<p>I did not read every post as there is a pretty common theme. I understand where this gentleman is coming from. We all know about family dynamics and they can be pretty odd when you have wealthy people who have artificially supported entitled children. This gentleman having custody of his children says a lot to me, especially so with the lack of involvement by the ex.
Personally I would count on paying for all the daughters educations myself. I appreciate asking for equality for each of his children. If the oldest child takes issue with that then she needs some more maturity. Nobody has to give anyone a dime but what could be better than giving the gift of a wonderful educational experience to a grand child. They should be coming from love not from such a calculated place. None of us know though all the elements of these circumstances. The ex in laws could be very decent people or they could be evil.
If the Grand Parents are decent people they should have a relationship with the OP’s girls. If I have the means many years from now we will help our Grandchildren in every way we possibly can. We all know here how trying it is to attempt to have every educational opportunity available to our children.</p>