<p>NEVER in my life have I EVER felt this melancholy. Today I completed my alg2/trig H exam…and my grades have dropped big time. In alg 2 I had a 79.9 (B-) and now it is a 78.78! (C+) I have never had a C in my life!! I know I have much to be thankful for and my life is good overall but this is just so depressing. This will only make my chances at NU worse and my mom’s trust in me decline. I feel like a failure. </p>
<p>Predicted GPA:
English: A- (if I study hard today)
Chemistry: B-
Spanish: B
AP Euro: B (can change to A if I get a 5 on May exam)
Alg2/Trig H: C+
Religion: B+ (may be an A- because I have to turn in 1 assignment)</p>
<p>This is a 3.0, right?? </p>
<p>My parents are also divorcing officially now and I feel like I’ve let everyone down…I have only made a larger burden for my “family.” Gah…</p>
<p>I know my low grades are largely my own fault and I need to do well for the second semester! I am yearning for a 4.0 I know I have the brains to do it. This will heal my connection with my mom. The only thing is that sometimes I feel weak, especially now more than ever. </p>
<p>Please…is there any any advice on what to do? I am desperate! I feel like crying but I can’t now because I must study for the rest of my finals. I am sorry for the dribble but thank you very much for reading this.</p>
<p>Aww, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. Today what you have to do is put your focus on your English exam. Study hard tonight - forget about the divorce, the Alg/Trig grade, the feeling like a failure - and ace that exam. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better if you do well on it tomorrow.</p>
<p>I don’t want to seem unsympatheitc but you have to look at the positives. You could be depressed because you have Lukemia and are losing your hair from the chemo like some kids your age have to deal with. It always helps to put things in perspective when you feel that way. You also could be Britney Spears :)</p>
<p>GratefulDeb - I totally agree with your belief and as stated, I see how many good things I have in my life. However, I actually am losing my hair. I have Trichotillomania.</p>
<p>Thank you for the advise. I will study for English and CHemistry now. </p>
<p>It’s perfectly natural to have a hard time concentrating if your parents are getting divorce. Admissions committees understand that your grades will be impacted if something traumatic is going on in your personal life-and a divorce is traumatic! Assuming you can pull it back together next semester (or the one after), have your guidence counselor mention it tactfully in your file. You can even bring it up as an additional factor for them to consider. And by the way, you have all my sympathy: It takes superhuman concentration sometimes to keep on task when your family feels like its under attach from within.</p>
<p><em>hugs</em> Trust me, you have not let anyone down. Your parents are divorcing each other, not you. Hopefully, they will both continue to support you and your education. If these are mid-term grades, I am sure you will be able to bring them up. If they are final grades, that one C+ will not ruin you. I am not sure of your grade (Jr, Sr) , but your GPA will be based on all your semesters, not just this one. Advice, just study as hard as you can, ask for help when you need it, make sure your parents do not put you in the middle, and I guarantee you will be okay. You are not alone, although it may feel that way sometimes…divorce is always difficult, but along with the stress of thinking about college, it is even more so, I’m sure. Sometimes action is enough to get you through the rough times, but sometimes we need outside help. Make sure you seek that out if need be. I wish you the best, and remember, you can post here any time.</p>
<p>Hugs, EASD. You will do fine if you can focus and concentrate on what you have in front of you, not rehash what is done. It takes discipline, but censor those thoughts. Make an appointment with yourself to wallow about it all when the English exam is finished and that last Religion assignment is finished. Until then, keep your mind clear. It has been a tough time, and most of us do less than our best when distracted. This is your time to prove to yourself that you are in charge of your life, not anyone else. Good luck! Lorelei</p>
<p>Um…are you sure you’re not stealing my life?</p>
<p>I suggest you talk to a friend or your counselor. I’ve dropped from 4.0 to barely a 3.0 and I’ve felt the same way (plus I have a largely dysfunctional family). Trust me, having some supportive friends is really helping.</p>
<p>Are you taking medication for the Trichotillimania, and if so, does it have a depressing effect on you? That might be something to take back to the doctor who prescribed it (if you have meds, that is). Perhaps a different brand of medication wouldn’t have the depressing effect.</p>
<p>Study hard for the English. You can make that one an A. Then take a good long look at the math test, go over it with a fine tooth comb and make sure you got every point coming to you. Sometimes my girls miss out on points because they have bad handwriting and have to explain to the teacher what their “work” is. Then go see the teacher. Ask how the grade will be computed, etc. There’s always a chance the grade will move up a bit. </p>
<p>Then realize that your gpa is not just defined by this semester. It’s cumulative over all four years of high school. There will be many, many opportunities to bring this up. And finally, please understand that a 3.0 is a B average. That’s a very good average. Most students would be thrilled. And don’t forget to sleep and be nice to yourself. You’re awesome to be able even to function and care at all about grades when your parents are divorcing. Remember this moment. It would make a great college application essay. Even the tough moments bring something valuable.</p>
<p>If you are worried about your Mom/family the best thing you can do for her/(them) is take care of yourself. As a parent I can tell you that my great fear is not that my child might get a “C” in a class, it’s that choices I made would have him feel the way you seem to feel right now. </p>
<p>Give yourself a break it’s the least you deserve.</p>
<p>I’m sorry you are feeling so down…your parents splitting up is a difficult and traumatic thing to go through…it is understandable that you would be spinning from this ordeal. </p>
<p>You are putting too much pressure on yourself! Your grades are not the most important thing. You are not responsible to make your parents happy with your grades. You are not a failure. You are not a burden.</p>
<p>My advice…sit down and have a good cry. You are just pushing down your feelings and turning your anger and dissapointment on yourself. Let it out. Accept that you are not perfect, your parents aren’t perfect. However you do, you will find the path that is right for you. There is not only one school that is right for you. Sit down and have a talk with your parents. Express your feelings. Communication will heal the connection with your Mom, not your grades. Your love for each other is what’s important, not your performance. I hope your mom has not made you feel that she will not accept you unless you perform in school. I love and accept my kids no matter how they do.</p>
<p>If you feel you cannot talk to your parents about your feelings, I hope you have another adult you can go to whom you trust, whether a family member, teacher or friend’s parent that you can confide in. It is important to find some compassion and a listening ear during this very stressful time you are going through.</p>
<p>I hope you can relax and find a place of peace inside you. Pushing yourself to study, study, study is not the answer. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself and most of all love and accept yourself for who you are. Take a long walk, a bubble bath, relect on all your positive qualities. </p>
<p>Oh and keep coming to the parents forum but maybe for now avoid the rest of CC because it can get even the straight A kids down and blow this whole school thing way out of proportion. Only on cc can you feel like a failure with a B and forget there are TONS of FANTASTIC colleges even if you maintained your current grades (which sounds very UNLIKELY!). (oh hey, check out the thread on EA and rolling admissions and have a look at the acceptance rates: you’ll feel tons better!).</p>
<p>Everyone can have a blip in their record for different life crises and its well understood by adcoms. I know a number of kids in med school right now, all of whom had some very seriously bad terms in college in undergrad for example. </p>
<p>Oh, thank you each and every one of you for your advice! I really appreciate it. Some of you were asking which grade I am in. I am a sophomore at a college prep high school in southern California. </p>
<p>I have a 4 day weekend this week so I plan to do some exciting reading about Sweden. Reading usually calms me down. </p>
<p>Also, I do not take medication for trichotillomania. Actually, I have never taken any type of med. I haven’t even had an advil or tums. The only thing I take is acidophilus, an amino acid, and fish oil. I always just drink a cup of tea when I don’t feel well. With the exception of trich (had sinse 5th grade), I have no health problems.</p>
<p>Lastly, my goal next semester is to get a 4.0 unweighted, which is about a 4.3 weighted. Surely, this will give my GPA a large boost.</p>
<p>Well, I’m no expert on medicine by any means. I just have heard that trichotillomania is understood to be a mild version of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and there may be medications for it. But you have to ask parents for a visit with the family doctor to see if there’s a prescription, and if it’s advisable at your age. Then I suppose you’d have a trial of a low dose of that medicine, under doctor’s supervision of course. </p>
<p>While you are there, do you think you want to ask the family doctor if you’d be right for some family counseling or therapy, just to get through this bad time of your parents divorcing? Maybe you need someone to talk to on a regular basis, over the next weeks or months, as they go through all of this. </p>
<p>Is there a school nurse to talk to? Some of them are sympathetic listeners, too.</p>
<p>Plus, all the things you know how to do for yourself, like tea and reading! Do all you can for yourself, take care of YOU.</p>
<p>I commend you for not taking any medications. You must have led a very healthy life. All meds have side effects and are generally bad for the body, but sometimes people have to weigh out the benefits vs. the risks. I think we’re all better off without them unless absolutely necessary. </p>
<p>talk to your parents, is them who are divorcing not you, and perhaps is for their good. At the long run, they’ll be ok, and you will be ok too. you don’t let down anybody. concentrate in what good you have to offer. Also, you need no medications! what type of advise is that? how can you learn to deal if you are drugged up?</p>
<p>Trichotillimania can be secondary to anxiety or obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Don’t totally rule out medication, if necessary, for anxiety and mood issues. The meds that are typically indicted for this do not have “depressing” side effects. Do consider at the very least talking to you school counselor about all the stressors in your life. Dealing with divorce is difficult, and you are not to blame for their decisions. Take good care of yourself!</p>