My mother stopped giving me presents three or four years ago. Probably the year my Dad passed away. In quick succession she had breast cancer, Parkinson’s and understandably was pretty depressed. DH’s family gave presents until Mom’s dementia made it impossible. Her last year of presents was pretty weird.
There is no excuse for crashing someone’s wedding. It IS stealing. And don’t try to spin it as some kind of protest against bourgeoisie institutions or sticking it to the high SES.
Considering you once said that a spouse grabbing a twenty out of his wife’s wallet without letting her know makes him a “thief,” I’m surprised you don’t see the glaring discrepancy in your behavioral standards here.
The letter writer is hurt. I get it. But being punitive about this would likely not get the desired result.
So I can grab someone’s dinner plate off the table at a restaurant, eat it and call it a protest and all is well?
@cap, only if the person from whom you are stealing is even remotely affluent, has politically conservative leanings, is an authority figure of any kind, has some kind of perceived social standing, or has a pointy head.
I SMH when people brag about this sort of behavior or pretend it was youthful hi-jinks.
Probably when you start calling it “perfunctory gift giving”.
I will attempt to give gifts until I am no longer able. It is one of my love languages.
It’s perfunctory when it carries with it the expectation of pricy gifts from a lengthy Want List, given on a designated day.
I give generous ad hoc gifts all year to family members as I happen to come across items I know they would love.
If you have the problem of “expectation of pricy gifts from a lengthy Want List” you have other problems.
I’m happy–just bought D a nice sweater that both she and I thought looked amazing on her at Banana Republic. To me, it’s easier to find things when we’re together and can see how things fit than buying a ton of things I have to return because the cut or size just isn’t want I hoped. I have cut back on buying things–H and I prefer experiences and fewer higher quality things than lots of little “things.”
Today’s contact from DD#2:
DD: Mom, the coach wants my SSN to pay me for the clinic I worked this week. Should I give it to her?
Me: If you want to be paid.
DD: Oh. What is it?
This was a 30 second call. Who says a girl doesn’t still need her mother?