I decided to go to the informal gathering at a bar/restaurant the night before my 40th - I figured that I could leave more easily from that than from a dinner if I wanted to escape. And it was a good call. I was transported back to feeling awkward, and I didn’t like it. When a guy who absolutely knew me told me he didn’t remember me at all, I knew I didn’t need to be there. H & I left, went down the street to a lively outdoor bar, bellied up to the bar, told my story to the anonymous bartender & patrons, and had a blast. I didn’t feel judged, I didn’t feel left out.
If my BFF comes to town for our 50th, I would go. She wasn’t at the 40th. If she doesn’t come for the 50th, I definitely won’t go.