<p>I am trying to be good about this but my dearest friend of 20 years is moving to a retirement community about 2 hours away. Our hearts are breaking and we keep on saying that we will figure it out, but the reality is that I will rarely see her.</p>
<p>Now she lives down the street and we see each other often, day and evenings out. She does not see well at night and I do all the driving so meeting half way for a night out is not a possibility once she moves. I work so daytime is difficult…</p>
<p>So I ask my fellow CCers, how have you coped and made it work when your dearest friend moves away?</p>
<p>I haven’t experienced this yet, but I would feel terrible if my bff from the street moved away. I used to check her driveway in the am to see if her husband left before calling. Our kids are well into their 20’s now and I dread the day that we won’t be neighbors.</p>
<p>I think you will need to make a tremendous effort to stay in touch. Perhaps even scheduling some annual get togethers. You share a common history and I am sure you will figure out how to stay connected!</p>
<p>Some retirement places have guest parking–maybe you can have sleepovers once a month or something over the weekend after she moves so you can keep in touch. Skype is also a great way to stay in touch. If you have smart phones, facetime can also be another way to keep in touch. Could she sleepover at our place sometimes too? Seems like there are many ways to make things work. I’m sure you and she will figure out a way to keep your close friendship.</p>
<p>My friend from middle school moved from HI to LA. 40 years later, we’re still very close, as are our husbands and kids. With phones and email it is easier than ever to stay in touch if people make an effort. We have gone on several 3 week vacations together and I fly to see her in LA at least once a year, often more. She has flown to Hawaii several times as well.</p>
<p>We became friends with our dearest friends when they moved next door back in 1998. Our kids were best friends, we were best friends, we practically lived at each other’s houses.</p>
<p>They moved about an hour away, still in the same state, in 2006. We saw them a few times at first, then once a year, and we haven’t seen or heard from them since 2011.</p>
<p>It was tough at first, you make adjustments to them not being around anymore. Now I rarely think about them — it was this thread that jolted my memory.</p>
<p>It’s difficult. My neighbor and I were great friends. When she left, it hurt. She’s now one of my many long distance friends, and this time the void has not filled.</p>
<p>it is very difficult. When I was a new mom, I met a wonderful friend in a Gymboree class. We hit it off immediately. When her H was later transferred to another state we both cried and cried. We still see each other occasionally and talk by phone, but it’s not the same. :(</p>
<p>{{{ hugs }}}</p>
<p>Two hours away is a pain, but can be manageable for monthly visits. Can you each meet halfway in a nice city somewhere and spend the day?</p>
<p>2 hours does not sound too bad, though not the same as living down the road. My best friend now lives about 12 hours away. She moved about 15 years ago. We are still very close and talk on the phone often. Sometimes every day, sometimes it might go a week or two. Depends on what is going on in our lives. Seeing each other has been sporadic - was mostly about once a year. Then my husband got a hard to treat and low chance of survival cancer and she was one of the first people I called. She insisted we consider M D Anderson (she lives in Houston) and when we ultimately did, she gave us the keys to her house and made her home ours. We spent a lot of time with her and she was literally a life saver. Now we are back to only seeing each other a couple of times a year but are closer than ever. I do wish she lived down the road though.</p>
<p>It’s difficult to have a friend move but two hours is not very far. It would be an easy day trip, if only possible on the weekend, or she could drive and stay over with you. The thing is, it will take an effort but it’s certainly possible to keep in close touch. One of my very closest and longterm friends moved to California. That is much more difficult to arrange visits. Two hours would be nothing in comparison.</p>
<p>Sorry this has happened. Most of my friends live elsewhere. I do feel that Facebook keeps me more connected with people. The other day I noticed that my good CA friend was on FB, I started a chat to ask if I could call, and we chatted, so it helps that way too.</p>
<p>I have three close women friends and none live close to me. My closest friend is an hour and a half away and I very seldom see her. We just talk by phone a couple times a week. The other two live in other states and I talk to them regularly, but not so often. </p>
<p>Maybe you can talk by phone and then see each other once or twice a month on weekends. True close friends are rare in life and it’s worth the effort to hang on to those friendships. My father-in-law, age 99 1/2, told me you only have a couple of real friends in your lifetime.</p>
<p>I’ve had the worst luck losing friends both to death and to moving away. There was a time period when I was constantly in mourning from someone moving away. It’s hard and I feel for you. At least two hours is doable once in a while. Keep in touch by phone or email or become good old fashioned pen pals.</p>
<p>My two BFs in this town are both planning to move this year. One is retiring and moving across the country, I hope she stays in touch, but I don’t know. The other one is moving part time a day away, but will be coming back periodically, keeping her house. She already travels for work so I know we will make it a priority to connect as we already do, it will just be more special times and less day to day. Of course, she was initially a special times friend and I loved getting to know her better when we segued to a daily relationship.</p>
<p>I am sad, but resigned as this is a newer town for me. I know how difficult it is, without kid related connections, to meet new people, it was rough to find these two. But if I did it once I can do it again. The place where we raised our kids through most of their lives and from which we left 10+ years ago, yeah, I still am Facebook & Christmas card friends with a couple of people, but that’s it. That makes me sad as I thought we really would stay in touch.</p>
<p>Sorry I have nothing better to offer, but I think it all comes down to reframing the relationship and takes a big effort on both your parts to make it happen in any meaningful way. Some people can do it, things change, but you are still close, others fade away.</p>
<p>My BF moved three hours away last summer. Realizing there were going to be some empty hours I joined a new book group and a biking group and am making a point of inviting other friends over more often and just generally being more outgoing.</p>
<p>Having said that, my friend hasn’t found a dentist or hair stylist in her new city so she has been back every couple months and uses my guest room as her pied </p>
<p>I do a lot of Facebook chatting with friends who are far away. If you don’t use it, might be a good time for you and your friend to give it a try.</p>
<p>I have been in the same position. Now that our kids are older and out of the house, my friends that I have made from our kid connection are now in a position to move to downsize,move to their retirement areas, or just leave our high cost of living area. My circle of friends had shrunk. I was rather depressed about it. The best intentions to stay connected had really failed because people change and out of sight, out of mind. I made a concerted effort to join some social groups, book club and get out with hubby to different venues, events and we joined a wonderful “un-churchy” church that is very social. That is now our new circle of friends.</p>
<p>It can work despite the distance! My bff and I had adjoining yards for 14 years. Our kids ages all paired up, our H’s became friends and we truly were inseparable. Our family relocated 300 miles away in 1999 and despite both of us being heartbroken at the time, we haven’t lost an ounce of our closeness. </p>
<p>Every Sunday morning at 9AM my bff and I talk for 1-2 hours…every Sunday. All our family knows that this is our time, do not disturb! It is not the only time we talk, but it is always the time we talk. We text all the time, occasionally vacation together and visit as often as possible-usually every few months. We still shop together, only now we’re online shopping while on the phone! The both times we have moved in the last 15 years, my dear friend has been our first houseguest. Staying close is a priority. Your relationship with your friend will change, but the change doesn’t have to be bad. You just need time to find a new normal. Best wishes to you both.</p>
<p>One of my BFs lives a 5-6 hour plane ride from me. The other two plane rides that take about 18+ hours away. We have managed to stay close over theses 40+ years. It’s hard but more do-able now with computers, phones, etc than ever.</p>
<p>i had my best friend move 2000 miles away. it hurt my heart- we keep in touch by letters- one or two times a year. i am about to loose my friend i have know for over 20 years to 5 hours away. they both moved because of retirement. but the moves are good for them. harder to make friends as you age.</p>