Dear Parents, from the Black Sheep (2)

Parent Cafe
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<p>**Old thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/57137-dear-parents-black-sheep.html[/url][/b]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/57137-dear-parents-black-sheep.html**&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Dear parents, </p>

<p>Over four years ago I wrote a little letter to the forum titled “Dear Parents, from the Black Sheep.” I appreciated all the support I received and wanted to give a bit of an update. </p>

<p>Since that letter, I went to my little-known college. A few bumps and frustrations, but I learned a heck of a lot about myself. I bounced around fields to the exasperation of my parents but worked with a lot of interesting people. With pink streaked hair still, I worked with prison inmates, researched TV shows, did experiments in bars, and studied medicine, law, ethics. </p>

<p>Then when my mother gave up hope that I would ever make something out of my haphazard course of study, I applied to grad school. I’ll honestly tell you I didn’t have amazing stats, but I did have concrete research interests and mentors who believed in me. I was accepted to 6 doctoral programs and two master programs. My mother cried happy tears (which quickly reversed to irritation when I told her I rejected a top school because the program was too rigid and the advisor wasn’t nice.) </p>

<p>I’m in a doctoral program as the youngest student with the weirdest CV. I still think and do things differently from my cohort (which is slightly lonely), but I’m excelling. I have projects that I love and have met people who can spend hours dissecting a fun, random subject with me.</p>

<p>So again, I’ll say what I said last time. Be happy for the black sheeps. They’ll find their way. </p>

<p>“Straight lines aren’t for us, we like to careen in late with chocolate in hand, all big smiles.”</p>

<p>Yours Truly, </p>

<p>A Black Sheep who has grown a bit</p>

<p>PS: Pink hair is gone, but one day when I get tenure it’ll return.</p>

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<p>I wasn’t around back then, but congratulations!</p>

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<p>Oh dear. Memory lane seeing some of the old posters.<br>
I didn’t see the thread the first time around but congratulations, AtC.</p>

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<p>I remember that post! congratulations! The world needs people with personality.</p>

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<p>What a great update. Didn’t read the letter the first time around, but it just goes to show parents (some of whom it will be incredibly timely) that there is more than one way to get through life, and quite honestly, for the most part, once you get to where your going, you’ll wish you had taken more time and had a better time getting there.</p>

<p>Congrats!</p>

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<p>aroundthecorner - As a parent of a “black sheep”, I want to say thanks. I really needed this today.</p>

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<p>The world would be a mighty dull place with no black sheep.</p>

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<p>I think I may have missed the original posting, but as the parent of two very “creative” thinkers, I certainly have experienced moments of exasperation at what we in in our house have always called, “taking the curvy mountain road instead of the freeway.” Thank you for the update. It is a great reminder for us parents to appreciate the path our children are on, even when we have no idea where that path may lead them.</p>

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<p>This is what you call…" Keeping it real" I love it. Very inspiring. Make that hair whatever color pleases you.</p>

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<p>ATC:</p>

<p>The world needs people that are slightly (or more) off center. It’s one of the things that I have tried to instill in my kids- it’s ok to be different, the beaten path is just that- beaten. Although now that I have a soon to be college bound son… I can understand my parents consternation.</p>

<p>Congratulations on making choices that work for you. And yes, off colored hair can be done- I work for the government and showed up one day with subtle purple streaks in my hair… I thought for sure my boss would “suggest” a new color, but no he didn’t. Just told me to read a book called “wierdo’s in the workplace” by John Putzier. Boy am I glad he understands that it’s OK to not fit in the mold and be different.</p>

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<p>Thank You</p>

<p>we need reminders from time to time.</p>

<p>Keep us posted on your journey, please.</p>

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<p>Wonderful to read. As my oldest is now a sophomore, I’ve struggled between wanting to shove him down the safer path and letting him follow his own crooked path. It’s nice to hear the other side of the story. I have a secret fear that ten years from now he’ll say,“Why didn’t you make me do something practical?” In the end, it just felt wrong to be telling him what his future was supposed to be. I didn’t want the weight of that on my shoulders.</p>

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<p>congrats!!! we need more black sheep in this world</p>

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<p>I sure wish I’d been more adventurous. It didn’t come naturally, though. I think I was born a worrier.</p>

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<p>I have four children, all of whom are in a state of change and trying to find themselves. It is hard to watch. Your post today confirms what my husband has been trying to assure me of. It isn’t easy on the kids going through it but it is hard for the parents to watch. I am so happy to hear that you have found your path and are doing so well. Congratulations to you!!!</p>

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<p><a href=“which%20quickly%20reversed%20to%20irritation%20when%20I%20told%20her%20I%20rejected%20a%20top%20school%20because%20the%20program%20was%20too%20rigid%20and%20the%20advisor%20wasn’t%20nice.”>i</a> *</p>

<p>Sounds like good reasons to me.
Congratulations.</p>

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<p>Thanks for taking the time to update us. You remind me of many of my young friends, and of myself. I predict that you’ll enjoy more joy, fulfillment, and success in life – however one defines success – than will many people who chose more traditional paths.</p>

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<p>I remember this original post. OP, that was so sweet of you to come back and report on your progress. You will never know how many people have read your stories and had it affect their thinking.</p>

<p>Thank you for sharing, congrats on the PhD and stay the crooked course!</p>

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<p>I wasn’t on CC back then, but I am pleased to hear that things are working out so well … and you are still “yourself.” My S, a senior, is a black sheep, as well. I just read a paper he turned in for class that explained how he had a difficult time fitting in at his middle school - and how the experience helped him to become who he is today. It was so cool! I try hard to give him the space to become who he feels he should be. I hope he finds the kind of happiness you have found when he grows up!</p>

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<p>Thank you for all the comments! It’s nice to hear from the parents who read the original letter, too!! :slight_smile: </p>

<p>Again, I am so glad this forum has parents who support black/gray-ish sheeps. As college application time rolls around again, I consistently see examples of parents and students who get so immersed in the process that they forget to enjoy themselves or to see this as an exploratory time to find their own life path. </p>

<p>In fact, I just spoke with a student who is enrolling in a program about fire safety/evacuation because it is a top program and pays well right out of college. I asked him what was the fun in that. :frowning: Maybe if fire escape signs floated his boat, but honestly, he’s just a 17 year old boy who should pay more attention to the fact that his graphic designs are amazing (parents say no to design school).</p>