<p>It seems to me that what most often dooms a marriage is a mismatch in personalities, rather than a mismatch in age, background, etc.</p>
<p>Sometime different personalities meld together well. But… I have read that varying views on money can really stress a marriane. </p>
<p>Some of H’s relatives and many of mine were NOT crazy about our marriage, but it felt right to both of us to marry our best friend. They are all glad our marriage has endured and that we have been very happy. It can be hard to KNOW what makes one relationship work well and another not–it’s a combo of many things.</p>
<p>I think similar personalities makes it tougher (sometimes). Mismatches have a better chance in certain ways. Two neatniks (ocd) will never agree on specifically where and how everything should be. Its better to have one party who doesn’t give a hoot about the things the other person cares about. It makes compromise easier. </p>
<p>Of course. I have a good friend who had a tumultuous dating time but of course went ahead and got married super young. It’s a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship and she found out he was cheating on her just a few months into the marriage. She’s, of course, pregnant and they’re going through “counseling” but everyone is encouraging her to just get a divorce and move on. (She’s Christian and adamantly against divorce on religious grounds.) </p>
<p>I recently found out that my soon to be MIL and a brother in law didn’t think my partner and I would last. He’s extremely laid back and go with the flow. I’m, well, not. (That is EXACTLY what makes us work though) </p>
<p>No, I don’t see couples where I know it won’t last. I see couples where it SHOULDN’T last. Sometimes the spouses of toxic people just stick it out forever. Very sad.</p>
<p>
You might be interested in reading any of the books on the topic by John Gottman, or 2 articles that have appeared in “The Atlantic” magazine [ul][<em>]<a href=“The Secret to Love Is Just Kindness - The Atlantic”>The Secret to Love Is Just Kindness - The Atlantic; [</em>] <a href=“Can the Government Prevent Divorce? - The Atlantic”>Can the Government Prevent Divorce? - The Atlantic;
<p>Did anyone see the 3-question “compatibility test” from OKCupid that made the rounds a while back? Couples who had the same answers to the following three questions were most likely to be compatible/stay together (determined by statistics on thousands of users).</p>
<ol>
<li>Do you like horror movies?</li>
<li>Have you ever traveled around another country alone?</li>
<li>Wouldn’t it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?</li>
</ol>
<p>(H and I are opposites in many ways, but we do have the same answers to these questions–no, yes, yes. Perhaps it is only our mutual dislike of horror movies that keeps us together 
)</p>
<p>I have a relative who is 49. Before marriage she actually caught her then boyfriend in bed with another woman. The relationship continued and they eventually got married. Well, H continued his wayward ways with the women. They talked divorce but it never happened. About 10 years ago, W said that H had changed his ways and is now responsible and faithful. Go figure as they just celebrated their 23rd last week.</p>