<p>please take this in the constructive way it is intended – i am a little concerned as to whether you are really getting the lesson to be learned from this – it goes much beyond “don’t sleep in and get to work late.”</p>
<p>your neighbor went out of his way to be nice to you and handed you a job on a silver platter. the other employees knew you were brought in by one of the partners – there’s a good chance it affected how they treated you. you messed up. seriously. beyond just being late. you put your neighbor in an unpleasant (to say the least) situation at work. your failure to understand that your transgression went well beyond the amount of time by which you were late means you simply aren’t learning the lesson to be learned here.</p>
<p>when the emails were returned, you didn’t realize that was a sign that you shouldn’t keep pushing this. when your neighbor wouldn’t sign the NHS form, you didn’t realize what that meant in terms of how betrayed he probably felt for how you treated the job he handed you. in this economy, being handed a job is nothing to take lightly – how many of your hs friends had real jobs this summer? it wasn’t just something to add a line to your NHS application – it was a job with responsibilities that HE gave you.</p>
<p>you seem like a student who has a lot going for you. but you have to get past a sense of entitlement – ie that you are due something from this job because you gave up other summer opportunities. </p>
<p>you have to stop focusing on everything you think you did right, except for just sleeping in a couple of time, and understand what you did wrong – you betrayed someone’s trust in you (your neighbor’s). and even now, 3 months later, you don’t seem to appreciate that fact. it doesn’t matter whether or not you think your offense warranted termination or whether or not you think your neighbor is overreacting – the employer and your neighbor are entitled to those feelings and actions – and you need to understand and accept that and stop trying to minimize your end of what happened.</p>
<p>learn from this – and move on. don’t keep kicking yourself over it, just focus on doing better in the future. treat the next job you get like gold. treat people who do you favors like gold.</p>
<p>I would just add that most of us have lost a job, before. Some through our own fault, others for no fault of their own. </p>
<p>I am still stumped about being let go from my first job almost thirty years ago. The boss asked for volunteers of who didn’t want to work that day because she had scheduled us wrong and had too many employees on shift that day. Two of us volunteered to work another shift and she let both of us go. On the spot. I assume the rationalization was that we “didn’t want to work” - couldn’t be further from the truth, but I think she intentionally did this as a test of our loyalty and work ethics. It was an interesting lesson and one I carried with me to all my other jobs. Why she did it? Who knows. Maybe she didn’t enjoy hiring teens and wanted to help them learn how to handle themselves on the job and who she could weed out.</p>
<p>It’s a painful life lesson. </p>
<p>I like the idea of writing the note of apology. It will help you move on. </p>
<p>In today’s job market, there are plenty of people who are let go from their jobs of 5, 10, 15 or 20 years for reasons that have nothing to do with job performance, and everything to do with a slumping economy. Know that there are plenty of employers who have used this fact to weed out the hard workers with the lazy ones or shift priorities in their employee flow chart. People are taking on even more responsibilities at work and doing work that isn’t in their job description. </p>
<p>Best advice I can give is to write an apology and then just move on. Other opportunities will present themselves and you will be a better person for it.</p>
<p>And know, that sometimes you will lose a job, no matter how hard you work. It’s just a sad fact of life.</p>
<p>AS they said above, you are still focused on the facts- the fact that you, in total missed, what, an hour or two of work and feel that you made up for it.</p>
<p>You need to learn to see it from the other point of view- it’s not you and the employer doing things for each other, a little early today, a little late tomorrow. Many shops are intense about the precise hours of being on time, leaving early, etc. My SIL and brother did not make it to my dying Dad’s bedside, because we did not know when he would die (untreatable cancer for 4 years). I had told her “come now, don’t wait” but because it was not official she could not get time off any sooner than 2 weeks ahead, that is her office’s rule. She could get it for a death, but not the dying. She got there 2 days after he died. How dumb is that rule! But over and over I have seen her office be sticklers about these little tiny rules. So, don’t try to be logical and figure you more than made up the minutes late elsewhere, it is not a debit/credit situation, it is 100% or 0%- on time or late.</p>
<p>And realise that you have angered or embarrassed the person who got you the job. That is the big deal. Every potential job will have different mores & folkways & unwritten rules. Apparently you blew it on theirs.</p>
<p>So if you never slept through your alarm going to school, how do you explain oversleeping for your job twice in a 2 week span? It really doesn’t make sense.</p>
<p>Oversleeping once is a mistake–everyone has done it at some time or other and it seemed like your workplace took it in stride and was gracious about it. But when it happens twice, and after a weekend–and then not bothering to call in…well, then people aren’t so understanding, as you found out to your detriment. </p>
<p>I agree that sleeping in twice may have gotten you fired, but wouldn’t explain why your neighbor has been so frosty. I’m guessing that some of your behavior, which you thought was perfectly appropriate, was not seen by the office in the same light. It would be useful to know specifics, but I’m not sure that you’ll be able to get an answer from anyone.</p>
<p>i just want to throw out another way for you to look at this – just a possibility of what could have been going on in others’ minds.</p>
<p>do you think it might just be possible that you were seen as taking advantage of your relationship with a partner at the firm? come in late once. told its ok. come in late a second time without even calling. whether or not you were in fact thinking you could get away with this because your neighbor was a partner and brought you in, do you realize how it might possibly have come across that you thought that? and could you realize why that might make your neighbor a little ticked off? i don’t know that this was the thought process – just speculating its possible. really just raising it to show you there are reasons why your behavior may have been more serious than you think because you were brought in by your neighbor.</p>
<p>it doesn’t matter if it was was in fact people’s perceptions or not. all that matters is you realizing that you messed up an opportunity handed to you by your neighbor and not trying to excuse it or act like it wasn’t a big deal. again – move on – and just be aware that people can see things much differently than you do – and you simply don’t always get the chance to explain to them or convince them why they are wrong.</p>
<p>unbelievablem is right on the money – that your neighbor went out on a limb for you and you did something to betray not only his faith in you but his reputation at the firm. You need to think long and hard about what you did or didn’t do to provoke this chain of events. It may not just be the tardiness (although that is probably a major part of it). Maybe it was a sense of entitlement that you projected. That is a lethal combination. And I agree with the others, that working extra hard when you show up late twice is not going to make up for it. Basically, nothing makes up for it. As you’ve learned the hard way.</p>
<p>From few threads I have read on CC, I think it would be helpful for parents to help kids adjust to work environment - all the dos and don’ts. If necessary, try to get a friend or neighbor to mentor your kids. We prep our kids on SAT, LSAT, but we seem to assume our kids would know how to behave at a work place. I think it is especially hard for kids who are not used to been around adults. They don’t know what to say or behave around adults, but unfortunately those adults are their boss or collegues someday. </p>
<p>In the OP case, he was probably a hard working person, always did extra work when necessary. But he may still had the mentality of a student - as long as he got his work done, it didn’t matter when. Students often cramp everything the night before, but as long as papers were finished next day, it didn’t matter when. Unfortunately, it’s not the case in the real world. Most managers want their staff show up on time, they are not into flex time unless consulted first.</p>
<p>You’re so right, oldfort! Sometimes kids are not used to the time rigidity of certain workplaces. Coming in late and staying late may be frowned on (some are definitely come in early and stay late places…).</p>
<p>What was the origin of the job offer? Did you approach your neighbor? Did your parents? Or did he initiate the idea? What is the deal with the "nonprofit? </p>
<p>This may be irrelevant, but I’m curious and think it could be relevant if you can give some detail without blowing your cover.</p>
<p>I’m thinking based on what you’ve posted so far that there is more to it than coming in late twice. Not that that isn’t bad, but if they really like you, it would get you a lecture…not a surprise firing. Is it possible that someone in the office saw you as a threat? Of one kind or another?</p>
<p>dadx, ellenmope is questioning you, about your “saw you as a threat? Of one kind or another?” comment. The “Of one kind or another?” could mean student was a real competitor for a permanent position, or it could mean some may not have felt safe around student.</p>
<p>Then again, she may have just been teasing you!</p>
<p>I wasn’t exactly sure what you meant by “threat”. I could easily see “one kind” (a threat to another’s position). I just let my mind wander a bit in trying to figure out what one could mean by “or another.”</p>
<p>Obviously my mind wandered a bit too far…:)</p>
<p>Well, what I was pointing towards was a threat in the form of competition for the boss’s attention. </p>
<p>In small offices where there are close working relationships the existing employees are often not kind to the new guy/girl. This can be exacerbated if there is sexual tension involved, even if ever so slightly. That was the basis for the “one kind or another” reference. But it can be all same sex competition too. </p>
<p>I’ve seen people undermined very effectively by jealous competitors…even if they didn’t come in late twice.</p>
<p>In small offices where there are close working relationships the existing employees are often not kind to the new guy/girl.</p>
<p>Going off topic…but this is sooo true. Especially if the job involves any kind of sales or commission income or bonus opportunities. The most cut-throat situation I ever worked in was a commission sales job…the “old” employees were just plain awful to the newbies. I was completely blind-sided by a jealous old employee when it became obvious that I was going to win a sales competition and a free trip. It was an annual competition and this guy (and his wife at home) always counted on him winning it for their annual summer vacation. I had only been on the job for 3 months and was out-selling employees that had been there 20+ years. I soon quit. I don’t like being around employees that are mean.</p>
<p>Oh dadx, you are so right. I have seen this as well, and it’s amazing how good some people are at sabotage. With that in mind, I would recommend that collegekid93 still write the apology letter, and if he really, truly is being honest with himself that he can think of no idea why his neighbor is so cold all of a sudden, he should ask if there is anything else he did wrong besides the being late.</p>