desperate measures to attract a girl

College Confidential Community
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<p>^^
Dunno if looks are “80%” of the game when attracting girls…more like half of that or even less (my opinion :p). I think Personality (confidence/charm) and Attitude play a far more important roles and those are all you need pretty much. Looks for guys are great for first impression but that pretty much it. I mean if a girl likes you than she pretty much loves the way you look no matter how ugly you are. Thats why you see gorgeous girls hooking up with fat/ugly dudes. And not all “hot/handsome” guys are with hot girls</p>

<p>On the other hand, for guys, looks (like 80%-90%)are a bigger role for girls attracting guys. I mean any “hot” girl can pretty much get with any guy unless she is not a b*****.</p>

<p>To the OP. We are offering you advice on your questions. If you are just ignoring those advice, so you can be “extraordinary”. Then I (and others maybe) dunno what to do. Some thing as “simple” as attracting a girl doesn’t require an “extraordinary” person to do it. Any person can do it. Your wanting to do a heroic battle with some evil forces is great and all…dunno if it can help with this simple problem. Do some Actions instead of searching for that battle… How about giving our great/ordinary advice :stuck_out_tongue: a try before ignoring them for their normalcy. I mean it worth a shot…</p>

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<p>haha, this whole thread is a funny idea. “I can’t get a girlfriend, hmmmm…I KNOW! maybe the folks who spend 10 hours a day hunting through meaninglessly anal college message boards know how to help me”.
(Don’t get offended, i’m including myself in that)
As a girl, i say, don’t worry about it! If you have the attitude of I NEED A GIRLFRIEND you are just going to a)scare more girl’s off with your over eagerness or b)get into a terrible relationship where you will get walked all over and most likely dumped.
Your young, (says a 19 year old) be single, it’s ok. in fact it’s probably best to be at this weird transitional college stage- it allows you to put your own best interest, completely uncomplicated by someone else’s life, first.</p>

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<p>horrible strategy your doomed for imminent failure or picking up some goth/artsy chick</p>

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<p>The biggest factors in having the confidence to attract girls are:</p>

<p>A) Self-acceptance: you have to accept your intrinsic worth as a human being. There is no objective measure by which people can say “you suck” inherently or as a human being. You can never be a failure, but you can fail in certain tasks.</p>

<p>B) Be willing to make mistakes: I used to be very afraid in talking to girls because I thought I would make mistakes. But it turns out, now I just start talking about ANYTHING, especially emotions, and this works.</p>

<p>C) Talk about yourself: people like Dale Carnegie taught us all to ask questions, and yes ask questions sometimes, but don’t be afraid to talk about yourself. Another BIG thing is, don’t talk about concrete things…talk about small things. So don’t say “I’m a concert pianist and I do blah blah blah,” but rather be like, “I keep hearing this song in the mall, it sounds familiar maybe like a classical piece?” or something, don’t talk about traditional facts about yourself.</p>

<p>D) Skip conventional ******** talking: I’ve made out with girls without knowing their names, but still knowing a lot about them. Don’t go through formalities like “whats your name,” etc.</p>

<p>E) Practice practice practice, talk to everyone, everything</p>

<p>F) Be an individual. BE YOURSELF, sure you can improve, but at one stage, don’t be afraid to look stupid. I realized how much easier **** was when I could walk around without combing my hair and still feel comfortable…sure dress well, etc. but do it for YOURSELF, not for others. Be an individual, and don’t be a dick who criticizes other ppl based on shallow stuff like “he doesn’t dress well,” or “his name is weird,” etc. etc. Judge people based on personality and goodness rather than on stupid stuff.</p>

<p>Just my two cents.</p>

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<p>^^^great advice…every guy should read that once over.</p>

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<p>i agree with B, but not A and C. i make lot of mistakes and people should know from these clumsy mistakes how UNFORTUNATE i am from lack of talent or perfection. </p>

<p>i think the REAL cause for my eccentricity and lack of social skills (among ordinary people) is because i’m an only-child. if i had siblings, i could have learned from them, interacted with them, received help from them. especially an older sibling would have prepared me to become the popular, outoging, funny, kind, affectionate, etc. man. but, no matter…i still have something to play and that is religion!! if all my srategems for succeeding in life fails, i can always have the Bible the comfort me…for even at church i am alienated and excluded.</p>

<p>by the way, what do u people talk about with ur girlfriend/boyfriend? ur work, school, etc.? or something that is actually meaningful like religion or philosophy?</p>

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<p>I talk about everything with my boyfriend. Usually we start off with the “how was your day?” and that leads to discussions about school/work, which for me usually leads to discussions about philosophy or politics (or for him, architecture/art). We also talk alot about travelling, books/movies/music, and our group of friends (more for planning group nights out, not gossip). </p>

<p>That being said, we’ve been together for a really long time, so we’ve pretty much got everything covered. I don’t think there’s anything we can’t talk about.</p>

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<p>^looks are 80-90% of the equation, though…people think they see ugly guys w/hot girls, but it’s so incredibly rare to be noteworthy. I go to clubs and bars a lot, 95% of the time a hot girl is w/a very handsome, tall man. 4% of the time there w/an average guy, 1% of the time the guy is fat/ugly/unusually short.
You can have an awful personality, treat girls like crap, but if you look like brad pitt, you’ll have girls all over you w/pretty much no effort.
There are those guys that are average or even ugly, but have tons of game, and manage to get a hot girl every once in a while, but it requires huge effort on their part as they much approach a huge number of women for it to work.
However, a great looking guy that never leaves his house and never approaches or engages in social activity will have a way worse chance than the average looking guy w/killer game.</p>

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<p>listen here, its simple, u get a friend take him to a club, u tell that friend to hit on a girl in a sleaze bag way, u go and kick his ass, and then cry because ur chivalry forced u to act in such a way…Strong and Sensitive, i dare any girl to deny that this will work. 99% of the time the girl will say this exactly “OH my u are quite a strong and sensitve and i understand that u are a man who was forced to act due to timeless social stigma, that men need to be protectors”</p>

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<p>Here’s an idea: try talking to girls. Seriously. I am a shy girl, and if a guy (regardless of his looks) started talking to me I would be way more likely to date him than a hot guy that doesn’t talk to me. Makes sense.</p>

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<p>sauronvoldemort - come back and post some more. college life is boring without you</p>

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<p>i’m so tired and depressed. i spent three days in la to see if i can live by myself once i go to ucla…it wasn’t physically difficult to take care of myself, but the psychological effect was unbearable. i see people walking about without a clue, shepherdless…i guess i’m too used to the solitude here in riverside county. i kept longing for lake skinner and wineries, the meadows and serene undulations of gentle hills, the solitude, a mild cloudy weather…i have a distant childhood memories of visiting my cousins in an estate with glimpses of memory of small mountains, a vast lake, …a dark one-story house…a grand piano and a girl fitting into a dress. </p>

<p>i guess, i will not push myself to find a girlfriend. first, i must resolve my admiration for this girl whom i cannot bring myself to approach 10 feet near her. for the time being, i will keep fantasizing about romantic conquests, missionary heroism in asia, angelic women that doesn’t exist, and about male beauty.</p>

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<p>^kidding aside, you’ll get a girlfriend unless your ridiculously, insanely ugly. Just don’t be too superficial in your own tastes. </p>

<p>And go out and talk to girls! Doesn’t matter what you say. Don’t worry about seeming weird. Some of them will find your affect charming.</p>

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<p>wutang, you have an awesome username.</p>

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<p>Is this a joke?</p>

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<p>yeah man, you’ve got to get out there and meet people.
not just girls but people, maybe a friend can set you up or you’ll meet someone through them… Good luck.</p>

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<p>Try searching your local yellow pages under “escorts”.</p>

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<p>How many people in this thread are A) Older than 18 and B) Have had a relationship that was successful and meaningful?</p>

<p>From the looks of it, not many.</p>

<p>Let me lay it out there right now-- I’m a 20 year old male, pretty smart guy, pretty average looking, slightly overweight but very athletic kind of guy-- broad shoulders, muscular chest, but a bit of a gut kind of look. I’ve had pretty decent success with women and have even had a 2.5 year relationship with a girl no one would expect me to be able to pick up.</p>

<p>Here’s what it comes down to:

  1. Be comfortable with who you are and embrace it. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, no one else will be comfortable with you. Before someone can learn to appreciate who you are you need to make sure you’re ok with presenting that to someone without hiding behind anything.
  2. Be honest. This is a policy I apply to friendships and to relationships alike. There are times when people seek out someone who will simply reassure them in life. You don’t need to be that person. Gain the respect of your peers by making sure they know they’re going to get the real deal from you. I have friends who never would have crossed cliques to talk to a person normally who are very close to me because they heard I’m fair and brutally honest. Relationship trouble? If he’s not doing right by you and isn’t what you deserve, I’m going to tell you. It may not make you smile, it may even make you upset, and I’ll be there to deal with either reaction, but you’ll know that when you’re ready to come to me you’re going to get the truth, the whole story. You’re not going to get someone who’s just trying to impress you, and you’re not going to get someone struggling to provide an amicable answer. You’re going to get honest, sincere advice. People often mistake this for wisdom-- it’s not. Just because I feel comfortable sharing my true judgment doesn’t mean it’s always right, but it is what I see from the world around me and that’s not something most are willing to share.
  3. Make friends. A relationship is just sex without a friendship. If you’ve yet to make some truly fantastic bonds of friendship, you can forget about anything meaningful in terms of a relationship. This is true especially of making friends with the opposite sex. The best preparation for a relationship is a few great close female friends. They’ll teach you what it means to interact with a woman and to gain comfort. I’m glad I had female friends at an early age, I never viewed women as a scary thing.
  4. Speak up. So many wonderful girls go unnoticed because everyone around them who would even consider making the pass don’t think they have a chance or are too nervous to take a chance. Girls don’t necessarily flock to the best guy for them in the room-- it’s the best guy with the balls to even approach that they’ll start to be interested in. It starts with a conversation, some casual flirting, see how she responds, get a feel for how far the flirting is still comfortable. This is where charm and moves come in-- it’s ok to flirt! Learn the skill, it’s quite important when trying to get a gauge on any potential. Start off with normal conversation, get to know the girl, respect her for who she is, present yourself for who you are. At some point, switch from that stage (and it doesnt’ have to be at first meeting) to a more flirtatious attitude. Find the line with that activity-- you’ll very soon know whether friends is friends or could be more. Flirting is our way of saying, “I’m here and getting interested,” or putting up a “Friends only” wall.
  5. **** the gym for women. If you’re going to do something like that, do it for yourself. Be prepared to do some things for yourself. A woman who becomes your friend out of pity will never see you as strong enough to support a good relationship. There is a need for each person to have their own power, their own sense of standing alone before you can stand together.<br>
  6. Which brings me to the final thought for the moment-- respect. Respect yourself so she sees you as someone worth respecting and respect her because that’s the one thing that every woman you ever meet deserves-- friends or more. Simply respecting women will take you further than you can imagine.</p>
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<p>byronic hero is not the way to go. try again</p>

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<p>LOLed. (10char)</p>