Talked to S2 (29yo) last night. In many respects, he’s being responsible - washing hands, working from home, going out to walk or get takeout or get groceries. But he did say he visited a friend last weekend. For him, that means taking Uber and being in someone else’s home who also has roommates, like he does. He assured me he washes his hands before and after the ride, sits as far from the driver as possible, and sits 6’ apart from his friends. I just wish he’d use Zoom to visit with friends instead of making the actual trip, but he is an adult and can make his own decisions. As a mom, I’ll be concerned.
I do pretty well until I open my computer and look at MSN…Then all the attention grabbing headlines stare straight at me and I freak out. I am not anxious about getting the virus-my faith tells me if this is the way I will go, then I guess this is the way I will go. I’m more anxious about other people, the ones losing their jobs, the ones who will become so depressed that they can’t go on. I’m scared of the suicide rate that might escalate (my brother committed suicide when he had cancer). I am staying busy exercising and baking and texting friends. And I know everything will be okay, it’s just the not knowing when everything will be okay that gets to me.
I think my physical reaction is sleep. I’ve been sleeping a long time, fairly uninterrupted, each night for over a week.
I also have been one that gets out of bed almost after waking. Now I lie there until my back hurts thinking, why bother to get up. I have nothing to do!
It’s starting to get to me too. I have not been in denial, but for some reason it’s hitting me more now. I have actually kind of enjoyed the solitude to date, but I think I’m about tired of it. I have been trying to walk on all of the nice days, sometimes with a friend. I hurt my back moving a piece of furniture so was out of commission for a couple of days. But tomorrow I hope to be back to getting a fair amount of exercise. I think that helps.
I used LegalZoom to do a will and trust (very simple estate) for my parents, no issues with any banks or other companies when everything had to be distributed. If you know who you want to put for the people, then I would recommend LegalZoom.
LIfesytle change is fine with me as a retiree. I do Tai Chi classes online with my regular teachers and that helps. I can take walks along the ocean.
I worry about my 93 year old mother in assisted living who doesn’t understand what is going on, is upset by changes in routine, and constantly wants me to bring gin (!) despite the no visitors policy. I support her by phone several times a day but before this, saw her daily.
But my biggest worry is daughter, just 30, living 3000 miles away in a high rise in So. California. Shares a tiny apartment with a male roommate who is not a friend, including bathroom. He goes out every day to work, still.
She has type 1 diabetes. Any virus quadruples blood sugars and requires very smart management with insulin. We have had terrible hospital experiences. They often don’t allow the pump and have large syringes without precise fractions of units, which are dangerous. Doctors and nurses have no training in type 1.
Long story but due to an accident she has been sedated on a vent in the past and it took months before she could manage blood sugars herself. I had to move in with her for 9 months.
Every morning I think I should jump on a plane but where would I stay to quarantine, and the hospital wouldn’t let me in anyway.
Without the diabetes I would be a lot more relaxed. Trying hard not to catastrophize. My anxiety went up because she is moving down the hall and I wanted her to get a place with two bathrooms, but roommate said no. I offered to pay the difference and roommate still said no.
I have occasional afib and had some the other night so trying to chill. The last thing I need is an ambulance and ER!
Your worries seem reasonable to me. I fight catastrophizing daily and my kids don’t have any known health issues- they are just all far away. My mom lives here and one morning when I went in her room to wake her up, she looked really pale and still. I almost gave myself a stroke before I even touched her. (She was fine, just soundly asleep.)
It’s hard to handle the news- we are seeing and hearing about the most seriously ill people, and those who have died. If you’re prone to anxiety on a good day, the current situation is unbelievably hard to keep in perspective.
My H and I, empty nesters, recently downsized but in our new place we both have separate office space so neither of us is underfoot or getting in the way of the other. On the whole things are good and I feel good about the idea of wearing a mask when outside the house and we’ve been practicing social distancing for weeks now (live in Bay Area). What is killing me though is we thought we were smart buying a new house before putting our old one on the market, and in another life (a month ago?) it was a good idea, but now our old house is on the market and the pending sale is very rocky. In fact I give it a 50-50 chance of falling through in the next 48 hours. So that is where my stress comes from, I’m on a pretty even keel about the rest of it. If that sale falls through is there time for another deal to be reached and closed before it all crashes? We shall see!
@compmom Sorry about your daughter. If you were willing to pay the difference, can you/she afford to have her own place? I can’t imagine how stressful this situation must be for you.
I hit a wall Saturday (an emotional one, not a physical one) and have yet to really snap out of it. I just want to cry. And cry. And cry some more. I feel agitated. And then I get pissed off at myself for these feelings because, really, I have it good. I have my health, my job, a home, food, toilet paper. What am I tripping out about? It’s the same story for me…intellectually I know and I’m aware I’m ok, and fine, but emotionally I’m a mess. I don’t read the news except once a day, in the morning, so I’m not overloading myself with ‘bad news’. I’m taking a watercolor class online this afternoon, and am hoping to apply some artwork to this feeling.
@OneMoreToGo2021 - that was the best 14 seconds of my day!
@Nhatrang thanks. I offered repeatedly to pay for a larger apartment but her roommate refused (male pride?). He wants to stay in the smaller one. I then offered to rent her her own apartment, regardless of cost (I don’t have a lot of money but it would be worth it to me). She now tells me that in the morning she uses the bathroom first and sanitizes first. After he goes to work she waits three hours to go in the bathroom. At night she sanitizes before using. Sounds stressful to me and possibly dangerous but it is out of my hands. She can pay $200 and get out of the lease and leave so that is her fall back, not mine!
I think there is something wrong with me. After the initial first days (when I felt hysterical), I have been coping just fine. I am finding that I have plenty to do in and around the house; I do not even turn on the tv until after dinner!
Today, I made an entire seder dinner for my family and our extended family; everything is boxed up and ready for delivery. So far, I think I’m doing Ok.
Because this is the anxiety thread:
Ever see “Wait until Dark?” Great movie - Audrey Hepburn, Alan Arkin, best jump scare in movie history. If not, maybe don’t watch it until this is over because of the whole anxiety situation. But early on, the bad guy manipulates two supporting characters into leaving their fingerprints all over a crime scene. There’s a terrible moment when they realize they’re screwed and frantically try to erase their prints and finally get that it’s impossible. I’m reminded of this scene every time I go to the grocery store - fear of touching the wrong thing and not being able to fix it. Then I force myself to remember I have hand sanitizer and actual soap. Anxiety makes us think about weird stuff.
This video pretty much made my day and helped with my anxiety…especially by the end when the cast of Hamilton makes a little girl’s dream come true.
Saw that the other day. Loved the little girl’s reaction when she first sees Lin Manuel Miranda.
This has been a bad week. My IBS-D flared up big time. So much for my earlier estimate of how long supplies will last (sorry if TMI.)
The big bright spot yesterday was a text from the pharmacy about a Rx awaiting pick up. I called to find out what it was and learned that my PCP back home had ok’d a Rx for Valium. Bless his heart (that’s a very sincere BHH, not snarky.) I slept nearly eight hours last night.
Thanks @Nrdsb4 - that was awesome. My husband thinks it’s odd that I find myself crying at random times. Seeing the kindness we’ve shown to each other during this terrible time makes me cry “with happiness.” I cry at soap opera weddings and sappy commercials too.