Yes, I was so glad you chimed in , Dean J, to make sure that was clarified. Sometimes parents and kids will say things to other families that really are not based in fact (probably not intentionally) or what they are saying can be misinterpreted. That is how misinformation can get spread so thanks for clarifying UVa’s position,
Thanks for the information, but other schools will negotiate. A friend of ours compared offers among highly selective colleges, and one of the schools “found” a $10,000 a year scholarship to make their offer more appealing. The kid ended up working at Goldman Sachs BTW.
“Thanks for the information, but other schools will negotiate.” Of course, that’s true. The Dean was just responding to a poster’s statement that she knew someone that was trying to use a Stanford admission to leverage aid from a particular school, UVa. As Dean J said, UVa does not currently negotiate financial aid packages. Other schools are free to operate any way they like . It is just important that the correct information is provided on these forums.
@merething As others have already said, I suggest building your list with a budget in mind. Use the NPCs and look for merit aid. We (parents) were mushy on finances too. On our spreadsheet, the four year COA between 2 schools with full tuition awards and 1 school with full ride are substantial. The “meets 100% need” is shockingly expensive (first time calculations forgot to take the older kid out of school for younger’s sophomore through senior years). It really helps to see the numbers. For adults too. Lots of people still believe you apply first, based on fit and where you want to go, then wait and see what the FA packages are. If you cannot afford your EFC, you have to hunt down the merit aid.
Yes, some top schools will. We asked a school to review our kid’s FA package because the COA was $10,000 cheaper at the other (even higher ranked) college. They asked to see the FA package from the other school, then adjusted her FA package essentially to match. But another school wouldn’t make any adjustment.
Thank you so much for all of your responses!
I hesitate to demand a definite budget from my parents because, as some have said, it’s difficult to figure that out. I figure it’s best to be conservative about finances, but I don’t blame my parents for having a different approach, especially because I likely would have agreed with them before I found CC. It is a little frustrating to have them dismiss me on the grounds that I’m seventeen and therefore can’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to money (probably true in 99.9% of cases; 25k is an amount I can barely wrap my head around.)
@jonri My parents have mentioned having grandparents pay, actually, but they’re half-kidding when they say it. My extended family doesn’t live in the US, and college in their home country puts a lot less emphasis on the non-academic side of things. I find it hard to believe that I could convince my grandparents to pay more for a better fit when the state flagship is both affordable and well-regarded. I hope I’m wrong, though. 
@Youdon’tsay That’s a really helpful strategy! I feel I’d have less trouble appeasing them if I knew they were just as on board with my focus on schools that offer merit. There is certainly no shortage of great schools that don’t offer merit aid.
@mamaedefamilia @menloparkmom I’m from New Jersey, so Rutgers is my state flagship.
Some basic stats:
GPA: ~3.9UW (based on the Collegeboard scale, my school only provides a weighted GPA). Decent course rigor (mostly honors & two AP courses this year, where no one is taking more than four. APs are only open to juniors and seniors).
SAT: 2250 (730 CR, 770 M, 750 W) - I’m taking it again in February for a better superscore, but I’m not obsessing over it.
PSAT: 1470 (221SI) - definitely commended, but I live in New jersey, so I’m not sure about NMSF. I’ll either just make the cutoff or miss it by a point or two.
ECs: nothing earth-shaking. A few clubs with some leadership opportunities next year. I’m a part of a sex education group, and I’m heavily involved in the school’s theater program (actor & techie).
Community service: not much beyond some tutoring.
Awards: again, no game changers. I’ve been recognized by the National Spanish Exam on some level for the past two years, and I was a finalist at a regional poetry recitation competition (the competition is national, but I did not move on to states.)
I’m considering majoring in sociology, but nothing’s concrete yet.
A strong LGBT community is pretty important to me, too.
Honestly, I’m lucky to be in a position where Rutgers is my worst case scenario. I just want to put myself in the best position possible to keep my options open.
From your stats, you should have many merit scholarship choices to consider, in addition to NJ publics and other low list price schools:
http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/
http://competitivefulltuition.yolasite.com/
If you make NMF, here is another list:
http://nmfscholarships.yolasite.com/
FYI- Tuition plus room and board is more than 25,000 at Rutgers. Hopefully, your parents know this.
@naviance They do! That was my bad. They’d be willing to pay for anything that costs as much as or less than Rutgers ($26,185, now that I look at it.)
It did seem a little hinky to me, but hey, I did say take it with a grain of salt. Plus now we all know not to do that with UVA :). I believe he’s going to end up at a school here in the south, but I don’t want to jinx it for the kid and say the name.
@merething those are some fantastic numbers. Well done, you!
@MotherOfDragons Thank you! (For what it’s worth, I don’t think negotiating aid at any school would help because I doubt we’d get a significant amount of aid at any of them, but that story was interesting!)
With your stats, you might have a shot at merit money at Rutgers, maybe honors program.
For what it’s worth, back in the 80s, I opted for Rutgers over Amherst because of what my family was willing to pay and I don’t regret it. I had a great time, got a great education, great friends, got to know my professors, and was accepted to top graduate programs in my field with full funding.
If you want options, check out the book Colleges that Change Lives. You’d be in the upper range for admissions for those schools so you’d probably get merit.
Muhlenberg offers decent merit money but don’t know if it would get you down to 25-30K. Maybe look at Fordham or Drexel? Northeastern offers good money for National Merit Finalists.
Check that link that somebody posted regarding full tuition for certain stats. You might clear the Temple threshold if that’s of interest to you. U of Alabama gets a lot of coverage on this site. They treat their honors folks really well.
Good luck!
Hi merething. I like your posts, and you have a very good head on your shoulders. What I haven’t seen here yet is your preference for location (instate, out-of-state, region of country, urban or rural) and type of college (LAC, mid-size, large university).
Lots of colleges will have decent sociology programs. Some may be more theoretically oriented, some more applied. And there are some kindred programs that can offer interesting alternatives with a sociological core. Many colleges have active LGBT groups but how organized those communities are varies a lot. One of my children is gay but did not select colleges specifically on that basis, though he expressed a preference for a more diverse and more urban setting rather than small colleges. This was partly based on his interest in major league sports! He ended up at an urban university. Majored in economics. I should say that this university got on his list at my recommendation.
@merething - With those stats, suggest you look at the following thread: Your 2250 is close to a 33 ACT.
@mackinaw Thank you so much! I don’t have any location preferences, as long as the campus itself isn’t ultra urban (think Fordham Lincoln Center). I prefer small LACs or mid-size universities. Rutgers is actually a really good fit for me in every respect except size. I know I won’t see 30,000 people every day, but I feel like having so many people around would be overwhelming.
@mamaedefamilia I’m definitely considering Northeastern, especially if I do make NMSF. Thank you for the CTCL suggestion!
@Zinhead I haven’t seen that thread before! Thank you!
@merething, If you are interested in sociology, check out a book by Michael Moffatt called Coming of Age in New Jersey - it’s an anthropological study of Rutgers student life in the 1980s. I find it amusing, YMMV.
For me, Rutgers didn’t feel that huge because the main campus is pretty compact and I took most of my classes there.
If you like LACs, you might look at Muhlenberg in Allentown, PA - merit awards can be substantial.
I have seen student families stretch to afford a school, only to have the student not continue after freshman year due to finances. That’s the saddest of all; you’re there, you make friends, you’ve found a home, and suddenly it’s snatched out from under you. Even though we never had “the money talk” with our son, he seemed to gravitate toward the financial safety. Good thing, too. Halfway through freshman year I was laid off and took a job for less money. I think you are exactly on the right course. Indulge them a little - apply to a financial reach or two - but in your mind, choose from the financial safeties. And, most importantly: Do. Not. Take. On. Student. Loans.
A 2250 is more like a 34 ACT. https://www.act.org/aap/concordance/estimate.html