When did you delete your (loved) deceased family and/or friends from your contacts in your phone or elsewhere?
Just curious what others have done.
I haven’t had problems deleting friends. It’s sad, but I just do it the first or second time I see it post death and move on. I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it for my dad yet. He’s been gone almost a month. He won’t be calling anymore, nor can I call him - yet for some reason I keep saying, “not yet.” I don’t know if it’s reluctance/denial or some form of respect I want to keep.
What have you done? I’m sure there’s no right or wrong thing to do, so just seeing how “common” things are I suppose.
I have deceased folks contacts on my phone. I plan NOT to transfer them when I get a new phone. I still get reminders to wish deceased people happy birthday on Facebook.
I have my dear doggie caregivers texts still in my phone. He was so hilarious, loved my girls so much. Pictures of all the dogs completely covering his bed that he texted to us. Can’t bear to look at them, can’t delete them. The girls were with him when he died, hopefully snuggled up to him as he passed.i I can’t delete those.
I recently deleted a deceased friend that died almost 2 years ago. I liked seeing his name in my phone as it helped me remember him. Finally decided it was time to take him out as I was updating contacts. I still think about him, so all is ok!
Both of my parents died in the past couple of years. Both are definitely still in my phone but I removed from “favorites” so I do not need to see their photos everytime I go to call one of my kids.
Someone I worked with who was very sick with cancer told me her daughter asked her to call and leave a message on her cell phone so she would be able to hear her voice whenever she wanted. She died not much later (and she did leave a message).
I lost my dad 8 months ago and it never occurred to me to delete his contact. My mom is still in the family home and my dad’s voice is on the answering machine. When I call my mom and she isn’t home some days I hang up because I don’t want to hear it but other days I like to listen to his voice to remember him.
EllieMom I am so sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking.
Thanks everyone. It’s good to know I’m not weird. I was wondering. Dad can stay without me wondering what’s wrong with me that I can’t delete him even knowing I’ll never use that contact again. There is something different even if I can’t describe what it is.
I just checked. Unfortunately I had deleted all of his voicemails back when he was alive. (sigh)
@EllieMom I’m so sorry about your son. Tons of hugs coming from here.
I can’t do it. I feel like my contacts are in some way a record of my life, so deleting someone feels like erasing part of who I am. Also, when I see the contact of someone who’s gone, it reminds me of them, which I think honors their memory.
You brought tears to my eyes, @EllieMom - I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug. Thank you for opening your heart to say that.
I’ve never deleted any deceased person from my contacts. I just checked my phone contacts to confirm this -my mom is still there. She died in 2009. My uncle and my nephew’s wife are still there, too. I’ve never thought about deleting them.
I haven’t unfriended deceased people from social media, either. Their families keep those accounts live, and as long as the account is still live, I feel as though it doesn’t hurt anyone to keep those friends. It seems like a hurtful thing to do to the families of the deceased to unfriend them. They may be gone but they were my friends in life and it’s up to their families to decide to delete or deactivate the account.
But it doesn’t cause me pain to see those contacts or friends on facebook. I guess I’d handle it differently if i felt sad or upset by seeing those contacs still there. Seeing my mom’s name pop up once in awhile makes me smile. I have fond memories of deceased friends on facebook. Their children and families still post occasionally on their pages: “Hey, Barb, I saw this butterfly today and thought of you.”
As for me, I am not on FB and I am not sentimental. I delete old contacts, dead or alive, on a regular basis. If I haven’t spoke with you or heard from you in a while, you are out. If I update my phone and you aren’t in contact recently, you are out. It’s the same with business cards. If I haven’t spoken to you in a while, I toss your card.
I can’t do it. My grandmother (she raised me), my mother and a dear friend remain as contacts in my phone and e-mail. All have been well over 10 years gone.
