<p>You know that facebook friend who was interesting but was always in her own circle? Not close? Or so you thought?</p>
<p>[A</a> Death on Facebook - Magazine - The Atlantic](<a href=“http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/09/a-death-on-facebook/8177/]A”>A Death on Facebook - The Atlantic)</p>
<p>Facebook presents a whole new set of categories within the realm of personal relationships. What a strange phenomenon. I have several “Friends” who friended me and in the year since I have been on, have never, once communicated with me. On the flip side, I have several people who I hardly knew and never socialized with who communicate with me daily. We write back and forth and tell each other jokes. Again, it’s strange. I don’t know if it’s a god thing or not.</p>
<p>I have trouble adjusting to the meaning of “friend” that Facebook implies. </p>
<p>I wish Facebook had an option called something like, “I don’t want to be friends. I just want to find out where you live now and look at your photos.”</p>
<p>EPTR - I think “I don’t know if it’s a <em>god</em> thing or not” was a typo…but seems appropriate.</p>
<p>When I slip into voyeur-mode (which is rare) and click on a friend of a friend of a friend who has open privacy settings and can <em>see</em> so much about their likes and friends and family and tastes without them being aware of all that they are sharing with a stranger, I sometimes feel like this God-being looking down from above…and judging :-)</p>
<p>I too think facebook friending is weird. I rarely send a friend request, but when I do, I send a message along with the request. I always post a greeting when I accept a friend request also. My daughter gets friend requests all the time from people she barely knows, friends of friends or random kids from school. She accepts them, but they never communicate. I think it is weird, like letting strangers read your diary, haha.</p>
<p>OP
That was a bittersweet story. thanks for posting</p>
<p>The whole story is interesting. The lady, “S”, apparently enjoyed making a splash. Now she’s gone, and she and her interesting story are featured prominently in a national news article, but she’s not here to enjoy it.</p>
<p>Interesting read . . . I just looked at photos of a friend of a friend–the photos were of a birth (the friend’s friend was having a baby). I felt like I was intruding on something really personal, especially since I didn’t know the woman giving birth. She was the sister-in-law of my Facebook friend (who is a friend in RL).</p>
<p>Facebook friending is weird and I am in the that demographic where I should have a huge amount of friends. I don’t really want to be friends with my friend’s little sisters or people who are just entering my old high school. It is awkward to me because I barely know them and I don’t have plans for the future to do so. </p>
<p>On dealing with death on FB I have had personal experience. My friend committed suicide junior year of high school and his facebook profile was open to the public. After he died his page became a way for people to write letters to him and sort of sort out their feelings. For awhile it was sad and mournful but as the years have gone by people post funny moments they had with him or if they have thought of him recently. It is sad when I see him in my list of friends but can look at his Wall and think about all the people who really did love him and care for him and who think about him even though its been two years since his death.</p>
<p>Great post from the comment section from the user Wendolyne:</p>
<p>"A Death on Facebook" is a fascinating tale of the author’s sense of separation and superiority. The admonition Kate Bolick so desperately seeks to issue those who use facecrack as a scrapbook or journal is actually a revelation of her own smug superficial reality and judgmental, isolated world. She may have meant to place an indictment on those she perceives as teeming masses substituting facemock for real life, but the story ultimately leaves its author alone in the cold, crying over a vibrant girl to whom she never even bothered to extend a polite “hello.” Does Bolick realize, I wonder, that this piece paints more of a self-portrait than it does a social network?</p>
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<p>Yes, it depends much more on how much of a user someone is, not on how close they are to you.</p>
<p>I enjoyed that article. I am a fan of biography. Other people’s stories–people I know, people I don’t know. I like to know other people’s stories. If people choose to have their stories unfold online for an audience large (e.g., reality show, blog) or small (Facebook friends), I’m an appreciative audience member. I don’t think the article reflected badly on the author–I don’t think she meant to indict or pass judgment on anything. I think she meant to share how her own skepticism and reluctance about Facebook was overcome as she became drawn in to an acquaintance’s life she would not otherwise have shared.</p>
<p>I agree with you, Desk. Frankly, I’ve always thought it a bit weird that people spend so much time reading fiction. Those are pretend-people. It doesn’t seem any stranger to me to follow the actions of real people living real life.</p>
<p>newccuser, I didn’t understand the “Wendolyne” comments, and can’t take them seriously with the snarky mock-names they used for Facebook. I have to assume that they just hate Facebook. Smug superficial indeed.</p>
<p>My friend (who is super gregarious) has 1200+ fb friends, and she knows every one of them quite intimately. She can pick up age-old conversations with friends she hasn’t seen for over a year … (often leaving her own friends hanging, haha). </p>
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<p>I /think/ I’m selective – I only accept from people I have seen or think there is potential. For example, people from OYFA – an ethnic cultural org that puts up vibrant, strong cultural shows. I want to know their stories and circle better, in a way. </p>
<p>Then there are those you friended because you were strong with them in the beginning, then it sort of dies off years later.</p>
<p>Once in a while it pays off to keep them and I have reignited old friendships because of facebook. </p>
<p>I also keep all my friends from my old primary school class because I treasure their memory quite dearly – partially because they are good friends of my good friends, but I am only on cordial terms with them. Friending them allows them to see more of my good friends’ lives overseas (by having access to photos etc.).</p>
<p>I do admit I witnessed such a death once – in the blogosphere once, where everyone had blogs and had outlinks to their friends’ blogs – and I’d see posts ranging like “so today the principal made an announcement that some girl in class 2A died…” to a post from a close friend comforting her friend who was best friends with that girl … to a post from the girl who took it the hardest. Because I had been on such close terms with them years ago, but now could only gaze from afar, I was caught with weird emotion.</p>
<p>I use it as a networking tool mainly. I have many professionals in my profession and in related professions as “friends.” Some of them I’ve never met in person or maybe a couple of times, but it’s always good to be able to connect if needed. I also have people on there who might not really be friends, but were classmates. It’s an easy communication tool during a specific class doing group projects, etc. Then I have family on there and some friends from high school.</p>
<p>I’m 50 years old. This fall I found out, on Facebook, that my college boyfriend had died. Though I hadn’t seen him in 25 years, or had contact in 5, I couldn’t believe the kicked in the gut feeling I had.</p>