<p>I’m with sseamom, I won’t be asking my kids why they don’t want to have children. It’s their decision. My parents were persistent with their questions. We waited 5 yrs before deciding to have our first child. </p>
<p>We didn’t want to have kids until we were together for 8 years. We pretty much dislike everyone else’s kids (sorry!). Well, the few loud and misbehaved ones.</p>
<p>I feel it is 100% up to my kids. And I am not on board with making it an earth-shattering, permanent life choice. I know people who had kids in their late 40s, after assuming they’d never have kids. Once a couple is in their 50s, you assume that they aren’t going to have kids, but even if one of the couple is your kid, you have no right to ask about it.</p>
<p>I know people who can’t have kids, and the thought of bringing up “so, you choose to live childless?” would really get to them. And I know other people who talk to those who “choose to be child-free” and act like they are trying to convert them to the “one true religion”.</p>
<p>Sadly, people who do NOT contemplate whether they want to have kids or not are the ones who are actually having the kids. They just do it, like breathing or eating three times per day. They do not contemplate why or why not.</p>
<p>Just for the record, I didn’t picture anyone having an inquisition with their kids over why they don’t want to have children. Just thought it might have been something that came up in discussion. 
At our house, we openly talk about lots of stuff like that - my kids are very chatty!!! Not suggesting anyone having a sit down talk about why kids aren’t in the plan. </p>
<p>^Yeah, I can see talking about it. I wouldn’t be lobbying for kids, but I would be curious why no kids. </p>
<p>I know I will at least have a Corgi to be contend with. My kid loves Corgi, just like the Queen.</p>
<p>"Just thought it might have been something that came up in discussion. "</p>
<p>I think my son said something to the effect of not having to be so anal about money. </p>
<p>Thinking about being a parent when you are college age can be a little scary I think. It didn’t become a strong urge in me until I fell in love and my future wife said she wanted a family. The picture of doing it all however intimidating became a goal slowly and with the support of our families.</p>
<p>I like Corgis, too. And sure, my girls are open to discussions about having kids someday- including a recent chat. The older one’s idea is that I’ll be a regular part of raising them (I think it’s an endorsement that I did ok with her.) But the real question is: do I have an urge to be a grandmother? The answer is clearly, Not Yet. And after time on CC, when we had the discussion, all I could think of was college costs. :)</p>
<p>I don’t know why it would be too personal to ask my kids why they wouldn’t want to have children. For crying out loud, I changed their diapers and bathed them. Now, I wouldn’t bug them to change their mind once they told me, but I would certainly be comfortable in asking them. I think I would be comfortable in asking my close friends about not wanting to have kids too, and respect their choice.</p>
<p>I know both of my girls would want to have children someday. D2 may have a puppy first.</p>
<p>No grandma yet for me.</p>
<p>Giving birth and changing diapers doesn’t give one the right to ask deeply personal and possibly painful questions of a child. And I would drop a friend who felt that it was their business to know why I decided to have or not have children. Some things are personal and should remain so, or between partners/spouses. Unless someone OFFERS to explain this, the childbearing decision is one of them.</p>
<p>My mom never get a chance to ask. That’s how fertile I was. </p>
<p>I just don’t see it as that personal, especially if it is by choice. Even if it is very personal, not sure why my kids wouldn’t share it with me. I guess every family dynamic is different. Some parents would never even ask their kids how much money they make, my kid (D1) would go into a conference room to call me to get my feedback. She would ask me about my bonus too. </p>
<p>Oldmom…sweet. : )</p>
<p>and then the primal urge set in. >>>>>>>>>></p>
<p>Yep. Seriously. I felt almost “crazed” to be pregnant with my husband’s child at a certain point. Not just any child, but a child of our marriage. It was a most unique feeling, almost sexual somehow. Hope that doesn’t sound too awfully weird!! LOL. </p>
<p>In my thirties I was struck by baby fever. And could imagine nothing more entrancing than spending time with my son.>>>>>></p>
<p>Love this! 
</p>
<p>Do any of you actually know in your heart that a child of yours is most likely to not want children and in fact, would be much better off not having them?>>>>>>>>>>></p>
<p>I am the OP and that is my opening question. Believe me, I would NEVER ask about this. It is intensely personal.
Just to set that part straight!</p>
<p>I never liked to babysit, had no younger siblings or cousins to play with etc. I guess I always just thought I would have kids because I loved big family holidays and get togethers. My dad once told me having a kid was the best thing ever and I think I relied on that advice. </p>
<p>We waited about five years of marriage before starting our family. At that point we’d bought a house, had nice success in our careers and there was a sense of, “is this all there is?” There is nothing like seeing the world thru the lens of a parent. That said, I would never urge someone to have kids unless they were already considering it. It is an endless, draining, frustrating job at times so you have to want to do it! </p>
<p>My kids I would ask, friends…that depends. If had a childless friend who I thought was better off childless, I wouldn’t ask. I would just be glad she had made the right choice. </p>