This is going to be a bit of a rant… Bear with me.
When I’m at school for a long time, I don’t want to come home. And vice versa. Well, my winter break was a month long so I got to remember the joys of home life. I chilled a lot with my family, and I had the time of my life. Because I have severe anxiety and problems with making friends, I rely on my family too much for comfort/companionship… I’m the type who doesn’t mind if I don’t have friends as long as I have my family… That’s why it hurts badly to come back to college where I’m not with them and stressed 24.7… I’ve overloaded myself with higher level math and cs classes this semester… On top of that, I have a part time job. I can’t quit this job either even if I have a mental breakdown because I need to help my parents with some payments… It’s just that I have class directly after my job - which starts at 9 in the morning - and I won’t be done with all classes until five PM… Afterwards, I have to work on my homework until god knows when…
Sorry - I get that everybody’s stressed out… I’ve just had many emotional problems starting my Freshman year of High school where I had to see a therapist… Although I’ve gotten a lot better since, I can’t handle stress and on top of that loneliness too well. Sure I can talk to my parents on the phone but it’s just not the same… I’m not actually with them, and I’m not quite independent yet. Just thinking about three more years of college is making me even more stressed/unhappy. I can’t imagine myself sticking it out for that long but I know that dropping out isn’t an option. My parents have given me this wonderful opportunity so it would be so hateful/unappreciative to just be a bum for the rest of my life and not take it… Anyway, I was able to do well my first semester but IDK how things will turn out after second semester especially seeing as I’m extremely unmotivated, afraid, and a bit sad. I don’t want to fail but I can see myself not caring anymore. What’s a good way to motivate myself and be happier, generally?
Some advice would be great. I’d also like to hear about your experiences because I’m aware I’m not the only one out there with these issues. Thanks!
There is nothing wrong with preferring your family to others and being close to them. Nothing wrong unless you are far from them. Have you considered transferring? Why not attend a school closer to your family. I know this is not going to be a popular reply because the US tends to support rugged individualism and being independent over being closer to family and staying closer to home. I don’t think one is superior to the other. Being independent allows you more options perhaps but at a cost.
I agree with lostaccount, the best thing might be looking into community colleges back home. After high school I went directly into a large state university about an hour away from my hometown. I realized a lot of people in my college had gone to a community college and gotten an AA and then transferred. In a way I wish I would have stayed 2 more years at my local college back home and then transferred. I think the transition would have been easier and I would have gotten more of the harder, less interesting pre-reqs out of the way. I totally get family is important to you, as I come from a small close family and I’m lucky I go to school not that far away so I can visit every now and again. Besides I known a lot of people who went to a large uni/college away from home at first and then transferred back to a local college for various reasons to earn their AA and transfer or go ahead an get their bachelors. It’s your life do what is best for you.
Yes, what is wrong with a school closer to home?
That being said, it’s natural to be anxious at the beginning of the semester. Think about finding a counselor/therapist at school.
It is important for you, and every homesick freshman who is suprrised to be homesick again as they begin second semester, that this intense reaction is normal. You are still in a the transition of moving from late childhood to adulthood, the newness of college has worn off, you just came off a break from the new stresses of college/adulthood, and you know what you are in for as far as college level work goes. Your emotional response is one of the many expected types of reactions to this situation. That being said, it sounds like you have a history of mental health concerns and taking your current concerns to the campus counseling center might be worth your time and help you sort out what you want to do as far as continuing at your current school or transfer to a community collge near home.
Lastly, keep your grades as high as possible while you sort all of this out. This will keep your transfer options open.
Sometimes I’m happy that my parents weren’t around that much due to them working. Going to college was the same as my home life but I was able to start new and escape my bullies. So its hard for me to relate since I have never been homesick in my life. But when I saw this as a freshman it was almost as common as blinking. It happens to mostly everyone. Btw if you are this stressed out you might want to switch majors. I also want to tell you I love my major. I have a work study job and work 20 hours a week which I enjoy. But I still get stressed out as all. I’ve cried over math and physics classes as well as my structural geology course. Being stressed and crying because you are stressed is normal. I would suggest therapy, it helped me a lot. I found great coping techniques.