<p>I’ve planned since I was 12 not to have children. My mother pushed back for a while, but by the time I was 30 or so, she stopped debating with me. My sisters have 4 kids among them, so the pressure’s off. I did always want to get married, and it was a challenge finding a partner who, like me, loves other people’s kids but doesn’t want any.</p>
<p>I have 25 teenagers this year, so I get plenty of interaction with young people! But I definitely prefer them once they can go to the bathroom by themselves.</p>
<p>Is it bad to admit that I’m not sure. My D use to say that she didn’t want kids but now she is dating a nice man who seems very traditional and so I think she probably will. I guess the same is true about my S but again I’m not sure. </p>
<p>But then both of the kids are with long term partners but I never ask them when they are going to get married. I am happy they are happy and think they have plenty of time to get married. Of course my family keeps asking, I wish they would stop. I don’t care and I don’t think about it </p>
<p>My boys are older teens and have no interest in (romantic) girlfriends or boyfriends either. No clue if that indicates an unlikelihood to not have long term relationships as adults. DH was definitely a late bloomer in that regard as well. I just want them to be happy or at least content adults. If that means no children in their future, I am fine with that–obviously not my decision. </p>
<p>There can’t be a God/god based on which humans reproduce a lot or none. One reason the human race remains at a status quo.</p>
<p>When I finally met and married Mr. Right we wanted children. Infertility interfered and we only have one. It will take another decade to figure out if he meets someone et al. My mother wanted to be a grandmother but died young (53) before becoming one. I see the next generation of relatives mainly not rushing so who knows. In their 30’s and 4 years of marriage after living together… This generation of college educated kids is in no rush although so many would be excellent parents. Feel Like I was a generation ahead of my time (ethnic choices as well).</p>
<p>Unfortunately having children too often is not a decision but a consequence. Wish all of those who would be good parents and can’t for any reasons could have them while those who can’t parent well wouldn’t. But that’s the perfect utopian world that will never exist.</p>
<p>I’m just curious - what reasons do your kids give for not wanting children??</p>
<p>I have a niece who married a year ago at age 35. Her and her husband seem to like kids. But she says “why would I want to bring kids into this world?” - that makes me so sad! She is my brother’s daughter - he has 3 girls. Him and his wife would be awesome grandparents and have good relationships with their three girls. But at this point, it’s possible that none of the three will have children. </p>
<p>My three:.
D1 is 25, not dating but speaks openly about having kids. She would also adopt. </p>
<p>S is 22 and in a serious relationship but not engaged yet. I suspect they would want two - they come from families of 3 and 4 kids. </p>
<p>D2 is a senior in high school. She speaks of “when I have children” - which just tells me that she is open to it. But of course too early to know what the future brings.</p>
<p>I am not necessarily opposed to kids (as in, I am not one to say never, ever, ever), but I don’t have any interest in having kids either. I definitely would not want to be the primary caretaker for a child. So, if I did decide to get married in the future (that’s not a given for me either, and I am not into dating and happily so), I could be OK with kids if husband was the primary caretaker.</p>
<p>abasket, it’s kind of hard to explain why. Kids just don’t appeal to me. Maybe one day I will run into a child that needs a home, and that child will steal my heart, and I will foster and adopt him/her. Or maybe I will meet a man that I love and want to have children with. I guess never say never. But as of right now (and at all prior times in my life), I have never really been interested in children, not even superficially (as in, oh look at that baby, it’s so cute - yes, some babies can be cute, but I am not drawn to them).</p>
<p>“My daughter and son in law are not having children.”</p>
<p>I saw an old friend recently. He and his wife said that. He said that their friends started having children and his wife got the itch for children. This led to divorce and now she has children in her new marriage and he is happy in his new marriage without children. So one never knows what may happen.</p>
<p>Just wanted to add that I never was into kids or babies until I had my own. I don’t remember even ever holding a baby until my son was born. My husband was the same way. After we had out kids DH said he never knew kids could be so wonderful.</p>
<p>I had son close to 30 and DH was over 30, so we were kind of late I guess in having kids.</p>
<p>BTW, I don’t begrudge anyone for choosing not to have children. God knows, there are often good reasons personally for not having or not being able to have children. I am just curious - especially for those in relationships and maybe already married why the spouses have thought that kids are not in the picture for them. </p>
<p>I think that at least for women, the urge can come later in life. It came to me when I was in my early 40s and in a relationship. I tried to get pregnant but no luck. The urge was still there, and I am so grateful that I found out about adopting from China when I was 48.</p>
<p>Before that, I had zero interest in parenting. But it was the best thing I ever did.</p>
<p>I didn’t have a deep urge to have kids either but my husband did. I was super fertile even in my 30s, so we had kids. I’m glad we did, because we could only spend so much money on vacation.</p>
<p>I have 7 kids and I hope at least some of them marry/have kids. I would like to be a grandma before I’m too old to enjoy it! Only the first two are old enough for marriage. We shall see. I can picture them all married/with kids at some point, though some say they’ll never get married. (Perhaps H and I have made marriage look unappealing? )They all enjoy their sibs/family life, like kids. The girls don’t like the idea of childbirth, though. And the boys are all shy, so I’m not sure how they are going to find DATES, let alone wives!<br>
H’s brother got married about 2 years ago. He and his wife (first marriage for both) just had their first baby–he is 48, wife is 39. He told me they hope for one or two more. </p>
<p>think my parents almost gave up on us–took us 10 years before it was “baby time”. We traveled a lot, had careers, owned a home–and then the primal urge set in. I wouldn’t count on the “no, don’t want kids” from anybody. But that’s speaking from experience. Best thing I ever did!
Unlike me at their age, both my kids have voiced a desire for kids and I think they both would be great parents.</p>
<p>I would NEVER ask my kids why they didn’t want children of their own! That’s so personal! But my oldest just isn’t a social person-ex and I suspect he, like my ex and his brother, is on the spectrum. S likes his cars, his boat, his tinkering and is happy with having a few friends to socialize with. His uncle is exactly the same at 60 so I don’t see that changing. His sister is only 25 and still finding her way. She works weird hours, likes to do “death sports” like rock climbing and white-water rafting and isn’t in a hurry to settle down. Their younger sister has always loved kids and has always wanted some. These things just ARE. And I’d never try to delve into the whys and such.</p>
<p>I don’t know about my own kids ( at 21 and 24 they are pretty ambivalent ) but I find it intriguing that my father had about seven kids in his family, and only tow of them had kids; my father and his oldest sister. His oldest sisters kids died without having kids of their own. Sometimes I wonder “do they know something they are not telling us?..”</p>
<p>My H calls them death sports, so I adopted the term. SHE thinks they’re fun! She got it from her father (my ex), and belonged to two outdoor sport clubs in HS. She and her father are the only two family members who’ve broken a bone. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, but I don’t begrudge her the activities. She’s more adventurous and we need people like that!</p>
<p>When I was a teen and in my early/mid 20s, staying at home with a baby sounded like torture to me. I did take care of my sister’s kids as infants on up, from time to time, and that was fine, I was just never one of those people who is strongly drawn to children in general, although I liked specific children. In my thirties I was struck by baby fever. And could imagine nothing more entrancing than spending time with my son.</p>
<p>Whether he will have kids, I don’t know. He is just starting out on a career that may require him to move around a lot, and his current GF, who sounds like a potential keeper, has three years of grad school left and then would be establishing her career. (Actually, I have an ideal scenario in which he gets a job in her city, they get married and have a kid while she is a grad student and has some more flexibility, and then they can move together if necessary. Needless to say I am keeping this strictly to myself! :-SS And I haven’t even met her yet.)</p>
)They all enjoy their sibs/family life, like kids. The girls don’t like the idea of childbirth, though. And the boys are all shy, so I’m not sure how they are going to find DATES, let alone wives!<br>
</p>
And could imagine nothing more entrancing than spending time with my son.</p>