<p>I think about this a lot, cause it is easy to beat myself up when I feel like I don’t have my $#@! together as much as it appears the parents of my daughters friends do.</p>
<p>But for example- I can remember all the books I actually owned as a child.
Horton hears a Who- Green Eggs & Ham, Little House in the Big Woods & Misty of Chincoteague. Oh and a book on the kings of Hawaii that a great-aunt brought back from a trip.</p>
<p>On the other hand, my kids owned enough books to stock a library or at least a small school.</p>
<p>They both attended preschool & baby gym activities before that. Don’t make fun ;), My oldest was 10 weeks early with gross motor delay and structured ( somewhat) active play acted as therapy plus was more fun cause it was with other kids. ( it worked too)</p>
<p>I attended preschool for about a week, which I vaguely remember, but I think my parents decided it wasn’t needed.</p>
<p>I was really involved with their schooling. They each attended parent co-op preschools, I was on the board/steering commitees of their schools ( through high school), and I volunteered in the classrooms.</p>
<p>My parents weren’t able to be involved ( very few parents were involved in the suburban 60’s- perhaps that explains a lot) & I remember my grandparents even crossing the lake to show up at school events that they knew my parents weren’t going to attend.</p>
<p>We live in the city & they had fairly structured summers- at least 1/2 was taken up with residential camp, day camps or classes ( not academic, usually art/dance/theatre related or about the ponies).</p>
<p>I lived in the close ring suburbs where every house had at least one kid , we had huge yards and we would just rove from one fence to the next stopping in the kitchen occasionally for refills of kool-aid, or * score!* Hawaiian Punch!
:D</p>
<p>My kids are completely spoiled. My parents would have never gone for that. I think that is why we, ok <em>I</em>, endulge them that way. If we can afford it, and it is legal, I usually say yes. Now…with that said, I don’t think (most) of my kids are rotten. They actually appreciate what they have, show respect, etc. My husband actually tends to keep things in control because he was granted everything and anything he wanted as his parents had him late and life and by that time could afford to do that. He realizes it created an “I have to the latest and greatest” monster and he does not want our kids to do that…but I am afraid it is too late.</p>
<p>My dad was a military guy through and through. He was Mr. Tough Love, and Mr. Beat your Butt. I was a smart mouth and paid for it via shaving cream or soap in the mouth, etc. Because of that I would never do that to my kids.</p>
<p>My Mom would let us do really fun things when my dad was TDY but when he was home I swear we were trapped in our rooms.</p>
<p>“My kids are completely spoiled. My parents would have never gone for that. I think that is why we, ok <em>I</em>, endulge them that way. If we can afford it, and it is legal, I usually say yes.”</p>
<p>IMHO, spoiling comes from indulging bad behavior, not from granting requests. If a kid is required to ask nicely, say please and thank you, and share with other children, their character will probably be just fine even if they have all kinds of luxuries. If parents tolerate/reward whining and sulking and hitting, and let the child dictate the house rules, they’ll end up with a spoiled rotten child even in the trailer park or the projects.</p>
<p>The kindest, most generous people I know grew up in all kinds of different economic circumstances, but all with parents who modeled and expected consideration for others.</p>
<p>^^^What she said. One of the nicest kids I know is S2’s friend whose well-off parents have given him everything in the world possesions-wise, but don’t take anything from him behavior-wise.</p>