My youngest and only daughter was my picky eater. I was not concerned that her diet consisted of plain pasta and grilled cheese for many years, but her grandmother was horrified that she was malnourished. She would go to Macdonalds and order a cheeseburger, hold the burger. Now her favorites include eggplant, roasted broccoli and yes, she ate a steak last week! I knew she’d grow up…in so many ways!
S1 would eat anything I put in front of him. It was great.
S2 was very “selective”. That’s an understatement.
He ate Pop Tarts every day for breakfast for years!. Then there was the “white foods”, S2’s most preferred foods…pasta (no sauce), rice, biscuits, rolls, mashed potatoes, French fries, pancakes,waffles.
When he started school he took a peanut butter sandwich every day.
He started expanding his diet when he was in high sch. He’s 25 now and eats pretty normally. Still doesn’t like seafood though.
Everyone has their likes and dislikes. Adult kids too. D2 is a vegetarian, so she is picky about that obviously. But is also picky about what vegetables she likes! S won’t eat beans or peas.
D1 has become less and less picky the more she is wined and dined, because of her job, at the best restaurants in NYC and other cities in different countries. At 25 yrs. old she has dined at several of the top rated restaurants in the world. If someone is willing to host an expensive meal, for business or otherwise, it would be very ungracious to say that you won’t eat this or that.
A funny story is when D2 visited D1 one time. D1 had a dinner obligation and explained that she would have to bale out because of sister visiting. Host said to bring sister. It was at one of the top rated restaurants in NYC. D2 was embarrassed enough to have to request vegetarian, restaurant accommodated with no problem, but she also thought she would have to pay her own tab as she was a tag along sister. Of course, D1 let her think this. When the bill came and it was about $500+ per person, D2 was panicked. Of course she did not have to pay it but D1 got a good laugh and D2 got a great restaurant experience!
That sounds familiar—we are all foodies too. My DD’s SO cannot eat dairy. Makes it harder to go out but so far not a deal breaker. ; )
When a picky eater lands in the Gambia or Tajikistan… s/he has a choice: go hungry or eat with the locals. I swear that I would not touch half of what our kiddos ate during their life abroad, and I am not a picky eater! I eat beets and squid. 
With my picky eater, I learned that he would eat most of our dinners if I “deconstructed” them. If we were having chicken enchiladas, he got shredded chicken (plain), a tortilla, and some cheese. If we had lasagne, he would eat the noodles (plain), ground beef, and cheese. Since I cook most things from scratch, it wasn’t any bother to put his portion aside before I assembled whatever we were having. I rarely cooked him anything different from the rest of the family except if we had fish, I would broil him a chicken breast. I’m happy to report that these days he will eat fish - doesn’t like it but won’t complain.
I never made a big deal about my kids eating. I always figured they would eat at some point. I kept regular meal time for them, didn’t give them a lot of snacks in-between. Their dad served them same food as grown ups, they didn’t get their special kid’s meal, so they grew up eating steaks, lamb, fish and all.
The funny thing was I assumed a young kid wouldn’t eat oysters or crabs, and they are my favorite food, so whenever we were out I would order raw seafood for myself. One day, when D2 was 4 or 5 she asked to try my food. I thought for sure she would spit out raw oysters and clams. Nope, her eyes just lit up as soon as she put one in her mouth. After that, I always have to share my raw seafood platter with D2. She also got pretty wise about always wanting to try my food because she thought I was holding out on her (and I was).
The only thing I worried about (except for D2’s junk food version of vegetarian,) was that my mother always served two veggies at dinner (white potatoes counted, back then,) and I’ve been convinced that contributes to later health. Luckily, both like vegetables and fruits.
I was never a particularly picky eater. I was always open to trying new foods and dishes! As I grew up, I actually made a my own choice to become a vegetarian. But I was a really unhealthy vegetarian - as I started eating on my own, I just ate a lot of junk food. That was not good for my health as well as caused weight gain. Finally, a year ago, I decided that I wanted to start eating healthy. Now, I am a vegetarian that actually has a non-processed, non-fake-meat, veggie-based, fresh diet
We were very much a meat-and-potatoes family before D was born and stayed that way for a long time afterward. In high school, she became a vegetarian, so she ate our prosaic meals except for the meat. In college, she became vegan, so had an even more limited menu in the college cafeteria. Now she’s out working, she has become an eclectic cook, and has greatly expanded her tastes. btw, she inspired H to become vegetarian, while I stayed an omnivore.
My son and I are both supertasters who were very picky as children. He’s now much less picky than I am and eats pretty much anything and everything. My daughter became a vegetarian at age 8 or 9, swung back to eating a tiny amount of meat from time to time for a while, then stayed a vegetarian starting at about 15. Meat really does not appeal to her, although she eats pretty much anything else.
I think to a large extent food preferences are inborn. However, there is some evidence that if you take a small taste of something multiple times, you can come to enjoy it. While that has been true for me for some vegetables and fruits, the theory has not worked for me with coffee or eggs, neither of which (at age 59) I can tolerate, despite numerous times tasting them. (I love the smell of coffee, hate the taste. There is a major disconnect there for me.)
@dmd77 I can’t stand the taste of coffee either - don’t drink it at all!
My very picky eater (bread, steak, and peanut butter only - and not all at once) became a much more adventurous eater later (sushi, Brussel sprouts, and raw oysters now - although not at once).
I believe the earlier poster who stated that super-sensitive tastebuds could be to blame. My youngest son could easily identify ingredients I tried to slip by him (except one time, when he believed that breaded clams were popcorn chicken). He is slowly progressing.
At 14, he would only order turkey on bread at Subway.
At 17, he added lettuce to his turkey sub at Subway.
At 19, he discovered Provolone cheese and added that to his sub.
If we’re at a sit-down restaurant, he always orders pasta (usually asks about the shape, preferring shell/rigatoni types over spaghetti types) BUT THE MARINARA SAUCE MUST BE ON THE SIDE. Half of the time, he won’t eat the sauce because he doesn’t like it.
He is 20 now and has added a half dozen items to his diet, thanks to his college roommates. Mom still can’t get him to try new foods, but apparently friends can.
I do believe there are some super tasters with sensitive taste buds, but pasta shape preference? 
At least these picky eaters are cheap dates. Mine wanted lobster and rack of lamb at the age of 5. I used to wish they wanted the chicken nuggets.
S, now 25, would eat anything even as a child and has a very adventurous appetite. He did go through the tuna salad sandwich every day in kindergarten but switched to turkey and cheese on whole wheat every day in first grade haha. D, 18, is terrible! She survived on basic foods: spaghettios, scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast and baked beans for many years. Her dr said spag o’s was the best convenience food to give her, nothing really bad in it compared to fast food for meals on the run. She has eventually added white fish, turkey and chicken, brocolli, green beans, cukes and romaine lettuce and a few other staples to her menu. We didn’t really do any fast food other than the occasional pizza or take out sandwich. I hope she doesn’t turn to those foods in college 
I never cooked anything separate for the kids and I never allowed them to fix their own substitute meals. What I did do was prepare a hot breakfast every morning before school because they both really enjoyed breakfast type foods) and made sure they liked their packed lunch. For dinner I would serve a protein, two vegetables, a starch, some type of bread/rolls, and fruit or yogurt was available for dessert. Both were always able to find enough to fill them up and were expected to sit at the table for the meal and make a plate from the choices available. I will admit there were nights that one or the other might have a baked potatoe and a bowl of grapes for dinner (but I’d make sure they had good protein for breakfast the next day lol). I’ll admit I make mean homemade chicken nuggets which both kids loved!
As for sleeping/bed times, both kids went to bed at 7:30 am every night from toddler to middle school. My son never had a problem sleeping, D had terrible night terrors and ended up on a cot in my room most nights until she was 13. Yes, 13. I tried everything. She always went to bed willingly and would fall asleep but could never settle down after the nightmares. Thank goodness I was single lol.
Ah, school lunches! I’m on my last couple of months of packing lunches after 21 years!!!
School lunches were especially a challenge with my three picky eaters. The typical sandwich was pretty much OUT unless it was PB and J - and I refused to send them with that several times a week! All three, for many years had a healthy lunch but not traditional really. The goal was usually to have one protein (cut cheese, yogurt, PB in a small container, one who would eat bologna cut into small pieces), one fruit or raw veggie, a whole grain product and sometimes an extra. In the teen years one of them decided that a turkey sandwich was sometimes ok, but sandwiches were never the norm in our house.
(and by the way, pasta shape DOES matter! I much prefer a spaghetti/fettuccine type noodle over bowties, penne, etc.)
Sandwiches ? There is only one sandwich my picky girl will eat…grilled cheese and according to her, most people don’t make them right. She will eat scrambled eggs that I make, but only me. School lunch has always been a challenge with her , but she is healthy, good weight and for that, I am happy
I was a pretty picky eater as a child. Towards the end of high school I added green beans and even squash to my list of foods that I actually liked. I pretty much disliked beans and peas until I was in my Thirties. Now I love most peas (black-eyed, field) and beans (kidney, black), save for Lima beans or English peas.
I still loathe even the smell of turnip greens. My mother tried more than once to force-feed me these as a young child and ended up with a dining table covered with vomit.
Took forever to get my son to eat a sandwich. He just doesn’t like his food to touch (except cheese pizza). Now, he will eat a ham or bacon sandwich - white bread - no spreads/sauces - no veggies - no cheese (except grilled cheese). School lunches were usually yogurt, pretzels, fruit, baby carrots. Sometimes cut up cheese and crackers. Basically, he eats like a toddler at 20.