<p>Does anyone have any suggestions on dealing with doctors after your kid is 18 and an adult? The federal privacy law (HIPAA) means that we parents aren’t supposed to be given any medical info, such as diagnoses, without permission. What’s the best way to deal with this? In our case, my D has a full-time job this summer, and it’s hard for her to make a private phone call to discuss this stuff. I would call on her behalf, but I don’t think people will talk to me. At least, that’s been my experience. Any suggestions?</p>
<p>Your D can contact the doctors and authorize them to have access to her medical info.</p>
<p>Authorization technically needs to be in writing. When we were dealing with a hospital/insurance problem, we had D write a letter authorizing full release of all info, both medical and financial, to her parents. We made copies of the letter, and sent one with each communication. It’s important for the letter to include both. It’s frustrating that we are responsible for the bills, but they don’t have to tell us what they are billing us for, so we don’t know if the bill is accurate!</p>
<p>She is having some health problems right now, and when I went with her to the doctor’s office, we asked up front about it. We were told - even though she was there with me at the moment - that she needed to write a letter. However, that was the line at the front office. But in phoning in lab results and such, the office always asks for “D or her parent”. Perhaps they figured out that if I came with her, and D requested that I stay with her throughout the visit, that I was to be included in the communication. Because she never did sign anything, but she did tell them she wanted me with her.</p>
<p>She is quite naiive about a lot of medical stuff. My fault; I’ve always handled it, so she’s never needed to. I’m using this current situation to teach her some things I should have taught her a long time ago.</p>
<p>When I visited the neurologist recently, I was given a form to sign, authorizing them to discuss my health with my spouse and/or others. I refused to sign. They were surprised, and encouraged me to sign. I explained that if things got more complicated, I would revisit the issue. However, I have a nursing degree. My H is NOT good with medical stuff, and not good with phone calls. He would be inclined to take the info and mangle it badly. Or agree to some treatment because the doctor pushed it, and then they wouldn’t have to get my permission.</p>
<p>When I got home, I told him what I did, and he agreed.</p>
<p>When my d went to the doctor (with me), she gave them oral consent to talk to me. They handed her a form, which we read and she signed. No letter, no nonsense.</p>
<p>When I need to talk to a doctor for my mother (yay, sandwich generation!), I call them. They will sometimes then call her and get her oral permission to talk to me, which they then document. (Mom has hand problems and cannot write anymore.) Also pretty easy.</p>
<p>I discussed the Privacy Release form with my son when he entered college. I told him that it would be helpful for him to sign it so we could help in any decisions he might face; but I also urged him to remember that he could revoke that release at will on a case-by-case basis (I believe the form or instructions at his school may have referenced this… not sure). I wanted him to be totally comfortable in approaching the medical world if he needed to for any physical or mental health issue that he might want to keep private.</p>
<p>I hadn’t thought about this issue outside of the University world. I was very pleased that last summer he faced down a health scare on his own, visited his physician, received a specialist referral and (eventually) had the test to determine that he had nothing to worry about. I hadn’t expected that he would navigate such things on his own. He clued us in on the situation just before step 3 (when he was arranging the specialist appointment). So I was further pleased that he shared with us.</p>
<p>I think that S could sign privacy releases case by case, as needed. But that, of course, begs the question of what would happen if he were incapacitated.
DH and I have Durable Medical Powers of Attorney for each other… does anyone think such are appropriate for adult unmarried children?</p>
<p>Yes, all adults should ideally have a POA for health care on file, giving someone the right to make decisions. This includes offspring over the age of 18. Now rounding them up to sign the forms is another task. </p>
<p>JM, I like your approach of letting them know ability to access information can be revoked on a case by case basis, so they can feel comfortable with their privacy, while giving general permission.</p>
<p>At my D’s school, each visit to the health center requires a separate release. So there is no need to revoke on a case by case basis, since the release is automatically case by case.</p>
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<p>Ask your child. I am not sure why you need to be involved. Make an appointment is not a problem and if you child needs to see a doctor they certainly may take them with you.
If you both are waiting for test results - give the child’s cell phone number and they can leave a message. Most kids have cell phones.
As long as your child is not in a coma they can communicate with you.<br>
You have a fantastic opportunity to empower them - if they are confused help them create a list of questions. </p>
<p>My 17 year old goes to her dermatologist, orthopedist, GI and Gyn alone. It makes me crazy that her pediatrician absolutely refuses to see her for a physical, immunization or sinus infection without a parent present - I am waiting for that 18th birthday!</p>
<p>“I am not sure why you need to be involved.”</p>
<p>Because of the billing, primarily, and imho because an 18 or 19 year old most of the time is still too young to make fully informed medical decisions of a major nature for themselves. But the billing is the main reason.</p>
<p>D2 goes oos to college and had an emergency appendectomy her first month there. Fortunately everything turned out fine, but the hospital misdiagnosed her initially and w/o going into all the details, the screw up not only endangered her potentially, it resulted in a billing snafu that took me a year and a half to untangle. Got D to file the paper work to talk to me, still got sent to a collection agency. When I finally got enough documentation, I worked my way up to a supervisor and informed her that in her state there is a 2 year statute of limitation on torts and malpractice. She internally investigated the facts, called back the next day and settled the dispute. That’s why you need to be involved.</p>
<p>I’ve been letting our son handle his own health care. It’s been a mishmash. He follows up on some things, not others. I hear about it when he gets concerned. (“Mom, I’ve been having some chest pains” - this after an EKG had shown an irregular heartbeat, and he was told to follow up with a cardiologist. And didn’t) So after the chest pain phone call, I called our pediatrician, who of course wants him seen. Made one appt. on the day he said he could be here, only to find out that no, he can’t (that’s why HE’S supposed to handle it - aarrgh). He’s going to the pediatrician tomorrow (they’ll keep patients until 21, and he’s not QUITE there), getting recommendations for grown-up doctors locally, and dealing with the heart thing, whatever it may be.</p>
<p>Very difficult long distance, with an adult child. But I’m still mom, and the one they turn to when they get in over their heads. And I’ll always be. But HE will go to the doctor tomorrow, and unless he really wants me there, I won’t be going with him.</p>
<p>BTW, anyone else feeling the “sandwich generation” thing? I spend just as much time on my parents’ health (and other) issues as my kids. Sigh. Oh. That reminds me - DH needs to see an eye doctor, and hasn’t gone yet - sigh.</p>
<p>moms of 3 and 4 - can respond to you both at the same time! My degree is in nursing. So I have always been involved with every single family member’s health. Just like my engineer H is the first person they go to when something breaks. Nobody ever tells them they’re grown ups and should deal with it themselves.</p>
<p>It is not at all unusual for us to get phone calls from family to ask for explanations of test results, opinions of treatment, etc. When we lived in Germany, we got a phone call in the middle of the night. H’s family was sitting down to Thanksgiving Dinner back in the states 96 hours behind Germany), and my father in law fell. Everyone was pretty sure he may have had a stroke, but he refused to go to the hospital until they had called binx in Germany and got her opinion. They woke me up, I mumbled, “Hang up and go to the hospital.” And he did. And so it goes.</p>
<p>So I am sandwiched, and I am involved. But I am trying to teach my kids how to handle things on their own. My boys do quite well, but my freshman D is just learning. She is not used to being sick, has not gone to the doctor much at all since elementary school, and tries to act tough and minimize what is going on. So of course, it doesn’t get dealt with. I am having to teach her that if she wants the doctor to take things seriously, she also must.</p>
<p>Perhaps my post was misconstrued. I am involved - I talk with my kids about their health and their doctor visits. I am trying to teach them to take control of their own health. When something is really wrong and they want someone to go with them, of course I go. I will make their appointments - which makes me crazy!!
I do talk with them about their visits - treatments, tests etc.<br>
Sometimes, depending on the problem, a young adult just needs to go alone.</p>
<p>a couple of years ago an older teen (19 or 20) developed a serious GI problem and was losing weight. I made the appointment and she took her big sister - even though sis knows <em>nothing</em> of health care - lol. She just felt more comfortable. We talked about the visit, tests and treatment. When she had an outpatient minor surgery she had big sis take her again.<br>
My daughter developed a relationship with this dr. (whom I have never met), learned to talk to a dr about her body and what was going on - it all worked out. When her dr called about test results, I figured this was between she and him - it was not my place to try to get the informatioin first.</p>
<p>My youngest does have an advantages as she has had health problems for the past 4 years - including a number of tests and surgeries. She is now the <em>expert</em> - or so I let her think - lol. Now if I can only get her to make her own appointments…</p>
<p>As a note for the other side, be willing to let your children occasionally decide not to tell you. I was in a situation with another student in the dorm who felt that she may have been slipped something in her drink. She was a freshman, and refused to let us call for help until we reassured her that there was no way that her parents would find out what had happened unless she gave express permission. Without that reassurance, she wouldn’t have gotten checked out. Everything turned out fine in the end, but occasionally students make mistakes, and may not want their parents to find out right away.</p>
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<p>^^^^^^^^
Bingo!</p>
<p>Obviously, I have no way of knowing if my kids haven’t told me something. <em>duh</em> </p>
<p>I didn’t mean this to turn into a debate over whether or not parents have a “right” to be involved. I was merely trying to answer the OP’s question about how to obtain permission, and then when it came up about why someone might need to be involved, I tried to answer that.</p>
<p>Thanks to all who posted. I definitely see the value of privacy in health matters as well as in other matters. And having our kids assume responsibility for their health matters is important, too. It’s just hard to find a balance sometimes. And for those of us who aren’t trained medically, it can be tricky to deal with doctors and nurses, interpret the results of tests, and navigate the insurance process. I’m just trying to lend a hand because my daughter asked me to. I appreciate the wisdom of the CC parents!</p>
<p>I think you have the right idea - be ready to help if they ask… I think we also need to ask, from time to time, how they are feeling, physically, and have them really think about the answer. And, if they are having issues, help them determine whether to seek medical help or not. I was the triage nurse around here. I decided if they needed to see the doctor or not. So they aren’t used to doing that for themselves.</p>
<p>RE - the sandwich thing…
We have a letter written that allows medical providers to give us full access to info about our parent’s health. This is NOT the power of attorney for decision-making; this is simply a way to allow all of us to help communicate with our parents as they are less able to remember what doctor said what. (Note to the medical folks - no, we’re not all calling the doc’s. But after a visit with Doc A, brother #1 may call and ask for clarification on something, and after the visit with Doc B, it may be sis. These days we are trying to have someone go with them to all their appointments. It’s pretty difficult. )</p>
<p>My boys are learning to pay attention - I’m going to be asking questions later 
when they go to the doc by themselves, so I don’t think such a letter is necessary for them. </p>
<p>I AM my kids’ medical history at this time. I know vaccinations, surgeries, hospitalizations, specialists, etc., etc. So it’s natural that they turn to me when they have issues. I am almost 48, and I no longer call mom when I go to the doctor. This will happen for my kids, too. We’re just not there yet.</p>
<p>Just to clarify my own position a little, I do agree that college is the time to transition to the child being in charge of their own health, but I also resent this brick wall that HIPPA has thrown up, esplly when it comes to billing (having been burned by it). When the hospital/doctor sends you a bill for thousands and thousands of dollars and then refuses to discuss it with you but expects you to pay it, that is galling. Nevertheless, my girls have taken over their obgyn appts/visits, plus going to student health for everything from a stomach ache to burning themselves with a hair straightener. My S was complaining 2 days ago about going to the pediatrician for his shots for college, but today he got upset he wasn’t going back to the pediatric opthalmologist, but to a new eye doctor! Go figure. So yes, it is a balancing act.</p>
<p>Then add in the sandwich effect. We went through a gut wrenching year watching my FIL die of something that wasn’t diagnosed until 10 days before he died. Added to the not being able to talk to the doctors was none of the children living in the same state as H’s parents, and worrying that the 79 year olds are not hearing what the doctors are saying, and not telling the doctors everything.</p>
<p>fwiw - I personally think it is a good idea in certain situations for either a teen or an adult or an elderly person to bring another person with them to a doctor visit just for an extra set of ears to hear/interpret/remember what happens in the doctor’s office. Also to write down your symptoms and history/meds before the visit so you get it all out, hopefully to get a better diagnosis and better treatment. It would be a good idea to have elderly parents execute those HIPPA forms too. Even if you can just talk to the doc over the phone, it helps.</p>
<p>I’m with mercymom. Our insurance messes everything up and requires numerous phone calls on almost all visits. They won’t talk to daughter as she is not the employee with the coverage. Provider won’t talk to parent as they are not the patient. </p>
<p>I told my daughter, pay attention when you sign in to the doctor’s office. There is one paper you will sign that says that YOU, not your parent, is responsible for the ENTIRE bill. If you want to fight the insruance battle - and good luck on that - be my guest. I hate dealing with them. But I’m not paying the bill unless I can fight for full coverage. I have no real interest in the details - I see this as an admistrative task.</p>
<p>But if you want a good administrator, you have to let them do the job. Otherwise the KID should be paying the bill.</p>
<p>A friend’s 19-year-old daughter was in a terrible car accident while 2000 miles away at college. The hospital would not give the parents information over the phone because of HIPPA. Get the release from your child, keep copies and make sure to have one on file at the college’s health center. It is not just about the billing, it could be about your child’s life.</p>