Dealing with nosy parents while commuting?

<p>I am going to be starting college this year and will be commuting. I've always been quite studious and keep to myself. Aside from going to the library and borrowing books, I am in my room either studying or reading. I don't and never had any friends or any form of a "social life". It hasn't bothered me at all, really. My parents were always fine with this until senior year when I told them I'll be skipping both senior prom and high school graduation. They are a complete waste of my time and I'd rather spend that time doing something more productive. Now, my parents believe I have some disorder after reading nonsense online and are trying to persuade me to see a therapist. They also keep bothering me by telling me to "get some friends" and go out and have "fun" like most teenagers. </p>

<p>Are my parents just going through a phase and will it wear off eventually? I don't want to go live on campus due to the expenses and keep debt as minimal as possible. For those with nosy and overbearing parents, how do/did you deal with it?</p>

<p>I, too skipped prom (too expensive) and wanted to skip graduation, but was forced to go by my parents. I even secretly took back the honor cords for a refund and gave them back the money (seriously, $40 for four honor cords?). I opted out of getting a yearbook my junior and senior year...you sound a little like me.</p>

<p>I would just ignore them honestly, if you're okay living life the way you are. Stay in your room and lock the door if you have to. Put in some earphones and hit those books. Haters gon' hate.</p>

<p>This has to be a troll post. For the record, not having friends/not making an effort is a big sign in a lot of psychological disorders. Not saying you have one, but it's not at all surprising your parents brought it up.</p>

<p>
[quote]
They also keep bothering me by telling me to "get some friends" and go out and have "fun" like most teenagers.

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If you think that's "nosy" or "overbearing" you really need a reality check.</p>

<p>edit: I too skipped prom, but I went to a tiny all girls school. BIG difference.</p>

<p>Johnson, what about the financial aspect though? I skipped prom even though I had a girlfriend because I didn't want to spend the money on it.</p>

<p>uwrobi- how is that in any way related to the op? The op said he/she skipped those things because he could have been "more productive" - not for financial reasons. (But as I said, I personally agree that prom is highly overrated and I didn't go to my own prom).</p>

<p>Some people just really don't care about the traditional "high school experience" I guess. There's nothing wrong with that. He also stated that he's living at home to keep expenses down, so he's obviously concerned about saving money, and it could have been one of the reasons he opted not to go to prom.</p>

<p>OK, for students that want to skip prom, I get that, I skipped mine. And cost is an issue. Graduation on the other hand is just as much for your parents as it is for you. Kind of like having a 1st birthday party for a kid. It is a right of passage FOR THE PARENTS, who made it through the first year! LOL The 1 year old could care less! Gradution is a time that parents can be proud, and know that their kid made it through another stage, and they played a part in it. Enjoy the fact that they care.</p>

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[QUOTE]
I, too skipped prom (too expensive) and wanted to skip graduation, but was forced to go by my parents. I even secretly took back the honor cords for a refund and gave them back the money (seriously, $40 for four honor cords?). I opted out of getting a yearbook my junior and senior year...you sound a little like me.</p>

<p>I would just ignore them honestly, if you're okay living life the way you are. Stay in your room and lock the door if you have to. Put in some earphones and hit those books. Haters gon' hate.

[/QUOTE]

Fortunately, for me, I had a choice. I don't see graduating high school as this great big achievement. You don't see people holding ceremonies when they get promoted at their jobs, so why should high-school be any different? </p>

<p>I hope that works, but they seem to not be letting up at all. I am going to have a very busy first year, and I don't want to also deal with my nosy parents bothering me all the time.</p>

<p>
[QUOTE]
This has to be a troll post. For the record, not having friends/not making an effort is a big sign in a lot of psychological disorders. Not saying you have one, but it's not at all surprising your parents brought it up.</p>

<p>edit: I too skipped prom, but I went to a tiny all girls school. BIG difference.

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If you think I'm a troll, you are free to not respond. What psychological "disorders" may that be? I am happy with my life and have no intention of harming other people or breaking the law. Just because I am not out partying or getting drunk like most people my age does not imply I have a psychological disorder. Nothing wrong with partying or getting drunk, but I prefer to spend my time with things that interest me.</p>

<p>They were fine with it until you didn't really start growing and expanding your universe. </p>

<p>My DS did not go to Prom (didn't want to)...only did Grad because he respected how much it meant to us (parents). He doesn't have a lot of friends but is friendly, does activities alone and with others but not all the time.</p>

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[quote]
Just because I am not out partying or getting drunk like most people my age does not imply I have a psychological disorder.

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Sad that you think that's what "most" people do at your age. It's not. </p>

<p>My DS also likes to spend his time with things that interest him, but if all he did was stay home and go to school, I would be concerned too. Be glad they care...</p>

<p>Why not just make a compromise? Go to graduation, but not prom. Your parents want to see you graduate - as someone said, I think part of the whole draw of graduation is that your family gets to see you moving on to the next part of your life. You can hate on it, but it's for them as well. </p>

<p>As for later on, why not go to one or two social events when you get to college (just like club meetings or whatever) to placate your parents, and if you don't like them, don't go anymore. Your parents can't say you didn't try.</p>

<p>I'll never be able to understand anyone who doesn't want to have fun or have any friends, but that's just me. I would be very sad living that life, though I know some people enjoy it, and that's okay.</p>

<p>I like the above comment about not growing and expanding your universe. Why not try a few things to expand it? If you don't like them, I'm sure your parents would be understanding.</p>

<p>I doubt it's a troll, I can kinda understand where he's coming from since I used to be like that.</p>

<p>I can't say I have much advice for you since my parents aren't nosy, but hopefully you find a compromise.</p>

<p>
[QUOTE]
Some people just really don't care about the traditional "high school experience" I guess. There's nothing wrong with that. He also stated that he's living at home to keep expenses down, so he's obviously concerned about saving money, and it could have been one of the reasons he opted not to go to prom.

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Exactly. I was never interested in high school activities or socializing, just my grades and school. </p>

<p>Expenses were definitely a variable in my decision, but even if it were free, I still wouldn't attend. What would I do there except awkwardly stand around?</p>

<p>It is very unusual not to have any friends at all, ever. There must have been someone else in your high school who liked the same music, or didn't party, etc. I am surprised your parents are just becoming concerned now that you didn't have play dates when you were young, or at least one friend as you got older. When you avoid social situations, it could be because of underlying anxiety at the core, or some other reason that causes you to be the way you are. I've got news for you. Unless you are planning a career that takes place in a closet somewhere, you are probably going to be required to work with others, on projects, as part of a team, or just in the regular work environment. Sometimes that includes chit-chat, lunch with others in the workroom, etc. If you can't or don't function well working with others, employers and colleagues will doubt you. Maybe not fair, but it happens. People are social beings, and the world is full of experiences where working well with others, knowing social skills, etc, is important. Could you have aspergers?, because just from your post, it sort of sounds like that could be a possibility. It's not bad, it would just explain why you avoid people. Do you feel comfortable around other people, or sort of like you are completely different from them, and can't relate to them? Do you feel caring and concerned about other people, or only interested in yourself? It can be a very lonely life when you function always alone.</p>

<p>I went to graduation but I didn't get grad pictures because i decided I was going to go to college then they can make a big deal out of it. But ur parents care, they're concerned. You should be happy. I have friends I don't talk to them as much as they do each other, I go out but not as much as they do. It won't kill you to at least make a friend or two.</p>

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[QUOTE]
They were fine with it until you didn't really start growing and expanding your universe.</p>

<p>My DS did not go to Prom (didn't want to)...only did Grad because he respected how much it meant to us (parents). He doesn't have a lot of friends but is friendly, does activities alone and with others but not all the time.

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Quite the contrary, actually. I feel I have grown personally over the years, but that may not fit your definition of "expanding your universe". I am not an unfriendly person, it is just my interests are not shared by the vast majority of the people my age, unfortunately. </p>

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Sad that you think that's what "most" people do at your age. It's not.</p>

<p>My DS also likes to spend his time with things that interest him, but if all he did was stay home and go to school, I would be concerned too. Be glad they care...

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</p>

<p>That is what I have personally observed. Doing drugs or getting drunk seems to be quite popular amongst my peers.</p>

<p>Well what are your interests? I guarantee that you can find at least one club related to an interest of yours at your uni unless it's a very outlandish interest.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Quite the contrary, actually. I feel I have grown personally over the years, but that may not fit your definition of "expanding your universe". I am not an unfriendly person, it is just my interests are not shared by the vast majority of the people my age, unfortunately.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Agree with RioBravo. Your universe expansion wasn't apparent to your family so they will be concerned. If they weren't, I would be concerned about them. </p>

<p>If you want them to stay out of your business, move out. Otherwise accept that they care and have some meaningful discussions with them about your life so they know how you feel. </p>

<p>You may not like people's advice...but you did post.</p>

<p>Majjestic, would you really be happy if they didn't care? The truth Is that people always find reasons to be unhappy, they like to have a sad story. As apparent since you posted about it. What if they didn't care? You wouldn't truly be happy. If tables were turned there is a high possibility that you might complain that they didn't care about you. I'm just explaining my point of view. Please do not take it offensively.</p>

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Why not just make a compromise? Go to graduation, but not prom. Your parents want to see you graduate - as someone said, I think part of the whole draw of graduation is that your family gets to see you moving on to the next part of your life. You can hate on it, but it's for them as well.

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Erm...I've already graduated. </p>

<p>
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As for later on, why not go to one or two social events when you get to college (just like club meetings or whatever) to placate your parents, and if you don't like them, don't go anymore. Your parents can't say you didn't try.

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The problem is, the school I'll be attending is really competitive. So, if I want to maximize my grades in first year, I'm going to have to study many hours per day. Since I'll be competing with my classmates for grades, while I waste time at these social events others will get ahead of me by using that time to study. It is a very cutthroat school. </p>

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[QUOTE]
I'll never be able to understand anyone who doesn't want to have fun or have any friends, but that's just me. I would be very sad living that life, though I know some people enjoy it, and that's okay.

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"Fun" is a relative term. I find enjoyment in different things than most of my peers, but I am not a depressed person. I am actually quite content and happy with my life.</p>