Some excellent points here, thanks, that was illuminating!
I was wondering about a subject you mentioned - the “prestigous youth orchestra” which I’m going to change to athletics. So there are a few boarding school (and college) threads about athletic recruiting to boarding schools, how the kids or parents are talking to coaches, who in turn boost those kids’ chances at admission.
Does that happen in day schools too? Because the primary case to me, if a kid was great at soccer, they’d primarily be working through club sports over school sports. So I can see why being great at soccer is good for admissions generally, but is there the same type of “recruiting” going on at day schools for athletes?
Finally, the “connections” thing might be a problem for us (being un-connected to anything). Is there a way to understand how much they’re pushing the scales for connected people? I have some sense of the local pool, and feel like there’s a reasonable case based on merit alone, but there are all types of groups out there getting boosts (and we’re not one of them) and that is the part that gives me pause.