<p>I would think those kids are hard to test, too. I know with my own son, he thought the tests were silly (talking about the state educational tests here). But when he wanted to do something that was important to him, he could do well- or at least well enough. He scored one of the top math scores in the state on the ACT in 7th grade to get into CTY. Because he wanted to take one of their computer courses. Did not do as well on the CR part, but still well enough to get into CTY courses. He was able to find the focus for that. </p>
<p>Luckily, as he has gotten a little older, he has a little more control over the focus. And he is occasionally easier to convince something SHOULD be important to him! LOL</p>
<p>My son was more in the top 3-5% in academics, not top 1%. But do not hand him a paint brush or ask him to draw. He still groans over that. And will not write in cursive.</p>
<p>Well this little boy tests “very superior” on most ability testing, but was actually “failing” first grade, whatever THAT means, and below level on some achievement tests. He is seven. And yes, he did debate the premise of some of the questions on the tests.</p>
<p>They are the best kind of threads, aren’t they, thumper? just kidding</p>
<p>In all seriousness, I read every post that everyone writes. Not a single thread that I’ve started is hypothetical - even when I try to convince others that it is. Every thread relates to real life stories that I have.</p>
<p>For privacy, I don’t provide a lot of details here. Should family ever find these threads, I’d be in a deeper pile of dog doo than I’ve ever been in my life, which is silly because the situations that I’m writing about are true, real, and presented as accurately as I can. (I’ve accidently found family’s posts on other forums, and learned far more about them than I ever want to know.) And truthfully, life is stranger than fiction. I could not make up stories more bizarre than the ones that I experience in my everyday life.</p>
<p>So trust me on this: No one is wasting their time by writing responses to my posts and not one of my threads has been entirely with the intention of simply stirring up trouble for no apparant purpose.</p>
<p>*My ADHD child was too timid to misbehave at school but at home I was constantly saying “What were you thinking?.” After I explained to her why writing on the outside of the house or using your shoe as a boat in the pool or (insert additional ridiculous scenarios here) were not good ideas, she was always contrite. As a parent, I never expected to explicitly have to say “Don’t write on the house.” *</p>
<p>When you have a child who will do oddball things (and I did have one), the only solution is to keep that child in sight at all times. This is the kid who tried to put hubby’s car keys into an electrical socket while we were at an ice cream parlor and the place didn’t have those covers. If we weren’t constantly watching him, he’d likely be dead now…seriously. </p>
<p>At age 16 months, he learned that he was skinny enough to contort his body to get thru our wrought-iron fence. If not caught, he’d have ended up in the street. My dad had to quickly come over with chicken wire and wrap all our fences with it until he got too big to fit thru. (lol…dad couldn’t believe that our little Houdini could somehow fit thru, but son gave him a live demo…)</p>
<p>The point of keeping such a child under your nose at all times is so that you can constantly teach as these oddball things come up, and then they learn as they go along. You’re not going to be able to “pre-think” all these things…that’s why you have to be creative and keep them within sight until you can trust them to be on their own for a bit. </p>
<p>It’s also important to get them into the habit of “asking you first” before they do something.</p>
<p>^^^That was my youngest child to a T. He didn’t talk until he was 3, but was insanely curious. We had so many trips to the emergency rooms that we had to start going to new ones so they wouldn’t question us about child abuse. We wouldn’t tolerate disobedience - we just hadn’t thought to say “Don’t do X” because we never thought a kid would try that. We quickly learned to say “Do X” instead - such as stay in your seat, read this book, etc. if we had to leave him unsupervised. And he was a contrite, obedient child who always helped clean up messes, etc. </p>
<p>Re: ADD/ADHD and rudeness. In my teaching career, I have seen many parents excuse rudeness with impulse control issues. I don’t buy it. By the time a child enters school they should have learned to keep their hands to themselves, play well with others and respect authority. Mistakes happen, kids get curious/overexcited/bored, but most can be gently corrected and taught the appropriate behavior. The ones that I have the most trouble with are the ones who parents give them free reign at home and expect teachers to do so also. Gifted or not.</p>
<p>I realize most kids don’t have " special needs", but there are kids who are mainstreamed who have have quite a few “special” needs and need frankly kid gloves, especially in elementary school.
It can take years for these children to be able to act appropriately most of the time in a busy, loud, confusing classroom setting.
Took years for my D to wear appropriate clothing!
;)</p>
<p>I draw a clear line between kids who have a ton of energy and those who can’t control themselves. As I’ve noted in other posts, I had over-abundance of energy issues and so did many of my friends, but we could listen. We could take direction. It sometimes took a firm hand but we understood. Lots of kids can’t. That is not talented and gifted behavior. </p>
<p>I sometimes think we look for things in kids who have issues. I’m not saying that’s bad. I mean more that the more we pay attention to a kid, the more we can see and that’s true for nearly any kid. Because we look closer at kids with issues, we naturally want to see the potential in them.</p>
<p>*That was my youngest child to a T. He didn’t talk until he was 3, but was insanely curious. We had so many trips to the emergency rooms that we had to start going to new ones so they wouldn’t question us about child abuse. We wouldn’t tolerate disobedience - we just hadn’t thought to say “Don’t do X” because we never thought a kid would try that. We quickly learned to say “Do X” instead - such as stay in your seat, read this book, etc. if we had to leave him unsupervised. And he was a contrite, obedient child who always helped clean up messes, etc. *</p>
<p>When you have a child like that, you can’t let your guard down. It’s hard to have babysitters because they either won’t believe you or they won’t be as diligent. One babysitter let our curious child play in the yard without supervision. He got into the garage, opened the garage door, got into a car, stuck something in the cigarette lighter which burned, and let loose the emergency brake and the car (and him) went down the driveway!</p>
<p>this kid also had odd obsessions…Windex, the phone, mail, dustbusters, stamps, tools, flashlights, coins, dollar bills, on and on and on. </p>
<p>When he was about 3 or 4, I could tell that he had become fascinated by matches, so I feared that he would somehow “play with matches.” I sat him down outside on the brick steps. I lit a match, blew it out, and set it down next to him. I knew he’d pick it up…likely by the still-hot end. He did and slightly burned himself…not badly…but it did hurt. He lost his fascination with matches. Some may think that was too brutal, but I figured a little burn to his finger was better than massive burns or death from playing with matches.</p>
<p>We couldn’t have babysitters, too much change… We couldn’t even have my mom help out because she was always to trying to tie a shoe or zip a jacket and the tactile sensitive kids couldn’t stand that.
Had to take the swing set down when she was five cause she kept trying to jump off the top.</p>
<p>Yep, my S had the odd obsessions too - empty Sprite bottles (he liked the color green), sticks, chewed gum on the bottom of tables or sidewalks, rocks, etc. We would go on walks and I’d give him a bag so he could collect things. Hand sanitizer came in handy. One of his teachers discovered his penchant for sticky things (old gum, tape, etc) so she gave him a piece of sticky tack every morning to squeeze and roll around. Kept him focused. Great teacher!</p>
<p>megpmom, I think that you hit on something very important with some of these kids. Often, even the ADD/ADHD kids focus better when they have another activity going on. Like the sticky tack. </p>
<p>My son liked being mentally active with a task during class. He would read ahead, do math problems ahead, or homework for another class. He was the kind of kid that would be doing his math in english, and still have 100% recall of the english lesson. </p>
<p>Teachers hate that. </p>
<p>He was introduced to the 24game in 5th grade. We purchased every box of them we could find. He would take those with him everywhere, including school. The successful teachers allowed him to pull them out during “lectures”, the ones that had problems with him did not. </p>
<p>Not everyone has the capability to “sit up and pay attention”. I work with adults like that too. Sometimes they are doodlers, sometimes they read. But there is a difference between ignoring a teacher and a lesson, and doing an activity along with the lesson that allows a student to not be disruptive, but also get the information from the lesson. </p>
<p>For some students, that is reading. For my son, at that age, it was 24 cards. </p>
<p>He used to solve the 24 cards at night too. That was his book to read before he went to sleep. Those cards were all over the place. Solving them allowed him to focus, and calmed him. </p>
<p>I could never even figure out how the 24 game worked!! Trying to solve them would have made me crazy.</p>