<p>That is a very valid point, that I probably never hear about the wrong. I can’t believe I never thought of that… Confirmation bias…tsk tsk, human nature…lesigh…</p>
<p>It really sucks being a female adolescent sometimes. One gets too emotional and irrational in intense moments…then you end up losing your guard for a second, and this happens…</p>
<p>Are you a parent, Seahorserock? Your blunt, no-shiz personality is awesome. Your username is also awesome. Sea horses do rock.</p>
<p>Look up a diagram of the large and small intestine, your mom is feeding you the company line. </p>
<p>Your mom’s GI problems is from the years of stress and guilt of subjecting herself and children to a bad person.</p>
<p>What is meant by “company line?” And LOL nice one Batllo. Unfortunately, tru dat.</p>
<p>Company line means she going along with what the your dad/old lady said even though she knows it is bogus.</p>
<p>Sorry we assumed you were male, we bad. Company line is doing what dad says. Always agreeing with him.</p>
<p>And yeah who is going to admit when the oracle they count on is wrong? And peoplemfib all the time so don’t look foolish.</p>
<p>Yeah I’m a mom. And kind of shoot from the hip and skeptical. To survive you are going to have to manuver in this odd family dynamic. But you are smart, and you, know with seeing clarity and seeing maybe for the first time you can plan around it.</p>
<p>I know you are stuck now, but it won’t always be this way. The robot thing was really unfair. But you are going to move forward and have an amazing life. </p>
<p>Andyeah sea horses do rock</p>
<p>You should have argued about how awesome having the FIRST Robotics Nationals competition would have been to add to your resume, not to mention building a continued relationship with your mentors because your going to need them to write recommendations if you apply to any FIRST scholarships. Plus the experience would have given you something to write about for your essays for college/scholarships.</p>
<p>Sorry…this was not a “robot meeting” this is a serious engineering competition that is respected by colleges everywhere. Your father did you a disservice.</p>
<p>Please don’t let this resentment consume you, your thinking or your life. My older brother has harbored a life sucking resentment towards our father for most of his life. Our father passed away eleven years ago, my brother is now over sixty years old, and he STILL gets spun up over nonsense that happened almost fifty years ago. He refused to attend our father’s funeral … Though conveniently accepted his portion of the inheritance when our mother died a few years later.</p>
<p>None of it was anything more than two stubborn people butting heads in a nice family. No abuse, no drugs, no alcohol, nothing illegal, no mental illness, nothing BIG happened, but my brother resented my father saying no, and never got over it. (Well, actually, at this point I’d say my brother has been in need of therapy for a long time, but there wasn’t any mental illness in the family when my brother was a teen.)</p>
<p>My brother’s life has been one of anger, resentment, and he has a pretty big persecution complex (or whatever the term is now). He is not a happy person. </p>
<p>Don’t allow this stuff to change who you are and who you want to be. Parents say no for seemingly arbitrary reasons, that don’t make a lot of sense to their children, but generally they are doing their best to raise you to adulthood.</p>
<p>I am 61. My father was also menacing, explosive, controlling and frightening. My mother was enabling and narcissistic. It is very difficult. It took a lot of therapy for me to feel better about myself and that it wasn’t somehow my “fault.”</p>
<p>I made it through college (for which they paid) and then had a very limited relationship with them for the rest of their lives. I didn’t want to be dramatic and cut them out completely - it wasn’t necessary. Perhaps I always had the hope that they would change. They didn’t.</p>
<p>I have had a very satisfying and successful life in spite of this hard start.</p>
<p>I wish you the best and hope you will seek out help when you need it.</p>
<p>OP,
Hold on, you will have to tolerate, not easy, but not much you could do since you are not financially independent. However, to feel that strong about event that you are describing is way out of proportion. There are real tragedies happen in everybody’s lives, they are un-avoidable. This event is not a tragedy by any measure. It is a small obstacle that you have to keep in mind when expecting certain things from your family. Just another learning experience.
I am saying that because you sound like you might drive yourself into depression feeling the way you feel now. That would be a major tragedy. Do not do it to yourself. Your hard work is NOT wasted at all, I bet you learned whole lot, which is the most important side. So, get over, move on, do not make it worse for yourself than you already have, be self-centered, take care of yourself if you feel that you do not have much support. Self-preservation is a must, do not derail your own life, see bigger picture.</p>
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<p>The situation will probably get much worse when the OP does not get into HYPSMCC, where not being allowed to participate in the robotics event may tip the admissions decision to rejection.</p>
<p>OP needs to get a 34 on the ACT in order to have a full ride merit scholarship (University of Alabama - Huntsville) available in order to get out from the father’s (financial) control. The father will be able to continue to abuse the OP if he controls the finances for college (either the actual money, or the financial aid paperwork, or both).</p>
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<p>Is this sarcasm?</p>
<p>Surely I can still put it on my app. I contributed towards the team significantly.</p>
<p>Do the publicly available records of the event include a roster of students who attended the event? If so, then you need to at least explain why you are not on the roster for your team.</p>
<p>I just wanted to reiterate what another poster said about paying for APs, SATs, etc. </p>
<p>I come from a family with a mother much like your father. I spent much of my childhood incredibly resentful and upset, but finally let go of it after a lot of emotional work last year. For my own mental health and because my parents are unwilling to fund extras for me (but always find money for my half-sister for whatever she wants…lol), I have become mostly financially independent from my parents. They still provide room and board, but I purchase clothes, school things, pay for field trips, SATs, APs, etc. While working 20 hours a week is difficult, I am so much happier this way. </p>
<p>At one point I was a little late with the $500 I needed to sign up for my five AP exams. I talked to my counselor about an extension, and she immediately had the parents board fund my exams. I’m lucky to live in a school district where affluent parents donate enough for this to be possible, and I don’t know if you are, but remember that counselors and teachers are there to help you. My counselor talks with my teachers, something I had never even thought about doing, and they have been incredibly helpful by giving extensions when I have to work double shifts until late at night.</p>
<p>As far as college goes, you might need to rely on them. On the other hand, I am planning to go somewhere where I get a full ride (Bama, Pitt, Northeastern, etc. Duke or Vandy if a miracle happens) unless my grandparents are able to fund an education at a school that meets need (if I get in). I always have grad school for that Ivy brand name. It is not worth it to remain under an irrational parent’s whims when you are at college. Don’t take that risk. What if they cut off funding? </p>
<p>I’m really sorry about the robotics competition. Remember, only 1-2 years left. It’ll be over soon enough. Breathe, relax, remember that this will someday be a distant memory.</p>
<p>Does your father have any siblings that you could talk to? Perhaps you should alert them that your Dad is letting this person influence important decisions? This could be some kind of dementia.</p>
<p>^If its a long standing pattern, it is more likely a personality disorder. Alerting siblings won’t fix it. The father can’t get better unless he recognizes that he has a problem and wants to fix it. This does not sound like that type of case.</p>
<p>OP,</p>
<p>You posted in the Harvard forum that you were wait listed. Care to explain?</p>