Describe Yourself In High School - Be Honest

Parent Cafe
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My parents felt their duty was to get each of us to school with lunch money. The rest was on us, as there were 7 of us kids. When I was in HS mom had started full time substitute teaching to help provide funds for college for us (she went back for a 2nd masters in special ed when I was in intermediate school and I ran the household for a few years).

My parents showed up for teacher conferences, one awards assembly when I was in intermediate school where I got an award. They also went to all the basketball games of my youngest sibling. Not too much other involvement. Attended our HS graduations and in state college graduations plus one stanford undergrad graduation.

With 7 of us kids, yup we were largely “free range.”

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I would describe myself as smart, musical, popular-adjacent, and busy until my junior year of high school.

A big deal at my high school in the town where I grew up were, “service clubs.” These were gender divided organizations sponsored by the Rotary Club, Lions Club, etc. While divided by gender the clubs were, “paired,” (interestingly usually not by sponsoring organization). Senior members got to choose a big brother/little sister. These could cross lines among clubs. Each of these organizations tended to draw different types of people. The selection process was akin to Greek rush/recruitment and not everyone got in. I was in the smart, “good girl,” group. But I had friends in the party girl group as well. Other high school activities were band (though I stopped after my sophomore year), NHS, and French Club. I tried out for the drill team but did not make it. I was also involved in a lot of extra curricular activities outside of high school - guitar lessons, dance lessons, cotillion, and both regular church attendance and church youth group. Around 650 in my class.

Until - my senior year of high school when we moved. Several states away and to a much smaller town with a much smaller high school. Academic offerings were fewer (no A/P classes), and my English and Math classes were repeats of what I’d done in the 11th grade. Calculus wasn’t offered. No French offered. I was in NHS and wrote for the school paper. I probably should have picked up band again when we moved, but I didn’t. 114 people in my graduating class.

Moving away for my senior year from the town I’d lived in my whole was tough. However, there was a benefit in being the new girl. Even though I wasn’t nearly as active, I was instantly brought into the popular group because my daddy was a doctor. One other positive was, while I had never dated at my former high school, I had a really wonderful steady boyfriend who was captain of the football team at the rival high school. That gave me the homecoming and prom dates I would have never had otherwise.

I have two good friends from my graduating high school with whom I stay connected. Many more from my true hometown high school. I have been to several reunions for both.

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I knew someone here had to have dated the captain of a football team!

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My HS boyfriend was not an athlete. But my H was football captain at another HS. Does that count? :blush:

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Well, you didn’t get his reflected glory in HS, but I’ll count it!

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Yes, that counts!

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Timely topic—I am deciding whether to attend my HS reunion. I went to the ten and twenty year, we did not have a thirty, and Covid stopped a planned forty.

I was and am a big nerd. I did well in school and tested well. I was curious and interested in all kinds of topics, mostly science and politics related. That made me weird in my small, red neck town. Girls didn’t do those things. I was often the only girl in a class or activity. Yet, I was undeterred, completely unself-conscious. In retrospect, I think I watched too many After School Specials and took their message to heart too much. I used to write angry letters to the editor of the local paper and not tell my folks, who would find out when they opened the paper in the morning. What a weird kid!

However, I was also blond and buxom and yes, on dance team and a cheerleader. I learned early the power of those traits and also the risks of possessing them. As bold as I was about my opinions, I was self conscious about my looks and awkward around other girls. Boys were easier to understand. Never popular, not sure I was even popular adjacent because I was so different, but I did go to proms and dances. I dropped out of cheer/dance my senior year and focused on nerdy pursuits. I was so happy to find girls like me when I went away to college.

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Well if you also dates the captain of the football team, we may have to bow down to you…. :wink:

If you go to your reunion, BE YOU! I think it’s amazing that you stayed true to yourself then and now.

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I decided to go to the informal gathering at a bar/restaurant the night before my 40th - I figured that I could leave more easily from that than from a dinner if I wanted to escape. And it was a good call. I was transported back to feeling awkward, and I didn’t like it. When a guy who absolutely knew me told me he didn’t remember me at all, I knew I didn’t need to be there. H & I left, went down the street to a lively outdoor bar, bellied up to the bar, told my story to the anonymous bartender & patrons, and had a blast. I didn’t feel judged, I didn’t feel left out.

If my BFF comes to town for our 50th, I would go. She wasn’t at the 40th. If she doesn’t come for the 50th, I definitely won’t go.

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Ha ha! Well, he was captain of the RIVAL high school team. He was a nose guard. Fun fact - his thighs were the same size as my waist - ha ha.

It was kind of nice dating a boy that went to a different school. No distractions AT school. Senior year was a breeze for me because the academics weren’t as strong at the smaller, more rural high school.

One observation I have about high school size. I think there is less of a division of popular kids v non-popular kids in a larger high school. So many more offerings at a larger high school because there were many groups. It was very easy to find a tribe of people with similar interests at the larger high school. There were many groups of people focused on a wide variety of interests. Band, orchestra, chorus, Latin club (hugely cool at my larger high school) service clubs, French, German, and Spanish clubs. Student government, theater, athletics (including swimming, diving, tennis). The aforementioned service clubs. So many more clubs/organizations to belong to. Many different labels to be had. Yes, I would say the cheerleader/football and basketball athlete crowd were considered more popular. And, honestly, my high school friends from the larger high school now marvel that really has no mean girls. Out high school football team was a power house (still is), and that was a unifying factor. Another unique rule at my larger high school high school was that football players and cheerleaders were ineligible for the homecoming court.

Thr smaller high school was much different. Fewer organizations, so you were either in the cool/popular kids group or you were not. Much more cliquey.

Edit: I cannot type for :poop:. I was re-reading this to dh and was appalled. Too many to fix. May the odds be ever in your favor if you try to read this :rofl:

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I had an opposite thing happen. A classmate of mine was in a terrific band that continues to play. One of my sisters saw this band at a pub, and someone she knew introduced her to my classmate. Classmate asked if my sister was any relation to me…so she told him.

He claimed he had a crush on me all the way through high school.

I can tell you with certainly…he wouldn’t have walked across the hallway to say hello to me in high school!

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I was maid-of-honor at my BF’s wedding. The captain of our HS football team was part of her friend group since elementary school and was an usher at the wedding. He and I had emceed the senior variety show together and were reminiscing during the reception. After a few glasses of wine, he told me he had the biggest crush on me all that year. I asked why he never asked me out, and he said because I was “unattainable.” Plus, I was going steady with the captain of the track team (who was better looking :wink:), and I guess guys have a code about that. :joy:

I definitely plan to attend our 50th next September. All of our reunions are well-attended, and I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone. I’m still pretty close with several of my classmates, two of whom married and visited us for a week here at the cabin last month. Over the years, DH has come to know and like all of my old friends, too, so he looks forward to these parties as much as I do.

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In my HS, cheerleaders were the upper echelon! No one topped a cheerleader in popularity.

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And today that is so not the case!

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I was far enough out of the popularity loop that I don’t know what groups were most popular. Our football team lost nearly every game (as I recall, we had a season with 0 wins), and football did not dominate social events, so I wouldn’t assume football players and cheerleaders were most popular. Whatever group was most popular, it was many divisions away from me. I mostly interacted with students in honors classes and took several classes with students in higher grade levels, including being a half-time student at nearby university while in high school. I tended to get along better with persons a few years older than myself than persons my own age, including women. I was very independent, and had my share of issues. Things could have gone quite badly for me, with a few different decisions during HS or different random external events.

I was more interested in video games than HS school ECs/sports, and was published as the first person to finish a few popular games. I also worked out regularly during HS and was in outstanding physical condition by senior year. When I was on the shuttlebus from airport to college at Stanford, the kid sharing the ride assumed I was on the football team based on my appearance and the way I carried myself. He asked me several related questions about the college’s football team.

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Ours too and they are always fun.

And over the years, all those high school cliques have just vanished. It’s really nice to have conversations with so many classmates every five years now.

I’m also an invited guest to the reunion for the class that graduated a year before me, and I look forward to those also. I had lots of friends in that class, and many I still keep in touch with.

Plus my reunions are in the town where my family lives…so I probably would be visiting anyway!

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I love this thread! I love hearing who you all were!

I was uprooted from a happy hippy life in the Oregon woods and had good friends at middle school there. Strange family circumstances changed everything and I was forced to start my freshman year of high school in Southern California. I was a fish out of water and was not the person I wanted to be. (This is VERY weird for me to think about now. There is absolutely no way current me would be happy living in the woods of Oregon, much as I still love the place.)

I was uncool, but I wished I wasn’t. I had a small friend group. None of them were cool either, but one was a very good looking girl and by association, that made me not a total loser. However, there was a small group of “cool” guys who liked to tease me. Some might call it bullying these days, but I’m not sure it went that far. Many years later, one of those guys is now a FB friend and apologized to me.

I did a couple of awkward and dumb teen things that weren’t very nice, but it stemmed from being awkward and dumb, rather than mean. The one regret was dumping a guy in front of everyone after we went to homecoming together. I did it to be cool and it was wrong. I should find him and apologize.

I didn’t enjoy high school. Almost no sporting events. Never been to a class reunion. I did enjoy learning. I enjoyed all of my classes, except for anything to do with math. I was a good student, but totally unmotivated and got occasional B and C grades. I had no goals and a family situation that was very unsupportive. Not blaming them. I just had no clue about where life would take me and no interest in “going away to college.”

I went to CC and have no regrets about that though, because I think it was ultimately instrumental in how my life has turned out. After a lot of time-wasting, getting put on academic probation at CC, dropping classes and repeating classes, I transferred to CSULB and did study abroad, which completely transformed my life.

It would have been nice to have had a better experience in high school, but I wonder even today how my life would have been different if I had been a popular kid. In the early 80’s, I found my personality. I was very much an uber-80’s new wave girl. No Debbie Gibson for me, haha. Give me Depeche Mode and Echo and the Bunnymen any day.

@tamagotchi I relate to you entirely.

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I dated the mascot at another school. Concur that dating someone from another school was great. Added an air of mystery to me, I think. He sent flowers to my school for my birthday sophomore year, and people were all “Uh, who are those from???” :rofl:

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I have to be honest. If I went to a reunion, the main % of those attending would be those who still live in the town. And from what I know or have seen there is little I would have in common with them and our world beliefs and values are SO not on the same page. I think it would be my personal hell. (Hate to sound negative but….)

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I don’t think my high school or my class does reunions. Certainly I’ve never heard that they do. Doesn’t matter, I live far away from there and wouldn’t go anyway.