I have a friend who sent her daughter to TCU for a business degree. She graduated with a degree in dance without ever telling her mother about the change.Her mother found out at graduation. Her mother was pissed that she paid for her to go to a private school for dance.
When my kid told me she wanted to change majors, I asked her to research jobs in the new field and at least have some tentative career goal. I had her look at the qualifications for jobs in her field (specific job listings) and overall employment statistics for her new major. Once she had done that and she still wanted to do it, no issues raised from me. It is her life, and as long as she has an idea of what her choice means, I want her to decide.
My DD almost switched majors but did not after speaking with her dad and 2 years later, it was the right decision not to switch. Parental input, not decision making, I think is important both for the student and the parents. Sometimes parents have a clearer picture of the demands of the job vs your child’s capabilities and personality. After giving them the positives as well as the negatives, which definitely can include financial issues, it is their decision.
I am a freshman advisor. More than once, a student has discussed a major change (or field of study change since freshmen haven’t officially declared anything yet) with me and expressed a fear of telling the parent. My students are first gen and mostly low income (I’m in TRiO). The potential to earn money as well as the need to know exactly what kind of job they will have are often very important to the whole family. Ambiguity causes stress.
My own kids belong to the ranks of major changers. I knew. I did not care. I tried to convince the youngest early on that she would enjoy a major in art. Guess what? Junior year, she’s talking about adding one, but it’s probably too late. She’s already a double major and just won’t have the hours to complete a third major without adding extra time to her degree. Her scholarship only covers 4 years, so she needs to be done.
As the primary financial contributor to my D’s education, I would expect to have some input and would be very upset if she felt the need to hide any change from me. She has changed her mind now twice but as a sophomore hasn’t had to officially declare yet and there was some minimal discussion both times. In fact, she and I enjoy looking at the available classes each semester and working on a proposed four-year plan. Would I veto any change? I might depending on why and what. Much like @intparent I would expect some real research to be done. As a family, we are making significant sacrifices for D to attend a four year college and I would expect that she respect that and keep me informed.
@MOMANDBOYSTWO thanks for your concern and good wishes. I am happy to say that my daughter had a full-time job within 2 weeks of dropping out and has never been unemployed in all the years since then. It was the right decision for her, she just had had enough of academia, and wanted to be out in the work world and supporting herself. It took us awhile to adjust to the new normal, but she is very happy, our relationship is very good, and I believe things played out the way they had to! But at the time, boy, that WAS hard!
I like @intparent 's idea. Sure, let them study what they want, but they should be aware that the ultimate goal is a job.
If I am paying, it’s fair to expect them to at least tell me what job they hope this major would lead to.
Here, in a nutshell, is why some kids don’t tell their parents about major changes. They know how their parents are likely to react. If they know that you will react supportively, they’re going to tell you.
I’m the one who has suggest major cages to my daughter. Twice. I could see she was unhappy in her first choice, but it was a financial hit because she did have a scholarship in that major. She really wants to be an art history major, but doesn’t want to take all the art courses required. I suggest she just be a history major, and she’s considering the other areas as minors or just as a concentration within history now (art history, religion).
My mother has no idea what I majored in. I like being included in my daughters’ decisions even if it is ultimately their choice.
I did this – changed majors without telling my parents until afterwards; it involved changing colleges within a private university. I had raised the issue with them as a freshman, but got convinced to stick with engineering. It took two more years but I finally switched to biology. Happy ending – it did not take me any more time so did not cost more money, I eventually went to grad school (not relying on parental funds for that) and am financially secure. I would be hurt if my own children switched without discussing it with me. We have set the expectation that while they should make the final decision, we have lots of experience to offer (my husband also switched majors AND transferred). And we are impacted financially. And we want to help them be happy!
Not a parent, but a college student who recently changed majors.
I told my parents about the change beforehand - I mean, I wanted their advice. At that point I was pretty sure that the earth would crumble beneath my feet if I changed majors (or something like that), so I needed someone to tell me it was OK to change what I was doing with my life. For the most part, though, my parents aren’t too involved in my college education. They figure I can handle it. And I can, except for the few occasions when I can’t and then I ask for advice. All that being said, they aren’t paying for my education, so I can’t speak to those in that situation.
My son attends a school where they don’t require him to choose a major until he end of his sophomore year, which I feel like is ideal. I encouraged him to take different classes and he can decide when he’s ready. He called the other day and he taking 12U in his first quarter with no classes on Tuesday and Thursday. Is this typical? I want him to ease into college life however I don’t want him to take extra quarters to graduate since this school is crazy expensive. Should I be concerned?
Taking 12 credit units every quarter will result in needing 15 quarters (5 academic years) to graduate (assuming 180 quarter credit units are needed to graduate), unless the student has substantial credit from AP scores, college courses taken in high school, etc…
The normal average course load should be 15-17 credit units per quarter (some schools or majors may require more than 180 quarter credit units). A student who takes 12 credit units one quarter needs to “make up” the deficiency by taking higher course loads in other quarters, unless s/he has credit from AP scores, college courses taken in high school, etc. that can be used to “make up” the deficiency.
Also, although he need not choose a major until later, some majors have long prerequisite sequences that must be started in first year (or even first quarter) to ensure that they will be completed in time for graduation after 4 academic years.
@NosyCaliparent Sounds a little light. How many different classes/subjects is he taking for those 12U? Is he a feshman now? I assume U means unit, which is like a credit?
I also like it when lkids can explore for two years before declaring a major. But, as you said, you also don’t want to pay for more than four years for undergrad.
@NosyCaliparent It really depends on the school. Go to the school’s website. It will tell you most of what you need to know. And one light semester won’t have any huge effect in general, esp if the student is willing to do a summer course or run a heavy load later when they know exactly what they want to pursue.
@NosyCaliparent I think a light load in the first quarter of college is a great idea. It allows you to ease into things a little, and hopefully be successful, thereby increasing confidence and abilities for the quarters to follow!
He is a freshman and just starting classes this week. His college website tells me he gets an advisor to help him choose classes. I’m assuming the advisor wants him to graduate in 4 years like me? Maybe I’m assuming wrong. My concern is that he wants to do a pre-med track(his choice not mine). I hope he doesn’t get behind and have to take too many difficult classes later on. Should I mention it to him or just let it go?
@NosyCaliparent You could ask him how many classes the other kids he knows are taking, just to see if his load seems about right by comparison. Since this is freshman year and he is on the quarter system, I am guessing he’s just fine. As time goes on, you may want to periodically check with him and the school website to ensure that he is getting all the classes he needs each quarter to graduate on time.
I didn’t tell my parents immediately when I decided to change majors, but they also 1) aren’t paying anything for college and 2) I switched into a higher paying field.
@ordinarylives --off track, but just want to say I was a TRiO advisor for 10 years. You’re doing important work.
Also, though I concur that the students’ families often wanted to see a clear professional track, often it was not going to happen–the student wasn’t going to get into med school; the GPA was dipping below the 2.75 that education required, the nursing program was a weed-out and most pre-nursing applicants didn’t make it into it, and so on; often, the student ended up in a less-clear cut major, but got a degree. First in the family. And it got them farther to a chance at a white collar job, though maybe not what was aimed at to start. But then most of the families were so low income that they were not paying toward the degree in the first place–they couldn’t be.