@Nrdsb4, my apologies, this came out really long!
Regarding the question about calories, not really - it’s a little complicated, and it’s really been a journey, so let me explain.
So, my goal from the very beginning was to get healthier in a sustainable/lifestyle way, not to lose weight (as in, I knew I was overweight, but that was not my focus - I didn’t weigh myself; I don’t own a scale - eventually, I did start using one at a friend’s house once a month or so, but I still don’t own one - I didn’t want to obsess over pounds - I was trying to focus on a healthier lifestyle; I was aware of calories, but I wasn’t really counting them).
So, I was basically at square one. Starting with college, I was eating very unhealthily - in college, soda almost every day, no fruit, no veg. Several years out of college, I was literally just binging on sweets every day (I have a HUGE sweet tooth), sometime consuming I think over 100 grams of sugar a day. I had a moment where I just realized that I may not come back from this if I didn’t make a change.
So, my very first step was to lower my added sugar intake (so, not just in sweets, but everything - yogurts, cereals, frozen food) to 50 grams a day - twice the recommended amount by the WHO. I just felt I could not go any lower, given how much I loved (and was/am addicted to) desserts. Instead, I replaced my sweet cravings with unlimited fruit. I know this is a little unconventional for someone who is overweight, but I felt this was the only way I could break the sugar addiction. I hated fruits with a passion for the first two weeks (because they weren’t sugary sweets), and I ate 7 bananas in one day, but I kept to my sugar limit.
At the same time, I decided to limit my snacks (I usually would have chips every day) to two snacks a day. My rule was, I could have anything I wanted - chips, etc., but it had to be just one serving size, as per the box, and I stuck to that. Same with dinners, etc. - 1 serving size of anything I wanted for the protein, the side, etc.
When I was ready (a lot of this was about being ready and gradual, sustainable change - I didn’t want to rush anything or do something I didn’t feel I could do for the rest of my life - there was a huge mental aspect to it), I decided to stop eating my frozen sides that I had every night for dinner and replace them with fresh veg. Quite frankly, the reason I did it is because I am not a cook, and I didn’t really like what I was eating that much anyways, and it didn’t feel like a huge sacrifice, so I decided to go healthier. I picked only veg that required minimal (under 10 minutes) prep and clean time, because, again, I really don’t like cooking and am very busy, so I had to find options that worked for me and didn’t make me give up. It also had to be something I liked. It was all about not pushing myself but working with myself to find solutions when I was ready.
This was last summer, so I started experimenting with all the vegetable and fruits that I wanted. I didn’t set a price limit and really let myself go for the stuff that I liked (tough on my budget, but that’s what kept me going). I picked veggies, because I liked the color sometimes - purple cauliflower - if it appealed to me, I tried it - basically, I just encouraged any healthy food interests I had. At around that same time, I started walking my dog for at least a mile and a half a day and running (well, first it was walking) stairs in my building - to the 7th floor and down - 3 times. Again, the key was, I chose activities that I had to be sure I could do no matter what - in the winter, when I was short on time, etc. Sustainability was my number 1 concern when making any change. Also, as someone who, even when I was an athlete in high school, never had any upper body strength, it was my dream to do a push-up, so I started a program (15 -20 minutes 3 times a week) to do that.
Once the processed sides were phased out, I also phased out the processed fake meats (I have been a pescatarian/vegetarian for many years). I replaced those with fresh protein sources, mostly lentils, chick peas, green peas, cheese (paneer, Cypress grilling), and occasionally fish - again, sticking to serving sizes, except for cheese, because the serving size for cheese is pretty small, for dinner I would do two serving sizes, if I was having it as my dinner protein that day.
That summer, my friend and I hiked down into the Grand Canyon, camped at the bottom, and hiked back out 
I was in the 140s, down from the high 150s and maybe even low 160s
My weight was coming off, by that point.
By this winter, something I never thought I would be ready for, I decided to cut my added sugar to 35 grams a day (but on weekdays, only 25 of those grams can go to dessert, so many weekdays I just eat 25 grams). I also got rid of my processed oatmeal for breakfast and replaced it with no-sugar-added steel cut oats. This March, I weighed in at 125.6 pounds, down from 158.5 last May, and possibly (I don’t know the exact number), as much as 163 last March.
As to your question about calories - I never did a 1200-calorie diet or anything like that. I didn’t want to do anything I couldn’t sustain or push me to give up or mess up my metabolism. I felt that I needed to create a meal plan that I would be comfortable with for the rest of my life, and let the weight come off slowly to meet that, if that makes sense. Originally, I aimed for around 1,800-2,000 calories plus unlimited fruit and veg. Now, I don’t do unlimited fruit, but I do eat quite a bit of it (6 pieces of fruit a day plus an avocado). I kind of stabilized what I eat, in that I think I eat about the same amount of food total in a day, most days. I estimate I eat around 2200 calories a day - that’s a very rough estimate though. I am 5’5.5" and now approximately 125-126 pounds. From my personal experience, I don’t believe a calorie is a calorie. I tend to subscribe to the theory that your body processes different foods differently.
I don’t have cheat days - nor do I crave them! (I do crave sugar though) - I really wanted to create something I could do for the rest of my life - except for very specific 5 days a year, mostly associated with holidays, where I do allow myself unlimited added sugar. I will go out to eat. I will have pizza, but since I really only go out to eat less than every 2 weeks, it really isn’t an issue for me. If I eat out, I will have only half an entrée.
This is getting way too long, but this is an example of what I eat and have been eating in a typical day (yes, I do still have dessert every night - that’s pretty much where all my added sugar comes from - some day, I would like to get to a healthier dessert, but not now. I am not ready yet).
Breakfast
1 serving (1/4 cup) of steel-cut oats with 2/3 cup whole milk
Lunch (12:00 pm - 2:00 pm)
Two slices of Ezekiel bread
Either 1/2 teaspoon of butter and 1 serving of Swiss cheese OR almond butter (2 table spoons) and banana
Snack
Nuts - 100 calorie portion
Snack
Grapefruit
Snack (when I get home from work)
Sweets (5 grams of sugar - usually a candy)
Snack (after my stair run)
2 fruits and 1/4 Cup of whole milk, plain Greek yogurt
Snack (8:00 while watching TV at night)
Avocado and 2 frutis
Dinner
Protein (lentils or fish or peas or cheese), main veg (cauliflower, broccoli, asparagus, etc.), and secondary veg (carrots, beets, mushrooms, shishito peppers, etc.), and fresh garlic
Dessert
20 grams of sugar - I can have whatever I want, as long as it’s within my sugar limit - pretty much the only place where I still have highly-processed foods, but one step at a time
Snack (midnight/late night)
1 fruit
I don’t drink soda or juice or sports drinks - pretty much the only thing I do drink is water (8 cups a day), as I don’t like coffee or tea
I don’t drink alcohol - this is unrelated to healthy eating - I never drank.
