

It occurs to me that catching the virus right now ironically might be the best thing. On the very small chance that one or both of us parents need hospitalization, it is probably better to need it quickly, rather than later when the curve begins to ramp up. I have seen the stats. A 0.5% infection rate at any given time will overwhelm the hospital system in the United States in the medium term. I assume that will happen, so that removes an unknown for me that I would otherwise worry about. I waste no time believing that the curve can be flattened to avoid this outcome, but remain open to the happy possibility that I will be proven wrong.

Catching the virus early could also have social benefits, as any of our family who catches it and survives will be contributing to the necessary herd immunity that must be achieved because i very much doubt that vaccines or highly effective treatments will be available any time soon.

Of course, my biggest anxiety concerns our elderly parents, two in their early 80s and two in their early nineties, one with significant health challenges. Nevertheless, all of them have similar philosophies regarding pain and suffering, and are not anxious in the least about all this. Each is comforted by the idea that he or she has been extremely lucky to have lived such a full and long life, and that nothing was promised at birth. At least each says some variation of, “If this kills me off, that’s life.”

All that being said, even given their ages, based on the information coming out of Italy (which is likely worse than what we would experience here), it is hard to see a greater than 10% chance of death from corona for those of our parents without significant health issues, maybe 30% chance for the one with them. There are so many unknowns of course, and this assumes US fatality rates in an overwhelmed system (such as that of Italy) of maybe 15% for the elderly and a US virus sweep of 40% of the population. Those estimates are likely biased upwards because of better resources in the US.

Even typing all this out is helping to ease any stress, including that associated with financial dislocations due to what is truly an unprecedentedly fast collapse in the economic aggregates. Just a few ideas that others may find could help. If not, just ignore.

10

My suggestion - Go on youtube and escape into classic 80’s music videos. The perfect elixir for these crazy times, even if it’s only a brief respite.

11

My anxiety is SKY HIGH. Not sleeping well.

I’ve been watching Seinfeld. I can’t help but think “in the days where you could go anywhere and everywhere without fear. Look how close they are standing to each other! Life was normal.”

I am walking each day. That helps…for awhile.

12

I go back and forth between thinking I wish I had your attitude and thinking you clearly think you’re invincible and are in total denial…or are out of your mind.

I think I’d be calmer if I had your POV.

13

Sorry, I’m just coming back to this thread - I’ve been very busy today, obsessing!
And, as if my anxiety is not already sky high - CA now has a statewide ‘safer at home’ order; well, now I really have plenty of time on my hands!

I think I’ll ask one of the local teens for some Xanax! (joking!)

14

Sky high anxiety. I haven’t fallen asleep before 3am for over a week. I really need to fix that so I can stay healthy.

Worried about keeping my elderly mother safe. (She lives with us and has dementia, is frail, has other issues, so is vulnerable.) We are around 60, so need to be cautious with our own health.

One kid is across the country in a shelter-at-home state. One stayed at school over break and for the rest of the semester. He was already stressed about grades this semester. Third kid is far away and working from home. She said she wants to save her vacation/sick days in case she is needed here to help us. (That made me cry.)

I’ve been sorting through the basement boxes of kids’ papers, old house paperwork, and my own personal memorabilia box. I will say, going through my grade school/middle school/high school/college things was a great distraction! I was able to revisit some really great memories, and think of people I hadn’t thought of in years.

Exercise would be smart. I need to get back to that.

15

Washington Post
Opinions
March 19, 2020 at 6:54 p.m. EDT
The coronavirus has thrown us all in the mud

William H. McRaven, a retired Navy admiral, was commander of the U.S. Special Operations Command from 2011 to 2014. He oversaw the 2011 Navy SEAL raid in Pakistan that killed Osama bin Laden. This op-ed draws on a commencement address he gave at the University of Texas at Austin in 2014.
For a would-be Navy SEAL, Hell Week is the worst week of the toughest military training in the world. It is six days of no sleep, constant physical and mental harassment, and one “special day” at the Mud Flats. The Mud Flats are an area between San Diego and Tijuana, Mexico, where the water comes together and creates a swampy patch of terrain, a muddy bog that tests your determination to be a SEAL.
My training class had been out of the mud for a short period of time when the instructors, looking to weed out the weak of mind and body, ordered the entire group of 55 men back into the bog. The mud consumed each man until there was nothing visible but our heads. We were all exhausted, numb from the cold and desperate to hold on. The instructors told us that we could all leave the mud — if just five men quit. It was the instructors’ way of turning us against each other.

It was apparent that some of the trainees were about to give up. There were still eight hours to go before the sun rose — eight more hours of bone-chilling cold. Several of the students started moving to dry ground; they were ready to quit. And then, one voice began to echo through the night — one voice raised in song. The song was terribly out of tune but sung with great enthusiasm. One voice became two, and two became three, and before long the entire class was singing. The instructors threatened us with more time in the mud if we kept singing, but the singing persisted. Those of us stuck in the mud believed that if one of us could start singing when he was up to his neck in mud, then maybe the rest of us could make it through the night. And we did.
Today, the coronavirus has thrown us all in the mud. We are cold, wet and miserable, and the dawn seems a long way off. But while we should not be cavalier about the dangers of this pandemic, neither should we feel hopeless and paralyzed with fear. Hope abounds.
We have the greatest scientists in the world working to create a vaccine. Health-care workers are pulling double shifts to care for the sick. Republicans and Democrats have come together to find solutions. State and local officials are taking decisive steps to flatten the curve of infection. Our economy is strong enough to survive even in these challenging times. The United States has an unmatched ability to mobilize when called to action. More importantly, as we always have in times of crisis, Americans are rallying together, caring for one another, showing the compassion and concern that have always characterized this nation of good people.
Nothing in our immediate future will be easy. The number of cases will rise. The losses will increase. The markets will stumble. But make no mistake about it, we will prevail, because the only thing more contagious than a virus is hope. We are all up to our necks in mud. It’s time to start singing.

16

I stopped reading the Coronavirus thread and only check the news once a day.

I’m going with trying to boost my immunity by:
-taking the following vitamins: B, C, & D

  • going for a walk every day, and trying to get some sun then
  • eating my way healthy: lots of veggies and fruit, and rainbow

I’m reducing my caffeine intake

I’ve come to peace that I can’t control my parents or adult kids to force them to isolate. The only person I can control is myself.

17

My kids and I watched the “The Gang Gets Quarantined” episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia this afternoon. It’s very juvenile, and not everyone’s cup of tea, but watching Danny DeVito slither around in a pool of hand sanitizer made me laugh.
(Season 9, episode 7)

18

I feel like you do, OP,switching from being anxious to not. My S has been home this week isolating with us since last Friday. He’s going a bit bonkers and wants to head back to his college town with his roommate on Monday for awhile. (They are in an apartment).

I reminded him nothing is open, nobody there. I think he just needs a different venue. I reminded him that his roommate could have it and when he comes gone he could have it and give it to us,and vice versa. He cares, but you know the young. Nothing bad will ever happen.

I know he will be back home when he starts going bonkers there…and that makes me nervous.

I’m just really watching Netflix and reading my iPad too much. Exercising in my basement. I hate the cold and it’s been cold here. I think I’ll bundle up anyway and go for a walk…and take S.

I told him we need to play a board game today, so I’ll make us. Both he and I aren’t really big into that, but I think this one is fun…Sequence.

Been emailing and messengering with my friends to not feel so isolated from them.

19

I decided to cancel and decline all my meetings today and turn on my OOO auto reply. I don’t feel like working and I need to sleep in. That hasn’t been successful bc I work up early. However I am still in bed on my iPad.

I need to get up, shower, and go for a walk with my dog.

Later we will play board game as soon as DH’s last meeting is over. Kids been asking to play but we have been so busy even with working from home. Both kids are sore losers so this will be a good test of how on edge I am with the crisis. I told them if either one of them cheat or complain then game over ?

20

It would help if we could get some of that iconic San Diego weather instead of the incessant rain. The periods of sunshine really makes a mood difference.

I did have one minor breakdown; got the shakes. My husband is not good at comforting but he did talk me out of it. I know we’re lucky; retired so no work issues, no aging parents left to worry about, one single son who’s been working from home for three weeks and is ultra cautious, no money troubles, friends to talk to.

I’m still obsessively checking my temperature, especially whenever I cough and now when my stomach is upset.

I’m exercising with my old Wii Fit and trying to remember the Ji Gong (Tai Chi) exercises from the class I was taking. Plenty of online books to read, working on a paint-by-number, and may get out my beginning piano book and go through it again then get volume 2 and keep going. I originally got it for a class a few years ago that I took to refresh my childhood skills,

Last night I was thinking this is a really good time to get my weight down, and also go through earlier physical therapy maintenance exercises to strengthen various muscles and stay limber. Silver lining.