<p>I have left my kids alone to manage their own health care for years (they are now 22 and 21). No problem. About a month ago, my daughter (now recovering) got hit by a car while cycling (wear that helmet! she did, and it broke the car windshield). To my astonishment, she has asked me for help arranging medical care and talking to doctors. My feeling here: go with what works today and be prepared to be flexible.</p>
<p>Because of several friends who had nightmare experiences with not being provided info about their college-age children’s health/injuries/treatment, we had a medical power of attorney drawn up and D was more than happy to have it – she very much wanted to have info provided to us and have us in charge of her health care in case she was incapacitated. She has been “in charge” of her appointments and health care for several years (I help when asked) but we’re both happy that we have this document in case we need it. The school has a copy and I have a copy that can be faxed to a provider if/when needed. Will have another drawn up for S when he turns 18.</p>
<p>How does a medical power of attorney differ from a health proxy?</p>
<p>Who at the school would have a POA pertaining to a student’s medical care? The RA? Student Health? Advisor? I’m curious how someone would know a student has a parental POA if he/she is unconscious. Do we need multiple originals or just make a bunch of copies and have S them on hand?</p>
<p>This is a great discussion. We got a bunch of forms from S’s school today (including medical info) and it raised more Qs than As.</p>
<p>We have a medical Power of Attorney on file at son’s school–it is with the University Health Services. We have copies at home, and should the need arise(he visits a dr or hospital off-campus), we will then have the info faxed. Spouse is an attorney and this was filed when son started college two years ago. I check in with the Health Services again last fall just to make sure it was still in son’s file. Glad I did as he had to pay a visit to the Health Services during winter. And, while he handled everything on his own (we did not talk to dr), we did end up having to call for a copy of the bill for insurance purposes. We, of course, received a bill but no explanation of charges for ins purposes. At first, the billing clerk would not talk to me about it, but when I reminded her to check his file for the medical power of attorney, she promptly faxed me the info-no add’l questions asked. Again, it is our position that if we are going to be the responsible party for billing, then we want/need the necessary info. Yes, we expect our son to take charge of his own health issues, which he has at our urging. (the trip to health services this past winter was at our urging and as sick as he was, he should have visited sooner!) I agree that 18 yr olds and + sometimes just don’t have the judgment–they need to learn these life experiences. But, we as parents, need to be there to guide them. Finding the right balance can be difficult!! I strongly urge you to have a medical power of attorney on file with the University Health Services and keep copies for yourself as well. And, with son off to college, we finally bit the bullet and shored up my mother’s paperwork as well since she is elderly. She has a medical power of atty on file with all of her drs, dentist, etc. We also have a business power of atty on file in case she should become unable to take care of her financial affairs. Will is in order as well. We just went thru a thorough checkup of business, etc with her before time gets away from us. She has set up a notebook with all pertinent info regarding drs, banking, insurance, etc. So, I guess you could say that I am part of the sandwich generation as well!</p>
<p>It’s a major PITA. My wife is covered under her union’s health plan (her plan does not cover other family members), but my sons and I are covered under my plan. Yes, we’re married and I’m self employed. But my insurance company won’t recognize her authority to act on behalf of my sons because of that distinction. I was told I can fill out a form to get around this , but three forms later, they still won’t deal with her. I have to travel often for my business and this is very frustrating for both of us!</p>
<p>My son had kidney surgery and was subject to infections. I had releases, a medical power of attorney and about 100 kids had my cell number at his college. I only had to use all this once.</p>
<p>Each situation and each kid is different. One of my kids was ill for the first two years of college before being properly diagnosed with a chronic illness. The learning curve was very steep and I did get involved – I had decades more experience and savvy regarding medical matters than she did and the stakes were too high to do the normal “you’re an adult now, figure it out” type of approach. Her physician (across the country) was really great and understood that an illness at this age might still involve including the parent on occasion. It did throw off the course of normal autonomy and separation for a while, but that’s just what happens when a young person gets sick – lots of things get thrown off and you readjust for the situation. I had no problem letting my older son, who is healthy, handle things on his own. In addition, I had way more time (and a landline) to spend on hold with insurance companies fighting over bills, etc. than she did. In my psychotherapy practice, I have worked with people with severe health issues and I always tell them to take someone with them to the doctor – people do not hear well when they are anxious and doctors tend to slow down and answer more questions when there is a calm partner present. I have one friend who was diagnosed with cancer, who never heard the staging until she listened to a tape recording of the doctor’s appointment. It is usually a good idea for anyone whose situation is complicated to have an involved parter in their healthcare.</p>
<p>My S, who just turned 18 and will be going to college across the country in the fall, will be signing a durable medical power-of-attorney soon. It is my understanding, however, that this only gives me the power to intervene on his behalf if he is incapacitated and unable to make decisions for himself about health care matters. I think this is very important, which is why we are having it drawn up and our S will sign it.</p>
<p>Since our S is still our dependent and is covered under our health insurance, we have the right to review the bills and an obligation to pay them. The health department at his college has said that they will communicate with parents about billing matters.</p>
<p>However, if our S gets sick or has an accident and is conscious, and he wants his doctors to talk with us about his care, he has to sign a release allowing them to do so. The medical POA only comes into play if he is incapacitated.</p>
<p>I’m curious about who makes the decisions if a student is incapacitated and there is no POA. In the olden days, when I was a nurse, “next of kin” was established up front, and they were the ones called and involved. A student without a POA statement - goes to state? College? Whom?</p>
<p>Binx–I guess those issues weren’t thought about when HIPA(sp?) came about! I miss the good old days!!! Life was a lot simpler~</p>
<p>Thanks for all this info. I badgered S2 to get him to have the medical POA signed and notarized as well as the letter giving us access to his records. I just mailed them off to the university health service.</p>