<p>Every fall I’m besieged by panicked freshmen (or their parents) who are sure they’ve made the wrong college choice. Many are talking about transferring even before their classes have started … or their suitcases are unpacked. Yet over the years I’ve found that some of the students who are most distraught at the beginning of their college careers end up as the happiest campers by graduation … and without ever switching schools.</p>
<p>Did YOU hate your college at the start of your first year? If yes, did you stick it out anyway? Are you happy with your decision now?</p>
<p>I thought about it because I know my parents were disappointed that I chose Clemson (they definitely wanted me to go to Purdue or Virginia Tech because they were ranked higher for engineering) but I’m so glad I didn’t now that I get to see the people I met last year. I would definitely hate to have to start over somewhere else.</p>
<p>I think that often when a student wants to transfer immediately, the parents have a lot to do with it. Some, like pierre0913’s parents, probably didn’t ever like the chosen college so they are looking for any excuse to get their child somewhere else. And many parents can’t handle their kid being at all unhappy. So, at the first sign of disappointment (or, God forbid, tears!) they want to make it “all better” by saying that the college is the wrong place to be.</p>
<p>From my experience, I, too, feel that it’s often the parents who are driving the transfer train … usually not so much because they disapproved of the college choice from the get-go but because, as Portmore suggests, they can’t bear to think that their child is unhappy, even for an afternoon.</p>
<p>Commonly, the reasons I get for the “bad fit” are either annoyances that can usually be remedied with a minimal amount of persistence like “My faculty advisor has no knowledge of pre-med requirements” or premature complaints which shouldn’t be made on Day Two of college such as, “Everyone here just wants to party.”</p>
<p>Instead of crying, “Transfer!!” the parents should be making suggestions along the lines of, “Insist on a advisor switch or make an appointment with the pre-health-professions advisor” and “Look for clubs to join that attract scientists, poets, chess players, mountain climbers, etc. who are likely to have other priorities.”</p>
<p>Granted, not every college is right for every student, but I do feel that the first few weeks of school rarely provide enough time to determine that a choice is all wrong.</p>
<p>I actually thought more than once about just going to a technical school. I could have gotten a degree there sooner, taken more subjects related to my major, and it would have been cheaper. Instead I just transferred from community college to university. On one hand I regret just not going the technical route from the beginning- there would have been so much I wouldn’t have had to worry about, and it would have been SO cheap. I found a technical school with a really good program for my major, which is the reason I considered this.</p>
<p>Anyway, on the other hand I guess I’m pretty glad I didn’t. By going to a university I get to spend more time studying additional subjects I love- like history.</p>
<p>Would you mind sharing your reasons, hi<em>im</em>leila? And was this a top-choice college when you applied? How is it different than what you’d expected?</p>
<p>Well, I thought I was ready to move 2,000 miles away from home, but that seems not to be the case. I was seriously convinced in my mind that I was making the perfect choice as to where to go to college. It really was one of my top choices. My problem is that after a week, it seems like everyone I know has developed cliques already and I just kind of feel on the outside. There’s no one here that I can really connect with. I know good friendships take time, but I feel really lonely. The people at my school are great for the most part; they’re really nice… I just don’t see myself being best friends with any of these people. I’m also in a huge party dorm and I’m not like that at all… I’m fine with partying but these people take it to the extreme. I just haven’t found anyone who I can be myself around yet. I’m REALLY homesick too, which I never thought would happen. My parents call all the time which doesn’t help, either. I try to pretend like I’m having the time of my life when I’m on the phone of them but pretty soon I’m going to get sick of pretending. I just haven’t found my niche yet and I’m scared I never will.</p>
<p>My D moved far away and pretended too. I was blown away when I found out. Anyway, things got better after first semester, by end of the second semester she was no longer thinking of transferring, and by end of that summer, she couldn’t wait to get back. Loved sophomore year, and is now a junior. She is spending this semester at a different school, and she is missing “her” school now! </p>
<p>I considered it. I didn’t really have any friends for the first month or so of school. Now I have friends and something to do in my free time. So I’m happier.</p>
<p>I don’t think that makes him selfish because he gave up Georgetown. If you are just going to criticize him and question his manhood, why bother replying at all? I just don’t understand some of the people on this forum. =</p>
<p>For some people, being away from their family even for a small period of time can be tough. It can be DAUNTING, especially if it is the first time. Of course, they’ll eventually have to get out of that, but if you are to the point where you feel sick physically and can’t sleep, why continue to torture yourself?</p>
<p>I was sort of in your shoes and I live an hour away from my school! I didn’t like being here at Rutgers my first semester. I wanted to live at home and commute to a school in Manhattan because I just wanted to be with my parents and my dog. I feared that if I were away that something bad would happen to them because of their health issues.</p>
<p>The thing is that I really did like Rutgers. I wanted to go there in the first place, so for me I just figured I needed to toughen up and just stick through it. I would have hate to transfer out of there because I really did LOVE the school. Thing have gotten better since I started two years ago. I’ve slowly gotten over my shyness and have been able to feel less homesick. Once in a while I do come home for the weekend, but I don’t think about coming home everyday like I was my first year.</p>
<p>Hang in there! You made the right choice. You didn’t want to be there in the first place, so it is best that you got out earlier before things got worse. I will admit though, I think I would have said otherwise if you actually wanted to go to Georgetown in the first place (of course in a more respectful and helpful matter than that other poster). The reason being that it would have been ashamed if you let your emotions get to you for you to give up a school that you loved and dream of going to. But if you didn’t care for Georgetown which you made clear, don’t feel guilty.</p>
<p>You have to realize that eventually you’ll have to get over being away from your family. I know it’s tough! I think you should start slowly. Maybe you can transfer to Rutgers or any college close by for your second semester. You’ll be able to go to a school you were actually interested in AND you’ll be right in Jersey near your family. You can start slow by visiting them every other week, then a month or so. You just have to start off small. Eventually, you’ll hopefully find yourself feeling more comfortable with being away from your family for a while! ^__^</p>
<p>Yeah, I could have done more? Wrong. I couldn’t have done more. Why? Because when you’re the son of two almost lower-class immigrants, grow up in one of the worst urban cities in the country, and you go to one of the worst high schools in the country, there’s not much you can do. I was never given the same opportunities that some of you kids have had.</p>
<p>I went to tough, ghetto high school in urban NJ. And when I say “tough”, I by no means, mean that the classes were hard. I mean “tough”, as in everyday was a struggle for me to not come home with a broken face. I mean “tough”, as in the school was rampant with gangs, and even if weren’t in one that didn’t stop people from stabbing you in the neck. I mean “tough”, as in the teachers just didn’t care about you, at all.</p>
<p>I went to the most populated high school in the United States. One year, I was in a class with 70 people. Great place to learn.</p>
<p>BTW, in case, you’re wondering, six of the top ten graduates went on to community college, including the valedictorian.</p>
<p>The average GPA was about 2.2. Meaning if you had a 2.3 GPA, you were in the top 50%.</p>
<p>Why bother replying at all? What kind of a stupid question is that? You know, why I replied. It’s obvious. I’m trying to help the guy out. </p>
<p>I’m not going to to sit here and sweet talk the guy like, “Hey, sweetie, I don’t think this is a good idea . Ok, buddy? :]”. I’m not going to do that. I wasn’t trying to be friendly. I was trying to voice my opinion. I’m trying to help the guy out, not become his best friend. I gave him my direct, uncensored opinion, and frankly I don’t care whether he liked it or not, but it was as real of an answer as anybody would give him.</p>
<p>BTW, I never questioned his manhood. All I said was that while reading his post, I mistaken him for a female. However, I never called him a female or said that he may be one. I was just shocked to realize he wasn’t one.</p>
<p>Haha! I’m already thinkin about transferring. I’m kinda miserable here (academics is great thoug) but generally you can get great academics anywhere. I don’t want to “pollute” the forum with “repeat threads” so if the OP doesn’t me asking this, how do schools you turned down look at you as a transfer student? I was deciding between Vassar and the school I am at here and obviously I choose my current school. So lets say if I were to submit a transfer application to Vassar, how would they view me? Would they be like “you rejected us, so now we’re going to reject you!” lol.</p>
<p>I know Transfer is competitive but I’ll see how it goes if I go through with it.</p>
<p>It’s how you went about. I’m not saying that you have to reply with a happy face and words like “hun” or “sweetie” and “don’t worry buddy”, but at the same time don’t attack the guy. The tone of your post was pretty hostile. The guy is already feeling down and feeling confused. The last thing he needs is for someone to make him feel like total crap because he left school and didn’t feel comfortable being far away from his family. And the “mommy and daddy” part was a bit condescending. It’s almost like you are mocking him. </p>
<p>I brought up the questioning of his manhood part because you keep telling him to “man up!” So the guy can’t feel sad that he is away from his family? This type of feeling is not limited to only female college students. And then you went about trying to make him feel guilty because he decided to drop out of Georgetown – calling him selfish and immature. How is that helping someone out? That whole part was completely unnecessary.</p>
<p>I just find it a shame how kids can’t even post their problems on this forum without having at least one person replying with a “jerk” reply. I guess it gets me ticked off easily because I know how tough it can be for some people to adjust to college. And to see people criticize instead of giving words of advice/encouragement or complaining “another one of these again?” it irks me. </p>
<p>Or maybe I’m just being oversensitive. But I can’t help it. I hate when people try to reach out for help and they just get a hostile response. That’s why some people are reluctant to ask for help =</p>
<p>Amen bro. I’m the son of two lower-middle class immigrants here (not some of those lucky immigrants who end up being doctors or professionals or whatever…) and I totally get what you mean. Some people here in America really don’t get how lucky they have it…they really don’t, and sometimes that annoys the crap out of me too. We may not have been given the same opportunities as others have had, who have their parents grooming them all their lives for Harvard or ivies or whatever, but as long as we keep working as hard as we can we’ll end up better than them.</p>