Dealing with homesickness

<p>I'm a rising junior at a HS. (going to an accelerated residential public school). I'm sure a lot of your kids are already having the same trouble/went through do y'all have any advice for me? I'm trying to keep busy, getting involved and stuffs, but it's not still that easy to forget abt high school town where i could've so easily aced my classes and all the friends...etc. Does calling home frequently help?</p>

<p>Thanks in advance for your advice. :)</p>

<p>When my kids went to boarding school, the first few weeks were difficult--after that, they'd settled in and didn't really feel homesick anymore. Give yourself time. I think calling home more than every few days is harder on your parents than it is on you--I know I worried for hours every time my kids called, and I'd call back and they'd have moved right along.</p>

<p>so, basically I should try to call home less and get more involved w/ the campus and stuffs? Being a HSer, the toughest part is that I always feel like I'd have been in such a better condition if I was in my local HS (w/ perfect grades, clubs, leadership whatnot)</p>

<p>That would be my advice. Call less, join more. Starting a new school as a junior isn't easy, but most kids will be happy to make friends with you if YOU make the effort. Even if you are not naturally outgoing pretend that you are. I had to change schools every two or three years growing up. I know it can be done. </p>

<p>Educationally, even though you may get slightly lower grades in your new school, remember that most colleges look at grades in context. They know your school has higher standards. Remember also - it's about the education. Are you learning new things? That's what really counts. You should get to college much better prepared than you would have if you'd stayed at your old school.</p>

<p>my two older kids went to good boarding schools and thrived; if they were homesick, I didn't hear about it. Child #3 went for a year, lost way too much weight and was sick all the time, and came home to local public HS. Child #4 went away for a year, thrived, but decided (like you I guess) that the local public HS would be easier, less work, and just more comfortable all the way around -- came home and loafed. So ... I don't have an answer. I guess you have to figure it out. (The two older kids with the top-flight prep education are very glad they went that route, but child #3 is doing just fine in her college of choice.)</p>

<p>IMO...if you want to call home, call appear to be a person who has the maturity to admit they want support/help, because you are here in CC asking good questions. You have also identified ways to overcome the feelings of homesickness by becoming involved in your surroundings, making new friends, challinging yourself academically. Pat yourself on the back.</p>



<p>The good part about beginning grade 11 at a boarding shcool is that you are not trying to fit into a school with a local population who has been friends all their lives. Every one is fom somewhere else, and most are interested in having friends.</p>

<p>I would say, acknowledge that you could be making an amazing show of awards & honours at your old school but then realise you are getting a better education at the new one. Know that most Adcoms will realise the better is possible that instead of Mr. #1 val you could be Mr. #20 who knows more. It is possible being #1 might get you in somewhere that #20 does not, even with a better education, but if you can find YOUR passion- a sport, an art, a subject and go with it, not for university admissions purposes, but for yourself and your own edification, you will then present a better application than being tha cliche public HS val with 23 APs and no self-knowledge of who you really are and what oyu want out of life.</p>

<p>The boarding school ought to be offering you all sorts of opportunities you would not have at the old school but only you can elect to jump in and experience them- try anything of interest and find a passion. One of my Ds is an athlete, a 3 sport varsity type in HS, but it was spring of grade 11 when her school added a new sport she had never tried; she tried it, loved it, change her entire university app list to schools with that sport and plays it now for her flagship public. So, her passion has always been sports, but her best sport did not show up until April of grade 11, but she still showed a passion on apps, because it was real. Popular gossip would not have one change sports that late, but my D did not care about her apps, she cared about what she liked.</p>

<p>Try things and find what you love, be interesting to Adcoms because you are interested in life.</p>

<p>Once you have jumped into the experiences, you will likely feel less homesick. Some people hold onto their old life longer than others- some go to university and never look back to home, others stay in touch with old friends whilst making new ones. So, do not be embarassed to stay in touch if that is your style.</p>

<p>You might help your poor mum by letting her know when you are venting and she only neds to listen & when you are asking for help, suggestions and answers. Also, if you call angry/whinging/etc. you might follow up with an email or text to let her know when everything is fine again and you are fine, but she is still worrying at home ;)</p>

<p>THANKS YOU ALL SOO MUCH! I feel so better now! I mean I've no problem getting involved and try to overcome homesickness but when I hear my younger brother crying at the fact that most of his siblings are at college/boarding's at that time that severely made me feel bad. :( Anyway, thanks a lot again, for such great advices....I'm sure that four hours of sleep per night must be rewarding and that's what I'm trying to look forward to for next two years. Since I'm on my first week here yet, it's kinda really overwhelming. I'm sure it'll be doable if only I think I deserve to be here.
I really appreciate all your comments. :)
Anymore would be appreciated too!</p>

I'm sure that four hours of sleep per night must be rewarding


<p>oooh, I forgot about that -- yeah, the kid who went to the very-demanding prep did have to learn to survive on four hours of sleep; I think the school likes to keep everybody exhausted so they won't get into mischief (sex, drugs, rock'n'roll).</p>

<p>send your little brother post cards, cartoons, whatever, he will feel less alone</p>

<p>email him some jokes and if he IMs maybe set up a time once a week to chat for 10-15 minutess online</p>


<p>I was a new 11th grader at boarding school as well. I also agree that is good advice to get as involved in campus life as much as possible without clinging to your hometown. Looking back on my two years at boarding school, I regret how many times I went home on the weekends (I was a local boarder)- my departures delayed my integration into campus life (as most social events were taking place on the weekends), and when I got back to school, I thought about being home too much. That's not to say it's not okay to take a break and get off campus for a bit, but try not to make it a habit.</p>

<p>Asifkhan: I didn't mean to sound as if it was just a matter of doing more stuff... I actually meant: "you'll feel better in a few weeks" and the getting involved will be something you're glad you did. But it does take a few weeks.</p>

<p>As for not getting enough sleep, you will learn to work more effectively. One of the things I noticed with both my kids is that, because they came from public schools where the work was easy for them, it took them a while to learn how to study effectively/efficiently but not LONG. But that will take some time. Find the seniors who make it look easy, and then watch what they do. THey don't go to the library and fool around--they go to the library and start working immediately.</p>

<p>By the end of boarding school, both my kids could sit down and write a ten-page paper in about 6 hours. I see public school kids who think a 10-page paper should take a semester!</p>

<p>You will settle in, it will take time, and you will look back and be astonished by how much you learned (and I would expect you'll be glad for all that)... but right now it's going to be a few weeks before everything begins to come together. Good luck and keep us posted.</p>

<p>As for your little brother, you might want to let your parents know he's feeling lonely.</p>

oooh, I forgot about that -- yeah, the kid who went to the very-demanding prep did have to learn to survive on four hours of sleep; I think the school likes to keep everybody exhausted so they won't get into mischief (sex, drugs, rock'n'roll).


<p>That's most likely true! </p>

<p>I feel like I am rather not doing what I'm supposed to do: manage my time (actually I'm doing worse currently, just being distracted all the time) And then, u've got hours in between the classes which MUST be utilized! I think I'm getting handle of it now. :) </p>

<p>dmd77: I'll definitely then update my status after a month or so! let's see how fast it takes me to habituate to the college-like schedule, workload, lifestyle. ;)</p>

<p>Just an anecdotal remark here.....while SOME private schools and boarding schools are more rigorous, with more work and a tougher grading scale, I want to say that my D transfered after 9th grade from a supposedly tough private day school and entered a large public school that is recognized for its rigorous academics and strong athletics and state champion orchestra....and was SHOCKED at how hard the public school was in comparison, how tough the teachers were..and unforgiving. She made it through, completing 9 AP courses (all 4's and 5's), and "survived the jungle". In the private school she had a class of 80, with about 10 kids being competition for A's. In the public school, she had a class of 450 and about 100 kids competing for the top grades. Moreover, the public school was on a 7 point grading scale that was STRICTLY enforced. The private school was on a 10 point scale and they fudged and winked a lot of the time to "help the top students get into their college of choice." </p>

<p>What happened? You guessed it! The public school kids did pretty well in college admissions for the most part, but many had to settle for state schools or second tier schools (out of top 50). The private day school kids did extremely well.....with 5 out of the top 10 getting into Ivy League and the other 5 into top 25 schools. Window dressing and fluff and puff works with admissions officers.....</p>

<p>BUT.....I wouldnt trade the quality of education and overall life experience my D had in public school for the other. The private school kids all turned out to be spoiled rotten (with far WORSE reports of drinking and misbehavior....they have money!) The public school kids have been through a lot and can handle a lot and are well prepared for college and all its pressures and distractions.</p>

<p>I guess some of the Ivy League schools like pampered poodles.</p>

<p>As for the homesick kid, I say, good luck.....but focus on MATURITY.</p>

<p>friedokra, I'm sure we can find many other examples like the one you describe, and it does seem terribly unfair.
But, first of all, the OP reports attending a public (accelerated) high school, not a private school.
Also, top boarding schools don't fall into the "fluff and puff" category. Take a look at the Web sites for Andover (Philips Academy) or Exeter or Deerfield or .... Admissions are based on grades, test scores, and ECs, and are just as selective as top colleges. The course offerings rival those of the better colleges. Students' schedules are extremely rigorous and expectations very high.
Both of my "preppie" kids report now, as adults, having been required to work much harder in HS than they did later at university. The child who attended the tippy-top prep did indeed learn to survive on four hours of sleep a night, and it wasn't because he was slow or disorganized -- it was because of the extreme workload on top of required competitive sports and required community service. He reports it was well worth it, but he's a very smart, focussed guy.</p>

<p>Question - whose idea was it for you to attend this school, yours or your parents or combination? Eons ago when I attended a top notch boarding school for high school, I was overcome by homesickness, especially sophomore year. My parents came over and we had a long talk. They very much wanted me to attend and I am sure that had a big influence on the final decision (which the basically left up to me). I decided to stay. Academically it was great (100% of my class went to college, many admitted to the first classes of women accepted to Princeton and Yale) but I won't lie - those 4 years were not the MOST wonderful of my life. My years there were OK, I met one of my best friends there, and I don't regret it. However, it did make going away to college a whole lot easier that it did for lots of people I met in college.</p>

<p>I also went to a boarding school for the latter part of HS. It was a good small private school in New England, but not one of the prep ivy equivalents. It was certainly a challenge in many ways. Academics were harder than those at my public hs, it was tough breaking into a communite where many of the kids actually had known each other for many years (the school also operated a private day middle school). However, I came to really enjoy my experience and looking back I am incredibly happy that I decided to go (merit scholarship so no $ on my family's behalf). If anything, going to boarding school made me realize what I value in an academic community and this helped me identify good college matches. Before boarding school I was of the impression that I wither wanted a big ivy/brand name research institution or a big city school. However, after going to a HS with teachers from mainly LACs, living and thriving in a small community in a small town, I decided that I wanted to continute this lifestyle through college and ended up applying only to LACs. </p>

<p>Furthermore, once I started college I really found that having experienced boarding life before was a huge asset. I didn't have to cope with the separation anxiety that many of the public hs and day school kids went through, I knew how to keep a tidy room, do laundry, navigate a campus, manage a schedule of ECs, academics and fun, how to approach administrators on my own, etc. (my parents are very hands-off and only came to my boarding school once--for graduation). My experiences certainly made the first year of college a whole lot easier. If I hadn't gone to boarding school I would probably currently find myself at a place like Columbia, Georgetown or U. Chicago--a bad fit. I will probably end up in a big city eventually anyways but I am so happy to be spending college in a small town with few distractions where I can focus on growing my mind and my social network. My $.02</p>

<p>Friedokra.....celloguy already clarified the points, and I'd just want to add a few to it. </p>

<p>Residential Public High School (one of the best in the US...makes the Newsweek Elite Public HS every year).</p>

<p>COMPLETELY free of cost. Admission based solely upon academics, ECs, sports, SAT (etc. just like a college). </p>

<p>So, in this case, people from all over the state attends the school with full qualification. </p>

<p>csleslie51: actually it was a decision more emphasized by my parents and siblings (older ones, who r HYPS minded! :D not saying that I had no interest!)
HOWEVER, I DO want to attend this school, because I care about an awesome education too, which my RURAL HS would hardly be able to fulfill. I don't think I have made the wrong decision yet as suggested by most of the posts in this thread. :) As KJ said, I too believe that the transition to college would be really smooth and not-so-depressing and stressful. </p>

<p>I also want to explore what kind of college I EXACTLY wanna go! I'm trying to take all the most diverse classes I can take (taking care that I don't look wayyy too careless and random infront of Adcoms suggesting I may have no passion!) and see what I really love to do!</p>

<p>Uhh, get over it? Your almost a legal adult, if you can't get past the stage where you count on and need your parents for every little thing in your life I don't know that you should be at an elite prep school in the first place.</p>

<p>bigp9998, you're lost in the weeds.</p>