@GeorgiaC - you are correct. My daughter received Merit as well as a generous amount of FA from Union. Much more than anywhere else. Especially surprised because our EFC is what it is.
@Sarrip , i think we crossed paths on a fordham post. Maybe about nmf and merit. We are in a similar predicament. Our choices will be SUNY Binghamton, or a no merit ivy (if she gets in), or a full tuition merit to a college that hasnt got amazing name recognition like a Muhlenberg. I would be happy to chat with you by messaging me.
Actually, picking cheapest college and not spending a single dollar on college seems to be the popular choice here for CC parents. Do you really think wishes of students are the driving force among average demographic?
Anyways, as a very small number get accepted at “T20” and even smaller number of families have enough financial resources to choose, it’s not applicable for the majority. For many with aid, these colleges are more affordable than lower ranking public colleges. For many with resources, it’s only about sacrifice of current material lifestyle. For many, it can mean a poor retirement or debt. For some, it’s like not buying a luxury car for the kid.
You decide what seems right for you and your child. Forget what rest of the town is doing. You can’t put same ring on every finger.
What you can gather from this thread, is about majority of kids will accept parental choices and do their best to make it work and majority succeeds quite well. However, it’s not all as easy or great as you may hear from parents defending their decisions or limitation. You may have to talk to those kids to get the whole picture.
@silverpurple -I messaged you.
I also wonder how much intended major comes into play. When there are no financial concerns, do some people make the “unpopular choice” because their kid is interested in STEM, or planning on going to graduate school anyway? I see many posters on CC who talk about how little it matters which engineering program a student attends, or make it all about undergrad GPA so students can get into a great grad school, where “it really matters.”
But, what about kids who are humanities majors and don’t plan on grad school?
I went to an ivy, and my major was English. Before deciding to pursue a PhD I interviewed with several top consulting firms that came to campus, and I received generous offers. I never had to leave campus for an initial job interview because they all came to us. Would I have had the same opportunities at my fingertips with the same major at a lower ranked school? It’s just speculation on my part, but I seriously doubt it.
I would be more concerned about an English major at a college ranked #150-200, than the same major at a T20 college. I’m not saying there aren’t English majors from colleges ranked >100 that have successful careers (so no need to bombard me with anecdotal evidence), but there are some fields where the spread is not as great for job prospects.
@ProfSD absolutely that came into play for us. S19 didn’t want engineering or business and right now isn’t planning grad school, so launching into the work force from undergrad with a liberal arts degree did seem trickier from a lower ranked school. He planned on being a math major but we knew that could change since he loves to write and is interested in all subjects. We felt having a “name” school behind him that has strong alumni support was important and worth spending more. We saw the alumni factor in action a number of times before he committed. He met many students who found getting internships fairly easily with alumni help and Bowdoin’s career center has many programs that help kids decide on major and figure out what jobs that major could lead to.
If he wanted to be an engineer, we would have pushed UIUC pretty hard. Or if he wanted to go to med school, he would have been more open to big fish little pond scenario. Both would have been way less expensive.
Same scenario for D21.
To state the obvious, this thread is really just for families making over $150-180k.
If your kid gets into an Ivy and it is the most affordable option, most will go to the Ivy. There are actually some who make another choice, believe it or not, and that would better meet the implication of the title of the thread.
There are some here who would criticize them for picking their financial safety. 
??? @sailakeerie if an Ivy is the most affordable (most likely due to aid), then it IS the safety.
If the applicant is admitted to a college that is affordable, that college is now a safety (even if it was a reach at the time of application).
However, it is entirely possible for some students that the least expensive college they are admitted to is still financially out of reach (so it would not be a safety).
No selective college is a safety for any applicant until they have an acceptance.
Financial safety is a school with auto admit, rolling admission or likely letter and athletic/merit full ride scholarship unless your EFC is $0.
Not surprising my winkie went over some people’s heads. Insert facepalm meme here.
I understand that you two (and countless others) are making a point about the importance of affordability, but in the real world everyone uses the term “safety” to refer to admission difficulty. I’m not sure your twisting of the definition is helpful.
wow! this thread is extremely helpful!! My mom wants me to go to somewhere larger like Texas A&M or UT Austin but I am starting to consider going to Texas State instead. This definitely helped me out a lot.
@pickpocket, the context of this thread is about financial affordability and is based on the idea that Ivies are not affordable. I wrote that if you get in, and get aid, I meant that in the context of the discussion of “financial safeties.”
The thread is not about whether or not you can get in. It’s about the decision not to go when you DO get in (or if you decide not to apply).
To add to your point, the actual “quality” of the four year education is very important and an area that is often overlooked during these discussions. Some posters like saying “I’m not paying 75K a year for the school name if my kid will end up with the same experience and job going to their local state directional college for 1/3 the price” but are we really comparing apples to apples on the actual education and opportunities one will receive? I have my doubts with my wife and I having attended CA state colleges.
Recruiters come to these highly selective college campuses, not because they are “elite”, but because they know the 4 year education and student body as a whole is outstanding and I’m sure they have had great success hiring students graduating from these institutions. My competitive applicant D didn’t even apply to any Ivy league colleges because they were not a good fit for her in several areas (lack of big time D1 sports/school spirit and they are all located in NE…something about the winter weather) but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t appreciate the world-class education that these institutions of higher learning offer its students. She most certainly does.
Considering that admission to a college that is too expensive is equivalent to rejection, it only makes sense that “safety” includes both admission and affordability, unless one specifically writes something like “admission safety”.
Granted, affordability may not be an issue for a significant number of posters here, but even here, there are still many who need to consider that. In the real world of US college bound students, probably >95% have affordability as the primary criterion or one of the top criteria for choosing a college.
Interesting thread and I do note how the title changed once the discussion turned to choosing the more affordable school. My student is in the position of being admitted to an Ivy, having an outside scholarship that will cover tuition at any institution, but is considering a non-Ivy school for its specific program. Really more the situation @ProfSD raised in post # 144 but here the non-Ivy may have the more prestigious program. Not that we will be swayed by third party reactions but have noticed “raised eyebrows” when people assume she’s committed to the Ivy and the response is “no waiting other schools.” I do worry that pressure from others may sway her decision…like “are you crazy? who would turn down the Ivy?” Hoping she will make a well researched, reasoned decision after visiting all options. Agree with all posters would not go in debt $200,000 for an Ivy over an affordable state school/non-Ivy option. We had already agreed on that before applications were submitted. Anyway, interesting perspectives shared.
This is an informative video from a sensible girl who got into a bunch of top colleges like Penn Wharton, Stanford, Georgetown and Duke. However, she didn’t get any of her outside scholarships to make it affordable. She went with her second most affordable choice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJgMc89lVRQ. It’s a long video, so forward to 8:28 if you don’t want to view the whole thing.
This girl is a smart cookie and I’m sure she will do well wherever she goes. At the end of the day, it’s primarily about the person and not the school.
I can talk a little about my DS20 son who is definitely making an unpopular choice that will affect his early options. As an African American male with top standardized test scores (75th percentile or higher at all Ivy’s), very good grades and AP scores, and attendance and success at a top summer program (Carnegie Mellon SAMS), he ended up deciding not to apply to any top 25 USNWR schools despite the fact that the costs for our household would be very affordable (HYP NPC estimates for example were between 6-9K per year which are cheaper than our in-state school alternatives). He made the choice to limit his options to HBCUs and a couple of other schools for undergrad applications that he loved and has not looked back. We will see how his decisions affect his long term outlook, but his choices are not very popular (even among some members of our family).