I really need some advice on homesickness. I am leaving for college in 10 days, This is my third year of law school and I will be 10 hours away from my family again after finishing the second year at home due to pandemic. I am really connected to my family and I don’t want to leave them. I won’t be seeing them more than once a month and I keep crying thinking about the fact that this might be my last 10 days actually living with my family. I never learned how I should deal with this. Anything that might help?
I think we all experience these feelings when we leave familiar places and people, or experience change. I truly think your feelings will pass once you are there. Remember it is just one year. COVID caused a lot of people to go home and sort of regress so it is reenacting leavetaking all over again.
You just gut it out. Its not a whole year. Its 9 months broken up with a month in the middle for Christmas. Try to have a family member visit or you visit home once a month. Take day or weekend trips to interesting places nearby. Meet somewhere in the middle. Get a public interest internship to keep busy and move your focus to someone else’s problems. Getting a girlfriend or boyfriend always helped me the most, if I am being honest.
Your geography doesn’t determine your relationship.
My oldest moved out 3 years ago, he still vacations with us.
Heck, I’m almost 50 and still go on trips with my parents.
College doesn’t mean you lose your family.
Stay busy, and not just with academic stuff. Hang out with friends and other students, participate in school and community activities, get into an exercise routine. Zoom and Face Time with your family, but try to limit the frequency.
At summer camps, they usually don’t let campers call home to speak with their parents for the first whole week (and even after that, it is really, really discouraged) because it takes time for the homesick feelings to die down. Often by the end of the first week, the camper is involved in all the activities and friends and the homesickness has largely gone away. The same is true for some counselors, too.
I’m not saying wait a week to speak with your family, but staying busy and getting involved and maybe resisting the urge to contact your family quite as often as you’d like could be very helpful (especially if you find yourself sad and even more homesick after you speak with them).
I live on the other side of the globe from my parents and still vacation with them!!!
OP, try stretching your wings and give yourself the chance to fly. Life is all about learning and not just academic learning. I’m still homesick and I’m almost 50. The feeling never truly goes away when you are close to your family but it does diminish. Give it a try!!! We’re all rooting for you!
I bet your family is very proud of you!
You should also be proud of yourself. It takes dedication, discipline, and commitment to achieve that goal.
Your family is proud of you and will always be your support system. They will ALWAYS be there for you, so, I know it’s hard, but you really do need to get through it. They will be there for your graduation and they are probably already making plans (along with telling anyone who will listen about their child/sibling in law school).
- Get a network of students and professors to be another support system away from home.
- Keep busy.
- Get involved at school.
- Volunteer at a law clinic with clients who need your help.
- Get a part-time job.
- Get some tea, and have a massage. Take care of your mental and physical health.
One thing that worked for me, because I was just anxious to get out, was a simple purchase:
I bought a pack of yellow stickies and labeled each sticky note with each of the days until I graduated.
On some, I would write, “keep going!”, “your getting there!”, “great job!”, “Almost done!”
Every day, I pulled off one of the stickies and the stack just kept going down. It was a pleasure to ball it up and throw it in the recycle bin every morning; during the last week, I was ecstatic!
Don’t be hard on yourself. Get through it with help. These have been crazy times and everyone knows it.
Do you think they would take you back in after this year? If they would, maybe you can tell yourself that this isn’t your last year living with them after all because it’s possible you’ll get to live at home again afterward? Sometimes reminding myself that a lonely/bad situation is temporary - and having something good to look forward to after - helps me survive it. I think my youngest daughter is going to stay home as long as possible, go to college close by, and come back home after; she’s just a sweet, snuggly kid who really loves being with us. Her dream is to live in a house close to us in our neighborhood. I would be delighted if that happened.
You’re right on that, thank you for the help
Sadly I will be away from my boyfriend too… Thank you for the help though I feel much better!
You’re right, I guess it feels all weird that our relationship will change from seeing each other every day to seeing each other as much as we can but sometimes it could be even more meaningful! Thanks
I had no idea about the camps, that really helps a lot. Thank you for being kind and giving me some advice
That’s sooo sweet!!! Tbh I want to move to another country too but I had my fears about that as well but hearing you say that makes me feel much better, I wish well for you and your family
Thank you so much for all your kind words they mean a lot to me! I definitely will be doing your sticky notes hack I’m in fact more excited now that I’m going to be trying that out.
The way your daughter doesn’t want to leave you reminds me of myself a lot, thank you for sharing your advice with me. I hope you and your family have that great future you dream of!