Diet/Exercise/Health/Wellness Support Thread

Parent Cafe
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<p>sabaray:</p>

<p>That’s encouraging that your hubby’s blood pressure wasn’t too bad. My BMI was 39 point something, so there’s hope for everyone!</p>

<p>It’s a real testimony to your incredible success to have done it in a household with someone not in the least bit on the same program. Your success is probably a threat to your hubby on some level.</p>

<p>The hardest part is getting started. At a BMI of 40, it just seems like a hopelessly insurmountable challenge. The smartest/luckiest thing I did was to set very modest goals (“lose 12 pounds to get started”) and start feeding off some “wins”, rather than confronting the enormity of it all It’s hard enough to get through the first week of change. Probably impossible to grapple with a multi-year commitment.</p>

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<p>Absolutely agree with idad. Baby steps work, when it comes to weight loss and training. Gigantic goals, like “I’ll drop 50 pounds!” or “I will qualify for Boston” don’t do much good.</p>

<p>Punched the clock, too. Came home around 9 (ugh, work!), fed starving Mr B and just did not have any desire to run after eating. So another round of free weights it was! Put on my Torins and hopped around the kitchen - scared the bejizus out of my fat kitty. </p>

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<p>Hot and humid is not my favorite weather to run in. 3 miles and change this morning. Done. Already over 70 degrees when I started my run. Walked the dogs 2 miles. They’re feeling the heat too. </p>

<p>I honestly don’t know if H can do it. I know what he eats at meals when he’s home. When he’s at work, I’m not sure what he eats. When I go to bed, he eats multiple peanut butter/jelly sandwiches, a sleeve of crackers, cheese, basically anything he can find. He drinks too much. It’s going to be a long haul. He has no interest in learning about good foods - his focus is on cutting calories as drastically as possible while exercising/sweating as much as possible - not sustainable for the long term. I love the guy, but he’s got to at least try. </p>

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<p>Another high five for “any effort is worth celebrating” - have your own barometer of success - whether that is eating less, running 1 mile or 5, walking 1 mile or 5, lifting weights - whatever!</p>

<p>Sabaray, sounds like you and I both beat the heat and humidity this morning - don’t like getting up early, but did and got my run in early, a walk for pooch and into work by 7:45am. SOOO glad it’s out of the way! </p>

<p>Re: your husband Sabaray - my husband was your husband two years ago - he had been quite overweight for a long time. I started running in Sept. 2012 - I like to think I inspired him a bit. :slight_smile: Nov of 2012 he joined WW without telling us (not for the first 10 weeks anyway) - it had his wake up moment while digging into his third helping of Thanksgiving dressing he says. Lost 40 pounds from Nov. to May. In May, he messed up his knee and was off work for a couple of months - it was tough keeping up his new, better eating habits while being home more - he had a good routine going of taking all kinds of healthier stuff to work and being home and not able to exercise much put 10 pounds back on. He hasn’t been AS good the last several months, but I think he is back at about where he was - total 40 lbs off. He is the LAST person I would have expected would put himself in the position of attending a WW meeting. But somehow being in the presense of others who were struggling but had good intentions worked for him. He goes to his weekly meeting pretty religiously. He has more work to do on eating. I try to stay out of it. Clearly, decades of me hounding him is NOT what made him turn the corner! But seeing results did and learning that he could eat and eat enough, just had to be the right things.</p>

<p>I’d love to see him lose another 20-25 pounds. But HE’S got to want to do it!!! </p>

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<p>H pretty much counts on me to plan meals and help him with his diet, so I think the program through the hospital will be the best option. Doc gave me some nice handouts on foods with anti-inflammatory properties (mainly for me) but H will be able to eat a lot of those. One of the issues for H is a “side benefit” of his job is really good food and it’s always around. I told him he would just need to pack his food every day and it needed to be more than celery and carrots. I hope eventually he will take more of an interest in matters of diet and health. </p>

<p>Doc had us record our food intake for the 24 hours prior to our appointments and asked if it was typical. I was really happy to be able to show him the MyPlate app for the past several years. He did feel I needed to eat more carbohydrates, just not more flour or wheat, which was a distinction I hadn’t been making. Once I have the dairy issue resolved (is it a problem or not), he suggested magnesium daily for migraine. </p>

<p>When H and I compared notes on our visits, I think he was a little envious. It felt great to hear that my lifestyle changes had in all likelihood averted the diabetes that was looming in my future. Nice to get that positive feedback which I don’t get a whole lot of at home!</p>

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<p>OK, I’m definitely on board with the “new forum rules.” I didn’t really mean to belittle the distance of my run/walk – I haven’t come anywhere close to that distance in over 30 years. Perhaps part of me still thinks of the Galloway method as not “true running.” But, the fact is, there’s no way I could do the distance (at this point) without it. OK, moving on …</p>

<p>Cardio and weights for me this morning. The cardio machines can be a little boring so I usually watch TV; all well and good but this morning the TVs weren’t working. Good thing I had music!</p>

<p>Sending all positive thoughts to your H, sabaray. My H had needed to lose 40+ pounds for years. I didn’t hound him about it, but mentioned it every once in a while. He’d say, “I know.” but wouldn’t do anything. He also didn’t exercise at all. The meals I make are pretty healthy, but he also traveled quite a bit for work and ate at pretty posh restaurants. I’ve probabaly mentioned this here, but his wake-up call came 2 years ago at his annual physical. Test results showed his blood sugar was at the high end of normal. When his doc told him that, H said, “You’ve just said the magic words to the son of a 60 year diabetic.” He started really watching what he ate, and cut back on his drinking. He lost 45 pounds, and has kept if off (+ or - 5 lbs) since. BUT, he still doesn’t exercise, AND has gone back to his previous level of drinking – which, I admit, bothers me some. (I’ve NEVER seen him drunk, but it just seems like he indulges a little too much.) ANYWAY, motivation definitely has to come from within, as I’m sure you know.</p>

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<p>Sabaray, I hear you about the DH. My BMI was 40.4 when I started. My DH has a BMI of 40+ and had an a1c level of 13.2% when he was diagnosed with diabetes. (That’s equivalent to a fasting glucose level in the 330s.) Has not exercised in the 32 years I have known him and isn’t about to start now. Works 70+ hrs/week, has sleep apnea and is a heart attack waiting to happen. Even his primary (who is also mine, and who has been so happy with my progress) is befuddled at DH’s resistance. DH gave up sugared sodas when he was diagnosed and lost 25, but it has been creeping back up. His mom died of diabetes, too. After dinner, he’ll have a bowl of fruit sorbet, a spoon or two of PB, etc. – usually about another 500 calories.</p>

<p>Food is a major comfort in his life and he does not want to change. For many years I went along with the late dinners for the sake of family togetherness and ate the same food. It has been hard to separate my health from his and I think it has caused a rift in our relationship, though neither one of us really wants to confront that.</p>

<p>Saw a friend of ours who I hadn’t seen in over 25 years recently (DH sees her when he is NYC – they were buddies in college), and she thought that DH was being unfair to burden me with his current and future health issues, given that I have more than enough of my own to deal with. I hadn’t thought of it that way before, but it is an interesting perspective. She is caring for two parents in their late 80s and is finely attuned to these issues. She feels DH should get healthy so that I can focus on my own health vs. worrying about his health and/or caregiving and/or being widowed down the road.</p>

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<p>The obstacle that has to be overcome for all the tubby hubbies out there is getting satisfaction from seeing progress on the scale, in the jeans, and in fitness sufficient to offset the satisfaction from pigging out on fat food. I was extremely motivated by seeing the scale drop like clockwork – 1.5 to 2 pounds a week – and by fitting in the next size jeans every so often. Then, a really funny thing happened at about the minus 50 pound milestone – it occurred to me that I not only could shed a bunch of blubber, but I could actually become a fit person for the first time in a long, long, long time. Very motivating.</p>

<p>I believe that my deal with the devil (giving up junk food, but eating large, filling excellent meals without guilt) was probably very helpful for an ol’ fat guy. I’m not sure the nibbling, portion control thing works that well for guys.</p>

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<p>Lol on the “tubby hubbies”. :). </p>

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<p>My husband is a cyclist (winter runner) and isn’t tubby, but he does tend to put on a few pounds over the winter when he isn’t cycling. He is really in good shape- especially since he’s turning 70 in February. Interestingly, I think our kids are now really appreciating how fit we are (or in my case, was) as they see more and more people our age that are in poor health and overweight. </p>

<p>I’ve gained about 4 pounds in the month I’ve been not exercising (not counting the painful 1 mile days that final week) in addition to the 2-3 I didn’t want to have before the injury. I’m trying to get things under control. I’m still in my clothes, but on my relatively small frame, 4 pounds is noticeable. </p>

<p>I started the Forteo bone density injections this evening and survived. </p>

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<p>MOWC, you may have a couple extra pounds, but years of fitness will not go to pot in a month or two- you will come back stronger and quicker because of your excellent fitness prior to injury. Kudos to your husband for his efforts – you are both inspiring for your kids I’m sure!</p>

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<p>MOWC, the Forteo will help. Really, really help. My cousin did those for the two years that’s permitted and was dazzled by the results.</p>

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<p>CBB and CD, thanks for sharing. CD, I can really relate.</p>

<p>This afternoon we went to the wellness center and got our memberships established. It will be nice to have some extras.</p>

<p>Thanks for checking in, MOWC. I wondered where you were today. I hope you’re able to tolerate the injections and they provide some benefits.</p>

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<p>MOfWC, I believe that your superb fitness is not going to evaporate while your bones are on a short vacation from running. :slight_smile: Good to hear that injections are tolerable. I too hate needles and feel your pain and frustration. Hang in there.</p>

<p>I just got my schedule for the next few months. Ugh. I need 48 hour days, lol. </p>

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<p>Thanks. I did about 7-8 months of Forteo in 2007 before I quit. I’ll try to finish out the stint this time. Bunsen-!its a tiny, short needle. I did not feel it at all. </p>

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<p>Re: the bluefish … It has been cleaned and filleted, but on Sunday when it was caught we already had dinner plans for Father’s Day, so it is in the fridge wrapped up. I think H and S are not sure what to do with it, and they want to cook it themselves. How many days can this wait? I am no longer interested in eating 3 day old fish.</p>

<p>Had a great short run today. I used the Cyclemeter app on my phone to track my pace and distance. My average pace here on relatively flat bike paths is 9:16 min/mile, and my last mile was 8:00 minutes, and I was tired at the end. My conclusion is that trail running adds about 2 min/mile. I ran earlier to avoid the heat, and that was far better.</p>

<p>My foot neuroma is a little feisty, perhaps because of the hard surface. When I get done, I ice it for 30-60 minutes in 10 min cycles, which seems to help. I am avoiding ibuprofen as I bruise too easily when I take it.</p>

<p>Sabaray … Good luck to you with H and his health. I feel lucky that my H at least eats mostly healthy, unless of course there are cookies brought in to the house.</p>

<p>MOWC, keep healing. It seems like you are very focussed and I agree that your being in good shape will pay off. </p>

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<p>Snowflake:</p>

<p>When I started walking, I had Morton’s Neuroma – tingling, numbness, pain at the base of the middle toe. I was able to “cure” it by wearing shoes that put absolutely no pressure squeezing my toes together. It meant going with wide or extra wide widths and even sizing up if necessary. At the same time, I started wearing SuperFeet insoles in all my shoes. Since then, I’ve had zero flareups, even though I’ve increased the length of my walks significantly and even thrown in a little running. I think getting shoes wide enough is the key.</p>

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<p>CountingDown, I think a lot of people feel the way your friend does, but I’m not sure I agree with her. I’ve given this a lot of thought, believe me, because I have friends who believe I should do more to harass my own tubby hubby into action ;)</p>

<p>To me, what’s important is having each other’s back. In my books, that pretty much means that if he’s living up to our contract – which is to love each other and have each other’s backs – then I don’t really have any business making him feel like he’ll be a burden to me one day if he doesn’t loose weight. That would countermand my idea of lovingness.</p>

<p>The bald fact is that he may indeed be a burden to me but possibly for a shorter time period than a skinny cranky guy might be :wink: The same way I might be a burden to him too, despite my weightloss. That’s kinda what we signed up for when we threw our lot in together – possibly being burdens to each other! :)</p>

<p>I just feel to do otherwise, to operate the way your friend suggests, would be to punish him for being who he is, when I signed on for who he is, not who he might become. I would love it if he’d walk the hill with me or dedicate himself to getting in shape…or at least if he’d stop bringing ice cream home. And yes, I’d likely lose more instead of plateauing and constantly beating back the same five pounds if we were on the buddy system around here, but that’s on me, not him ;)</p>

<p>I think its a hard thing, not to judge each other for our choices. It’s especially hard when you’re trying to motivate yourself to eat better and live actively not to extend that mental dialogue, that rationale, to the ones you love. But I think its important not to let it divide you.</p>

<p>I used to joke among my friends whenever someone we knew or a relative lost 50 lbs or more that they’d be dumping their husband next, and I had an uncanny degree of accuracy :slight_smile: But joking aside, I think its hard for people to “bridge back” to each other when one of them has had a major transformation in their worldview…whether its in terms of health or anything else.</p>

<p>So in short, I’m sending mojo to my fellow threadsters who have tubby hubby’s, but more importantly, kudos for focusing on YOUR OWN deal…maybe it will rub off and ay be it won’t (in my case, the being “fed lean” is the only thing that’s dialed back mch’s diabetes prognosis…and now that he’s in the clear, he’s a bit less compliant) but either way you’ve been an example there for the taking :)</p>

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<p>^^^^ You should post those words in the new thread I started re: Spouses/New Hobbies/Interests/Wellness (inspired by this thread). </p>

<p>I don’t disagree with you, but I have a VERY hard time turning the other way to someone in my family sabotaging their health to a serious degree. </p>

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<p>abasket, it is very hard. I’ve had to learn to keep my worries about my tubby hubby’s health to myself, and it’s not a small worry. kmcmom, I really like your post, it is very good advice. </p>