<p>My son really wants children. I’d like for him to have them because I know he very much wants to be a dad. Beginning to wonder if he’ll find someone to have them with. Having old parents, he always wanted to start a family young. </p>
<p>Neither of my kids are in relationships right now (and that is OK, especially for my 16 yo son, :)) D is 21 and currently not in a relationship. She has told me that she may choose to not have biological kids because of some health issues she has had that she could potentially pass along. She would make an awesome mother and she wants to be a pediatrician. That may be enough, she may adopt, or she may choose to have biological kids. The genetics don’t say she shouldn’t, just to be prepared. Time will tell and it will be her choice.</p>
<p>Although my daughter is only 18, she is determined to find a mate and have children “before it becomes a science experiment.” Unlike her old mom who adopted her as a single parent at an advanced age! She observes the lives of parents we know (and I have always made sure we had couples in our lives, unlike our mommy-daughter family) and how they have managed the practicalities of working while parenting, and as an experienced and sought-out babysitter, she has observed parenting philosophies and practices as well. Since I am already 66, I can only dream about being a grandma but I can hope!</p>
<p>You can’t ever know when or if conception will become a science experiment. My relative is under 30 and has been trying for two years. They are now into the most expensive and most risky interventions. My D1 has always said that she wants kids relatively young, I think that is because I was the child of older parents and I have always said that I am not a fan of that. My rule of thumb is that we discuss these things openly, but once they are married, I would never ask specifics. That, I think, is inappropriate, but I am here for whatever they want to discuss with me.</p>
<p>“TINK” is what my D calls it (two income no kids) - and while I adore kids, and would have loved to have a house filled with them, my arty D says “nope, not for me” and while she would like a partner, she is not expecting to bring any children into the world. I support whatever (WHATEVER) makes her happy and will contend with oohing and ahhing over my nephews (maybe) child(ren) should they decided to do so. </p>
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<p>For sure, zoosermom. And as an adoptee, my daughter has absolutely zero family history which might make a prediction easier.</p>
<p>But surely the odds are that increasing age of the mom-to-be makes for increasing chances of difficulty conceiving and/or carrying a baby to term.</p>
<p>I once commented about saving certain toys and books in the event that we ever have grandkids. DS (age 17.5) said, “Mom! Jeeze . . . Have a little faith in me!” 
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<p>There’s an easy way to adopt - my DH’s stepsister was heavily involved in her fundamentalist church, and at least several times per year had knocked up teenagers wanting to give away their babies because abortion is a sin.</p>
<p>Absolutely no issue at all, his stepsister watched the birth, and took the baby home from the hospital in two days. Freshly minted white blond hair blue-eyed. </p>
<p>Got one more that way, then took on a special needs kid, THEN got knocked up on her own (God’s will and all), and ended up with eight I believe, five of her own and three adopted.</p>
<p>" You can’t ever know when or if conception will become a science experiment."</p>
<p>My son was very close to his social worker, and she had trouble but then did become pg. They were getting news at school about two other women having their babies, and no news on her. It ended up that an aide told my son that the social worker lost her baby 
Of course, two weeks after he told my son, my son’s case worker calls me and says “we need to talk to the children about a sad occurrence” and she was shocked when I said “yeah, I know, Mrs. X lost her baby, my son told me”. So the case worker just about flipped out. I was VERY NICE not to narc on the guy, because frankly he should have lost his job to tell a special needs kid that kind of thing point blank. My son actually had some serious behavioral issue right after he was told, and no one knew why, and I found out why a few days later.</p>
<p>FWIW, back in the 60s, my mom had to take her temperature in order to have me…</p>
<p>My siblings always said I was an accident, but I would show them the box that said “Predict Ovulation!” on it 
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<p>oldmom, posts like that scare me a bit. I have already made the decision that if I am unable to have children “naturally” (ie without fertility treatments), then we will adopt. I do not want to go through fertility treatments only to have them end in failure. I really don’t think I could handle that. </p>
<p>OTOH, I’ve been told by some (and assured by others that this isn’t necessarily the case) that it will be harder for me to adopt because I am an atheist. </p>
<p>So many children that need homes and yet so many barriers </p>
<p>romanigypsyeyes, it varies a lot from state to state. But it’s certainly not as easy as most people think, fundamentalist churches notwithstanding. I hate to be the bearer of scary news! But knowledge is power.</p>
<p>Never heard atheism was a disqualifier. One reason its not as easy as some think is because many present a conflicted picture. </p>
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<p>It certainly might be when going through the religious based adoption people or in any situation in which a believer is the parent who is choosing the adoptive ones. </p>
<p>Still, I’m sure there are atheists who have adopted happily, perhaps just not easily through say, Catholic Charities or other faith based operation.</p>
<p>Right, there are plenty of atheists who have adopted. I’ve been contacted by a few here on CC :)</p>
<p>It’s just more difficult. Many adoptions take place through religious organizations and many religious organizations do have a screening process. I doubt it’s a barrier (or significant barrier) through state adoptions.
You can see a parallel story in religious orgs that refuse to adopt to same-sex parents. </p>
<p>Usually with those pregnant girl’s homes the girls pick the parents. Wanna-be parents put together a book (basically, a sales pitch) and hope to be selected. The girls are not necessarily Christian and neither are the picked parents. There are a lot more couples wanting babies than girls offering them up, though.</p>
<p>Many people only want an infant. But there are many more kids out of that stage. If the drive is to provide family…</p>
<p>The people who I know in my generation who adopted newborns in this country did so through the Mormon Church and Catholic Church. </p>
<p>In this generation, women with unwanted pregnancies are much, much more likely to keep their babies if they don’t abort, even if they are Catholic or Mormon and certainly if they are fundamentalist.</p>
<p>oldmom is most definitely right in post #96. I’m a pro-life Catholic and there is a local pro-life organization (The Sisters of Life) which helps young women who are pregnant. According to the nuns, it’s very uncommon for these young women to give up their children to be adopted. (Not all of the young women who seek assistance are Catholics; the Sisters of Life help anyone who is pregnant and asks for help.) </p>
<p>I think it is also true that being an atheist will make it less likely you’ll be able to adopt. </p>
<p>You might be able to adopt a child abroad. In the US though, a very high percentage of young women who become pregnant and give their kids up for adoption, believe that abortion is immoral on religious grounds. Private adoptions are common these days and young women who have gone through a pregnancy because they think abortion is immoral are less likely to choose parents who think abortion is a-ok. Most atheists do. If a young woman doesn’t have an abortion because she is Catholic or Mormon, it’s probable that she will want someone of the same faith to adopt her child. </p>
<p>It’s a very different story if you are willing to adopt kids who are seven years of age or older and/or a special needs child. </p>
<p>In addition, as someone who has been personally affected by adoption…it’s a lot more complicated than most people think. So, even if you do manage to adopt a child, that child may still have serious issues arising out of the adoption. </p>
<p>I don’t want to offend oldmom or anyone else, but I sometimes think it’s easier for kids who are adopted from other countries. Chinese kids are aware of the “one child” policy, and thus don’t have as much of an issue about being given up. Kids from India or South America may assume that their families were too poor to keep them. But regular old American-born adoptees may struggle with accepting the fact that their mothers didn’t keep them. </p>
<p>There’s a big jump between diapers and 7. I’d encourage people who want to open their hearts to realize it isn’t just about infants. And that not all kids adopted from foster will have issues greater than bio kids could have. I know we’re OT.</p>
<p>We’re x-posting. I’m pro-adoption. I don’t think it’s easier to have one back story over another. </p>
<p>My fiance works with a family that has between 4 and 6 special-needs foster children at any one time. They can’t legally adopt in the state because they are both women. </p>
<p>Most of the children are older and know why they were removed from their homes. AFAIK, none of them are in any rush to go back to bio parents. The ones that are infants have severe special needs- Down’s, FAS, etc. </p>
<p>Yes, we’re OT but I’ll throw this out there: we have both discussed it and would actually prefer not to adopt an infant. Toddler to early elementary school is preferable to us. I’d be fine with even older teenagers.</p>
<p>This is years off for us though. However, it’s really sad to me that my lack of religion could be a barrier. </p>